After all the work is said and done…
And there is still so much more that I earnestly hope and pray to accomplish with my life.
Perhaps, then, when I am all grown up, I can have some time to be a sun bum too.
Everyone deserves a little fun. 😉
(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
Thought this was a really great photo to explain various ailments of the spine.
From the top:
Normal Disc
Degenerative Disc
Bulging Disc
Herniated Disc
Thinning Disc
Disc Degeneration with Osteophyte Formation
The spinal disc was described to me as a jelly donut between the vertebrae.
The jelly can bulge in the disc or actually herniate/rupture and spill out pressing painfully against the nerve–that’s the scary red that you see!
The disc degeneration and osteophytes are also a pretty frightening looking deterioration of the disc and cartilage.
No wonder
– “31 million Americans experience low back pain at any given time…[and] back pain is the single leading cause of disability.”
– And “80 percent of adults experience lower back pain at some point in their lifetimes…[and] leading contributor to missed workdays”
When we have our health, we don’t always realize how incredibly fortunate we are. 😉
(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
So I’ve been having this excruciating lower back pain for about a week.
I literally cannot sit or stand without shooting pain.
When I sit, it hurts the lower back so much to get up.
And when I stand, all I want to do is relieve the pressure and sit down.
I feel like the warning from G-d in the Torah where He says (Deuteronomy 28:67):
In the morning you will say ‘”If only it were evening!” and in the evening “If only it were morning!”
The only real relief so far is lying down or going in the pool.
Planning to see the doctor to check it out and hopefully with G-d’s mercy it will be better very soon. 😉
(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
So as we age, we’ve got to cope with a different reality.
Our bodies and minds may start to deteriorate.
We can’t do all the same things we used to do (even as we can maybe do others).
There can be a deep sense of loss as abilities, things, places, and people that were critical to us for many, many years may no longer be present with us.
When I used to speak with my aging father about he and my mom getting older, he would joke and say:
Yes, we’re getting older–what’s the alternative?
Then the other day, I ran into a nurse from the Jewish Social Services Agency (JSSA).
We chatted briefly about the good work they do in helping so many elderly and handicapped people.
And then she says to me about how she herself is starting to feel what it’s like to get older, and that she often tells her mom that everything hurts to which her mother responds:
You’re not supposed to leave this world alive!
Putting these together:
I suppose we all need to do the best we can to age graciously ourselves as well as help others in the process–because there is no alternative to aging and no one leaves this world alive. 😉
Thought this was an interesting perspective on retirement.
There are three phases:
1) Go-Go: You retire and are eager to enjoy your newfound freedom, and you spend the time and money to really do the pursuits and travel that you always wanted.
2) Slow-Go: After the initial adventurism and spending, you settle in some more and spend your time on quiet activities, socializing, and relaxing.
3) No-Go: This is the wind down phase, where you spend most of your time at home and at a certain point, may need some assistance to do everyday activities.
Obviously, the last phase is sort of depressing, but it too is a part of life.
Like a bell-shaped curve, we are born, grow, mature, and then decline.
This is the cycle of life for every living thing.
It takes maturity and courage to face it and to make the most out of every single moment that we are blessed with. 😉
(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
So today an 80-year-old Algerian man sat our table for the Kiddush lunch after synagogue services.
And he talked quite a bit about his life philosophy and told me I was a good listener. 🙂
1) TRUE LOVE IS LIKE AN ORANGE:
A man and women that are meant to be together are like two sides of an orange. With his hands, he showed us putting the two sides together, twisting, and he goes, “You see it just clicks!”
2) WHEN LOVE IS NOT TRUE ITS LIKE TWO BIRDS IN A CAGE:
When a man and woman are not soulmates, maybe they just are meant to be together for a time to have children or make a home temporarily. But then, the birds need to leave the cage, and be free!
3) BURIED TOGETHER:
“When people are soulmates, they are buried together, next to each other. Otherwise, one is buried in Greece and the other in Hawaii, and it makes no difference because they are going their own ways in Heaven.”
4) 80 HERE AND 20 HERE
He pointed to his belly and said, “I’m 80 here.” And then pointed to his groin area, and said, “But I’m 20 here!”
5) WOMEN ONLY UNDER 40:
While he is 80, he claims to be robust in the bedroom, and “will never be with a woman over 40…not a day over!” He said, “It’s like an old Cadillac!” Moreover, he said, if a woman is “not perfect” and has a scar like from having her appendix out, “forget it!”
6) WRITING, PLAYING GUITAR, AND DANCING:
He said, “I like to write, play guitar and dance.” And with his arms, he makes some swoops like he is on the dance floor having a good time.
7) PEOPLE ARE LIKE CANDLES:
People are like candles. The body is like the wax that burns down, but the soul is the flame that always rises up. In the end, the soul ascends to heaven just like the flame.
8) INFINITELY STUPID:
He pointed to the yarmulke on top of his head and said: “You know what that means? This means that there is no limit to how stupid some people can be!”
8) YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK:
I asked what he did for a living, and he said “Real estate, Jewelry, and even fashion salons.” I said, “Wow, you’re very fortunate!” He said, “No, in life, you make your own luck!”
