Time To Mellow

Decided I needed a break from all the toxicity related to the 3rd major SAR Child Sex Abuse Scandal at this yeshiva,


This beautiful Japanese garden is way better to look at then the lies, denials, and cover-up that SAR and their public relations cronies are posting. 


Anyway, tired of their bullsh*t and you should be too. 


Enjoy the beautiful Japanese Garden. 


Compliments of one of the prior child victims of SAR Academy. 


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Harassholes Y’all

Someone brought me a copy of this photo from their office. 


It says:

Stop Harassholes Y’all


Not bad. 


Harassment plus as*holes = Harassholes. 


Thank G-d, there are some very good people and managers out there.


But unfortunately not everyone is, and so there are also some real stinkin’ abusers too. 


These types of people should never be in power, since they misuse it!


They do not use the power they have been entrusted with to advance progress, and do good for the organization and its people, but rather they clumsily wield power for their own selfish, personal pleasures and vendettas–bullying and harassing others–and simply because they can.


Belittling others, making them feel stupid and worthless, and then going after them for whatever they want. 


Through intimidation, they keep others from talking…shhh! hush!


Emotional, verbal, and even physical abuse can be common. 


I remember one colleague telling me how their boss would literally throw things at them in their office while they had to sit there “taking it.”


Another has a boss that makes them do the stupidest, most trivial tasks–completely worthless stuff–just to prove a point…that they’re in charge. 


Marginalization, threats, bullying, abuse, harassment…it goes on and it shouldn’t!


In some cases, the harassholes are even protected from someone above.


Money, power, honor…more, more, more!


But G-d sees these people too and eventually cuts the bad ones down to size. 


My father used to say:

G-d does not let any tree grow into the heavens!


Eventually, I am pretty sure that harassholes end up getting some very BIG hemorrhoids or something from above that teaches them to use G-d’s gifts for the good, and to properly love, care, and empathize for other human beings–G-d’s children!


I never knew why hemorrhoids existed in this world, but there is a purpose to everything under the heavens. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Chief Critic

So we all know these type of people that love to criticize and bully.  


They are the critics in chief. 


You have to wonder what their own value-add is.


While other people are doing the work, the chief critic is saying everything is terrible, horrible, tragic, almost the end of the universe as we all know it. 


Yes, there is nothing wrong with well-intentioned and constructive criticism, especially by a supervisor or people sincerely trying to help.


But then there are just those who just look to find something–anything–to fault others, almost as if they are bigger if others are smaller!


This is no good. 


That is no good. 


I would do it this way. 


You need to do it that way. 


It’s almost like a hobby, but it comes with plenty of nastygrams and miserable monologues. 


If only you would do X!


How come you didn’t do Y?


Next time make sure you do Z!!!


OMG, yes we are not perfect angels, but most of us try to work smart, do good, contribute, and get positive results!


Even failure is acceptable if everyone gave it their best effort and it leads to learning and growth. 


Maybe the people on the sidelines who are yelling at the players need to get off the bench and actually worry about what they need to be doing, and doing it, instead of criticizing those in the trenches. 


Teamwork means we succeed or fail together!


Non-attribution is about not getting personal and blaming others, especially when they are working their butts off. 


Rather, roll up your sleeves everyone and get in the trenches and start pulling your own weight instead of putting down and making fun of the others. 


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Have a Heart: Leadership With Heart

So many of you already know my leadership mantra. 


It’s all about:

Leadership With Heart


That means understanding that workers are human beings. 


Yes, they should act as professionals.


But also, they are people with imperfections and problems.


Whether they are fighting addiction, debt, illness, mental health issues, family problems, abuse, or personal loss. 


Life happens.


And it’s not always pleasant. 


Unfortunately, it seems like we are tested all the time. 


Therefore, good leaders, real leaders…lead with heart. 


They focus on the mission, but also empower, develop, and have empathy for the people. 


Think of the people you know in leadership positions today. 


Are they leaders with heart or heartless sons of guns. 


Who do you want to follow into the future?  😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Good Eggs

So I’ve learned it’s not all about the money and the title. 


What is the most important is being around good, decent people.


I’ve always heard that your relationships are most important.


But it’s not just relationships, it’s also who you are relating to. 


There are good eggs, and there are not such good eggs. 


Don’t get fooled by what’s on the eggshell–that is certainly no yolk. 


Most of eggs know who and what they are. 


Some eggs like to scramble the others. 


Some eggs like to poach on the others. 


Some eggs like to crack the others’ shells. 


But then there are other eggs that like it over easy with the other eggs. 


They all want to get the meal cooked and have it tasty and nutritious, but some eggs just don’t know how to treat others eggs with decency, respect, and integrity.


It’s best to be around those eggcelent eggs, and that is where the best happens and the good eggs gravitate to. 


Be careful what eggs you associate with, because there is nothing that smells worse than a rotten egg. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Tongue-Tied Silence

Sometimes in life, people are left tongue-tied. 


Too shocked, shamed, confused, or abused to speak or perhaps to even know what to say anymore. 


Maybe in the face of some horrible things that happen in life, there really are no words.


Instead, the vacant or crazed look in the eyes says it all.


People go through a lot–some of it is inhumane.


Sometimes, only tears can even begin to express what they are feeling. 


I think one thing that is important to do, even when we’re not sure what to say, is to acknowledge that it is okay. 


Silence is often golden. 


Listen more, watch more, feel more, learn more, reflect more. 


Ask more questions. 


Usually, I’m told to ask at least 5 times (i’d say at least 3) to decompose to what is really going on underneath the superficial covers. 

“Tell me more.”
“What else?”
“Can you elaborate?”


Sometimes, people have difficulty getting in touch with their true feelings or accurately diagnosing what’s bothering them.  


It’s more than okay to be thoughtful, be deliberative. 


Words are often cheap, but they shouldn’t be. 


Our words should be truthful, meaningful, insightful, even righteous. 


Take all the time you need, your words are worth it. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

When People Fear You, You’re Not A Leader

As the fortune cookie I came across yesterday says:


“Leadership is action, not position.”


And actions demonstrate a good or evil heart.


When everyone hates a leader is that a “leader?”


– Fear is not leadership.


– Bullying is not leadership. 


– Corruption is not leadership. 


Leadership is:


– Showing others what is right and being a good influence. 


– Rolling up your sleeves and doing the hard work alongside everyone else. 


– Helping others to achieve their potential. 


– When others see you as a leader based on your integrity of purpose and actions. 


How we treat others is as true a test of leadership as of where we want to go and how we want to get there. 


G-d sees everything man (leader or not) does, and only He in Heaven is the Leader of Leaders and the King of Kings.  😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)