Not WHO They Seem

People may all sort of look alike. 

But they are not all the same.

It’s NOT a matter of race, religion, color, sexual orientation, etc. that is important.

But rather it’s what is inside people’s hearts. 

Some hearts are pure in intent (even if not in every deed). 

Others are sullied with hate and abuse of others just because they can. 

But why hurt others when you can help them?

People are not all the same. 

Inside they are different.

Luckily G-d looks at the inside; the outside is just the packaging. 😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Stone Faces Hide The Heart

Some people are so cold and emotionally distant.

They go around with a stone face.  

No emotion seems to seep in or out. 

The face doesn’t betray the heart in any way. 

You say something or do something, and they just sort of stare at you. 

No words, no outward response. 

Just a stone face like a poker face. 

You don’t know what’s behind it. 

But worse yet is a heart of stone–nothing impacts the inside just like the outside. 

Are some people this way because they have been so hurt in the past that they become hardened like a turtle’s shell to protect from the outside world. 

…Ain’t gonna let nothing hurt me again. 

Or are they great at using their poker face to fool, manipulate, and get what they are after. 

Perhaps the worst possibility is that they are simply a real psychopath–someone without conscience or empathy. 

Yes, that is scary because the unthinkable becomes thinkable. 

For most of us, reading verbal and non-verbal cues is critical to understanding other people. 

Hiding those cues can mean that the stone face is going to shatter someone’s world and that won’t be a pretty face at all. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Cannibal Soup

Two funny things came to mind about eating dinner.

The first was a joke my dad always told which was something like:

We had our mother-in-law for dinner…and boy was she good!  LOL

The second was something I heard recently about power and politics, which was:

If you’re not at the table then you on the menu!

Ah, you better have a seat (and welcome voice) at the table or else you may find yourself part of the next batch of beef stew coming out of the kitchen. 

Two new ways for us to think of dinner time.  😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal) 

Them Tables Always Turn

Just wanted to share a saying that I liked.

It is an ancient Mongolian proverb and was in the movie, “Mogul” about the rise of Genghis Khan:

Do not scorn a weak cub; he may become a brutal tiger. 

I think this is the Asian equivalent of:

1) Don’t burn your bridges.

2  Don’t start a war you can’t win. 

3) Pick on someone your own size.

4) What goes around comes around.

The Asian version is better! 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Shooting At You

As I heard recently in a movie:

“When someone is shooting at you, you know their intentions.”

Sounds simple right?

But often the person throwing shots your way may be couching their real intentions and telling you:

“Ah, it’s nothing.”

Some may try and rip you off, and tell you: 

“It’s just business!”

Others punching you like a punching bag tell you:

“You need to get a thicker skin!”

People f*cking with your head ask you:

“Aren’t you being a little paranoid?”

Yet others blame the victim calling you out for any sign of weakness”

“Why are you so pathetic? Crybaby!”

The truth of the matter is when people shoot you, take potshots at you, or otherwise physically, verbally, and emotionally abuse you, there is usually some evil sleight of hand and tongue at play.

People that are good people–don’t abuse you!

There is no guise or beguiling when people are being truthful and when they truly care about other people. 

When they shoot at you, yes you know their intentions.

Stop pretending they didn’t mean it. Stop accepting empty promises that they won’t do it again. Stop listening to hollow refrains of sorry. 

People can be selfish and evil beasts that rip others apart because they will benefit from it or simply because they can or want to.

– Pain and suffering of other human beings is what they relish and feed on like blood is to a vampire. 

Good people–do good to others. 

– They want to give to others and see others flourish–they know G-d and understand the real purpose of life. 

When they shoot you, you know their intentions. 

Sure you can shoot back and sometimes you have no choice, but the best way to win is to be that good person.  😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The United Nations At Work For You!

In case you wondered why the United Nations is always so full of sh*t?

– When the U.N. is done aimlessly sitting around watching on the sidelines while weapons of mass destruction proliferate, millions are being killed, maimed or made into refugees, and genocide and war crimes are occurring…

– When the U.N. is done elevating dictators, sponsors of terrorism, and human rights abusers…

– When the U.N. is done denigrating and making endless anti-Semitic resolutions against the democratic and Holy Land of Israel…

– When the U.N. is done laughing at the President of the United States and his accomplishments…

This is what the UNjust United Nations spends our valuable time and dollars on. 

This photo of a U.N. garbage truck say it all.

Perhaps, this is the only thing that the U.N. is actually good at!

(Thank you to a good friend for forwarding this photo to me)

Why Can’t People Be Genuine

Why all the phonies, users, shysters, and scammers out there?

It starts perhaps with that big, warm smile.

Maybe a handshake and hug. 

Perhaps, you even get a kiss or two (it’s cultural, I think, LOL).

Colleagues, friends, you’re just like family.

Sometimes it’s real and you truly found something valuable in your life.

There are good people of soul and conscience out there. 

But other times it’s an act, a sham, deception, you’re the fool. 

The other person wants something–cash, control, connections.

Oh by the way, can I ask you for just a “little” favor?

You wouldn’t mind if…?

Just do XYZ for me, I got your back. 

I see you know so and so, would you introduce me?

I have a great investment opportunity for you, let me tell you all about it.