10) RESPECT ME IF YOU WANT:
“You respect me, and I respect you. But frankly, I don’t care if you respect me or not. You can do what you want, and so will I!” I said, “Ok, see you next week and we’ll talk again.” He said, “Maybe I will or maybe I won’t talk to you ever again.”
Like his philosophy or not, I never saw an 80-year-old with so much energy, life, and personality. Honestly, there are a lot of people half his age, who act more dead than alive. It was incredible to see this ageless person and hear what that’s like. 😉
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal
Is being old an age, a feeling, or both?
Some people seem to get old before their time.
They go about echting and kretzching–at 40 and 50, they are saying this hurts and I feel crummy about that! Nu, I’m not 18 anymore!
Other people never, literally almost never seem to get old.
One lady I know is going to be 94 this month and she is going strong mentally, emotionally, and physically. It almost seems impossible.
This guy in the photo has a funny shirt on that says:
“I thought growing old would take longer.”
Yeah, it does sort of creep up on you, but really, really fast. Like where the heck did that come from!
I know inside for me, I always still feel like a kid.
I have the same funny side, playful side, and curious side; the desire to be productive and accomplish something meaningful with my life and time, and to love and be loved.
Yeah, things hurt a little more than they did years ago–can’t believe the things I used to be able to do–Yes, at one time, I use to break cinder blocks with my bare hands, true!
But now, I can do other things like swim and hike and I love to write things that I am passionate about or to be a little creative too!
Maybe we do not get old…maybe we are just like caterpillars that morph into something else like butterflies during this life and into the life beyond.
Age is experience, learning, growth–lots of mistakes–and then recovering and trying again and harder.
Life is wonderment and excitement and appreciation for every amazing beautiful thing.
No, life does not get old.
Suffering and loss gets old quick and wish it never was.
But we are physical bodies with eternal souls, so we go on and on into the wild blue yonder. 😉
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
I thought this was a great saying in the Wall Street Journal book review today.
“Expect Less, Appreciate More.”
Many people in their late 30s and early 40s become disillusioned with life.
They have been on the treadmill chasing love, fame, and fortune for so long.
But reality sets in and they don’t get everything they think they have coming to them.
Hence some level of mid-life crisis sets in.
However by the time people reach their 50s, things seem to shift again, and a happiness or peacefulness sets in.
People start to expect less and instead appreciate more from the blessings they do have.
The treadmill becomes a long walk along the beautiful beach or park trail.
We don’t need to chase success, but rather just see the great lives in so many ways that G-d has already bestowed on us.
The U-shaped curve of life–where we start all bright-eyes and bushy tailed in our younger years and which descends into disappointment and disillusionment in mid-life, comes up once again to happiness and a fulfillment in our later years.
Over the course of our lives, we learn that life does not ask, but rather it tells us.
And if we just listen, we can find meaning and contentment amidst it all. 😉
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
So I was speaking to one of our very nice elderly neighbors.
Last week he lost his dear wife of 60 years!
I had visited him during Shiva (the Jewish period of mourning) to wish him our best and let him know we are there if there is anything he needs.
He told me how the night before she passed, they had gone out to eat and to the theatre (she loved the theatre)…and everything was fine!
And then the next day, he went to work–he still teaches medicine at the local hospital 2 days a month.
At midday, he called his wife and asked how she was and if she needed anything from the store (to eat etc.)
She told him she was fine and she didn’t need anything.
But by the time he got home just one hour later…she had fallen, hit her head, and died.
He tried to do CPR by it was no use, she was gone.
Both he and his wife were 84-years old.
He mentioned that would tease her that he was 3 months older than her, and so she had to listen to him!
I felt so bad for him…it was obvious how much he loved her and missed her already.
When he told me how old she was, I tried to say reassuringly:
“That’s a good old age…at least she lived a full life!”
But then he answered:
“84–that’s nothing! 85 is the new 65!!!”
And went on to tell me how many of their friends are already in the 90’s.
It’s funny how no matter what age you are…there is always a will to live!
He said how she had passed quickly and so maybe he could consider that a blessing.
And we talked about how it truly is especially when some other people really suffer prolonged periods with terrible debilitating and painful illnesses.
It was also strange that around the same time, I ran into yet another elderly neighbor, and he had tears in his eyes…and I asked how he is.
He told me how he just learned 3 weeks ago that his wife has lung cancer.
Seeing his expression how bad things were, I inquired what stage it was at.
He said, “stage 3 cancer,” and I told him as well how sorry I was for his pain.
All this made me realize again, how very tenuous life is…and we all hang by a thread that G-d decides at any moment when to shear and when to cut–we need to live every moment to the fullest and as if it’s our last. 😉
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
This guy was a hoot on the Metro in Washington, D.C.
His shirt says:
“With age comes oldness.”
Ah, yeah!
When he was sitting, he had his arms crossed over his chest, and I thought it said:
“With age, comes baldness.”
That too!
Getting old is not easy.
Being young is not easy either.
But it’s really how you handle yourself during every stage and turn in life that defines who you are and what you become as an person and a creation of G-d.
You’ve got to get up and walk the dance through thick and thin…life bring old age and oldness…what’s the alternative. 😉
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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