Love ’em OR Leave ’em

Marriage

An age old question, “Love ’em or leave ’em?”


I heard one young man say, “I love her…but I’m not in love with her.”


So what’s the difference?


He’s been seeing two girls, one is steady and stable, earns a good income, and is head over heels for him–when he is sick, she makes the chicken soup. 


Then there is this other girl, foreign, cool accent, good-looking, intelligent, has similar interests, but no serious income–however, there is some serious hots there. 


What do you do?


Girl #1 or #2.


Who’s the better bet–Ms. I love her or Gal I’m in love with her?


One women said that years ago, mothers would tell their daughters, “If they bring home a paycheck and look better than a baboon, marry them!”


Back then, marriages were often arranged by the parents or the village elders (“Matchmaker matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch…”).


These days, there is much more a sense of the need for compatibility, chemistry, and passion–I can’t live without him/her.


Without the mutual respect and passion, it might as well be in the bedroom like, “Let’s just get this over with” or something pathetic like that.  


In some ultra religious circles, I’ve heard some women sadly simply referred to as “baby machines.”


Yet on the flip side, I remember hearing this story when I was young about this famous model (it could have been about Bo Derek, but I can’t remember for sure), and they interviewed her husband who was known to have married her for her unbelievable gorgeous looks, and they asked him, “What would you do, if she had a terrible car accident, and was horribly disfigured?” And his cold, hard response was, “I would leave her!”


Ok, so looks are skin deep, and passion is important but doesn’t replace shared values, genuine commitment, and selfless giving to one another. 


Maybe the answer is it’s not 1 or 2, but 1 and 2–we need someone that will make the chicken soup when we are sick, but who we also find hot in the sack. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

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