Pool Poop Galore

So I was at the pool going swimming, doing my laps.  

It was very busy there with lots of people of all ages. 

All of a sudden, I hear some screaming. 

Then the guards come over and tell people they have to get out of the pool, pronto!

There’s been an accident. 

No, not someone getting hurt.

Someone had a bathroom accident in the pool.

The director of the pool is going around explaining to the inconvenienced swimmers that:

“Someone pooped in the pool.”

Not exactly an eloquent way to say it, but it gets the point across. 

What is worse, it was on the side of the pool where the adults were swimming!

Next come the lifeguards with the nets and they are literally scooping swathes of this sh*t out of the pool. 

I see it literally spans almost a half length of this olympic pool. 

What a crappin’ mess. 

Luckily I got almost all my swim in–yes, I am dedicated!

And then took a long hot shower with tons and tons of soap. 😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Creative Washing Sign

Ok, this is not your typical handwashing sign.

Usually these signs that are mandated by health regulations in food establishments remind employees to wash their hands before returning to work.

Of course, given all the Clostridium, E. coli, Hepatitis, Listeria, Norovirus, and Salmonella out there, we know that unfortunately many food workers are not following these instructions very well…yes, yuck!

Here, someone “sanitized” the sign, and rubbed out the “h” and the top part of the “d” in hands and left the crude word, “anus.” 

Now employees must wash not their hands, but their anus (does that help in food preparation?)!

Perhaps, whoever did this are lobbyists for some sort of bidets in this country. 

Given all the political crap that goes on around this town, this may be a very good idea. 😉

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Truly My Love

So this is the graffiti on the wall of the ladies bathroom in Barnes and Noble. 

My wife said to make sure everyone knows that she took the photo and not me (uh, that would be awkward). 

I can’t make out all the graffiti on the wall, but the one in the center says:

“True love isn’t something made up in stories or books. It exists truly, if you believe truly, and truly fight for it. Real love is magic.”

Another one talks about “Gonzales” who is the most beautiful man.

And yet one more…

“I wish I knew how to tell my boyfriend I love him.”

Let me just be frank that the Graffiti in men’s bathrooms is nothing, nothing like this. 

It’s more obscene, uses lots of 4 letter words, and has women’s first names and phone numbers. 

Why do women write and profess their love for men on bathroom walls, while men seem to think and express themselves in far more graphic terms–and why do this while in the stinkin’ bathroom?

I think this may make for some interesting gender studies for someone out there. 

From a technology perspective, I think if people are going to insist on thinking and fantasizing in the public bathroom, perhaps we need some white boards or monitors that you can write and erase from–that way at least we can make room for the next guy/gal to write their truly’s next. 😉

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Bathroom Etiquette 101

So I was out and about and needed to go to the bathroom.

I stopped at a local store where I was and asked if I could please use theirs.

They were nice (not all stores are) and said yes. 

Inside the bathroom on the tank was this hilarious sign with a jingle reminding patrons about bathroom etiquette, as follows:

“If you sprinkle [heart] when you tinkle [heart] please be a sweety [heart] and wipe the seaty.”

Hey, a reasonable enough request–everyone need to cooperate on these things. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lauding Over A Toilet Brush?

Not sure about this video on the SimpleHuman Toilet Brush

On one hand, it’s funny to have such a serious video lauding the functionality and design of a toilet brush.

But on the other hand, the video is pretty darn convincing:

– Slim for easy placement and accessible for quick use. 

– A magnetic collar for picking up the brush and housing with one hand–no messy spills.

– With a stainless steel rod for stability and durability.

– Specially innovative design crescent-shaped brush for those hard to reach areas under the rim.

– Easily detachable brush for when you need replacement. 

– Comes in black and white–so fashionable. 

Ok, so now I have to admit that I ordered one of these today.

I’ll let you know if it really works (Uh no!) 😉

What Is This World Coming To?

This sign from a business on trendy Las Olas in Fort Lauderdale…for real.

Pay for the water you drink, the air you breath, and the doings you leave behind. 

Money makes the world go round, but what happened to love, friendship, and brotherhood. 

It only goes as far as the restroom apparently! 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Most Troubling Sign

I took this photo at a bathroom outside a local facility around Washington, D.C.

This truly is one of the most troubling signs I think you can find, especially when you have to do your thing. 

Why you can’t use the bathroom, even if you say pretty please, I don’t know.

But I would say, Mr. Toilet here should put his hands down and let people in–for use and not abuse. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Which Part of “Men’s Room” Don’t You Understand?

So after my swim, I’m in the men’s locker room.

There are dozens of folks showering and changing.

All of a sudden in strolls a lady.

First she walks one way through the locker room–looking up and down the aisles.

Then she walks the other way through again–glancing this way and that way.

The men are looking at each other like what in G-d’s name is she doing.

Some of the men start yelling at her to get out (maybe the others are sort of glad she’s there)!

She sort of nods at them, turns unapologetically and strolls back out.

The men are bantering back and forth now–like what was that all about? Is she nuts or something?

On the way out of the facility, I stop by the front desk and ask innocently, “Do you know that their is a women walking around the men’s locker room?”

One supervisor goes, “Oh, that happens. The men do that too–going into the lady’s locker room.”

Oh really–is this a professional swim club or a Roman orgy?

The other supervisor, a little more reasonable here, says if someone can point her out, he’ll have a talk with her.

The kid behind the desk says, “Thanks for letting us know.”

The funny thing is there is a sign in the locker room that prohibits photos and videos–but, I guess in-person viewing is permissible–good to know. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

I Like To Be Clean!

This was funny but in a gross type of way.

Bathroom doorknobs are notorious for being germy.

In this case, there was a little bit of tissue paper that someone left on the knob–I know ick!

Apparently someone got fed up with the grossness of this, so they put up a sign–it says:

“I have been here for two weeks. Can you clean me? It like to be clean!”

But that’s not all.

A day later, the note was gone, but that little piece of grossness was still there.

Howie Mandel, please help us! 😉

Bathroom Kudos

Going to a restaurant the other night, I stepped into the men’s room for a minute and noticed this sticker on the right of the mirror that said “Great Work” in big yellow letters on the red background.

I wondered what a strange sign to put in such a private setting as if we need applause for going to the bathroom or washing our hands.

Then again, if you’ve seen many men’s bathrooms, it could certainly be a time for kudos when it is kept clean and people use good personal hygiene–hence, the other sticker on the left, “It’s cool to care!”

The frog sticker in the middle, he’s just keeping an eye on things and thanking everyone for the job well done.

This is a funny commentary on our society these days where people seem to need a pat on the back for everything–even the highly mundane and personal.

Presumably, going to the men’s room will never be the same boring, uncaring event again–at least at this fine eating establishment. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)