Sure it’s okay and actually wonderful in a real relationship for people to be there for each other and help each others…“that’s what [real] friends are for!”

The problem is where the friendship is only about the ask for the benefit of the other and no care for you as a person. 

Then the smile isn’t a genuine collegial or friendship one of happiness and outreach. but rather it’s upside down to get you to do something legit or illegit for the person pressing their lips up and out into that smile you already know is all about the ask. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Nitpicking To Death

It’s funny some people go straight for the kill when they don’t like something. 

Others may nitpick you to death. 

Always! looking for something to henpeck at.

It comes out as you’re stupid, lazy, incompetent, and even worthless.

Why can’t you do anything right (read: the way I would do it)?

If only you would change this, that, or the other thing then it would all be better!

But even when you do manage to change this, that or the other thing–guess what? That just sparks the next round of destructive criticism and never being satisfied.

Hey, since when are you so (f*ckin) perfect?  

Or as the old saying goes, “Who died and made you G-d?”

It should not be about grabbing some sadistic pleasure out of torturing other people with narcissism, judgmentalism, endless criticism and naysaying.

Instead of tearing down, let’s focus on the big picture and what success looks like.

How can everyone contribute to that vision and effort?

Customer service doesn’t mean personal servitude. 

There is such a thing as being a team player, identifying when good is good enough, and driving forward rather than seeking to derail or even go backward. 

Competency is not just for service providers, but for the customers. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

In The Know or Dark

So here is one way that some people can (try to) manipulate you–positively or negatively. 

They can help either to keep you “in the know” or “in the dark.”

As we all know by now, information is power!

When you’re in the know–you are a trusted agent and a valuable resource; you have more dots and more connections between the dots to make; you are able to analyze what’s happening and make better decision going forward; you can lead with knowledge, wisdom, and hopefully understanding. People come to you for advice, guidance, and because you are a true asset to the team, your superiors, and the organization. 

When you’re in the dark–you are untrusted and unvalued, you may actually be seen as the enemy who needs to be marginalized, put out or taken out! You are kept out of meetings, uninformed or misinformed, and so you become more and more intellectually worthless. Further, others are implicitly or explicitly told that you are poisonous and not to get caught up in the pending slaughter.  A colleague of mine put it this way: “Don’t get between a man and his firing squad.”   

So with others, there can be information alliances as well as information warfare. 

To a great extent, you are responsible for keeping yourself in the know. You need to build relationships, bridges, and networks. You need to read, observe, and talk to lots of people. You need time to digest and analyze what you learn.  And you must build your information store so that it is ready and actionable. 

But to another extent, there are others–superiors, competitors, bullies, abusers–who just might seek to keep you in the dark and bring you down. Not everyone is your friend…some maybe just the opposite. (Wouldn’t it be nice, if we all were just friends!) But showing you the intellectual ass of the group is a powerful nut that once superimposed as an image, cannot be easily distilled. There is plenty of groupthink to go around. And taking out a perceived enemy diffuses their power to everyone else.  What a lousy coup by some nasty f*ckers!

Why some friend and others foe you–who the heck knows. Perhaps some is chemistry; some is tit for tat; some is personal bias and bigotry; and some just the crapshoot of fate. 

In the end, keep doing your part to enhance your value, your friendships, and your integrity. The rest, you have to be vigilant about and realize not everyone wants the lights kept on. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

How Angry Do You Get?

Anger is one of those emotions (like jealousy) that can clearly get the best of people. 

Hence, the term anger management!

The Talmud teaches that there are 3 ways to know a person’s real character: 

– Koso, Kiso, and Ka’aso.

From Aramaic to English it translates as:

– Cup, Purse, and Anger. 

In other words…

Cup–When a person “drinks,” this is how they handle their alcohol and how they act when physically (or perhaps emotionally) inebriated or as we say, “When the wine goes in, the secrets come out!” Are they jumping on the bar, ripping it all off and saying and doing the inappropriate and profane or are they able to recognize their point of weakness and ask someone for a ride safely home. 

Purse–This is how a person handles money (and power). Materialism of people speaks volumes. Are they cheap, misery, and narcissistic or compassionate, caring, and giving to others.  

Anger–When a person is angry, this is often when their “true colors” show.  Do they get mean, bullying, abusive, and violent–do they go for the throat and the kill or are they situationally aware, measured, and do they listen, understand, and are they able to cope well when “under the gun.”  

Focusing on the anger piece…

It’s easy to get angry, and it’s also easy to look for a scapegoat and let it out on people that really have nothing to do with why you’re really angry. 

Maybe people can’t always address their anger with the true source, maybe they don’t even recognize their feelings fully, or have no idea how to safely release and reset.

In any case, anger is a dangerous emotion if not dealt with. 

Many mistakes are made that cannot be undone when people lose their cool (or sh*t, as now seems more commonly said). 

Thoughts on this…

Take a breath, slow down. 

Evaluate what’s really going on. 

Think about whether it’s truly the end of the world or not. 

Assess the options for coping with it. 

Look for ways to deescalate and resolve. 

If necessary, seek help from others.

Finally, where possible be compassionate and forgiving. 

And where not, cope, cope, cope–and survive another day!  😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)