OFNR Communications Model

This is a useful 4-part communications process (developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg):


1. Observations:  Tell the other person the behavior you observe from them that is making you uncomfortable. 

When I Observe…


2. Feelings:  Explain how the person’s behavior makes you feel (happy, sad, angry, annoyed, excited, worried, scared, hurt, embarrassed, confused)

I feel…


3. Needs: Describe what you need from the other person (physiological, safety, social, esteem, self-actualization)

Because I need…


4. Requests: Ask them specifically what you’d like them to do.

Would you be willing to… 

It’s a way to make your feelings and needs known and ask nicely what you’d like from others. 


This provides a mechanism to give feedback and work with other people without being confrontational, threatening, dictatorial, or nasty. 


When I see you reading my blog, I feel happy, because I need to try to be a good person and good influence in this world. Would you be willing to share my blog with others? 😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal and Colleague from Work)

Be Happy, Have Fun

Thought this was funny at work. 


One person writes:

Be Happy. Have Fun. 


Another chimes in:

Ok, I will!


And finally a 3rd person writes:

Me too. 

Smiley faces and all. 


Never take yourself too seriously. 


It’s true–try to enjoy the ride!  😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lunch And A Call

This just seemed like a funny photo to me.


In the cafeteria, someone was checking out at the register. 


And on their lunch/food tray, they had, of course, their lunch. 


But also, they had a big black telephone.


Talking about a working lunch!


Wow, is that customer service or what? lol


This reminded me also of the BIG red phone on some top officials’ desks –always ready for that critical call in case of near world catastrophe.


So here we go Joe… 


I will eat my lunch and am ready for your call at any time. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Taking The Spin Off Things

Spin

Ok, so here is what I learned over the years about communication…


Question everything, believe nothing (except in G-d).


It’s not just that a lot of people out there are full of sh*t–yes, that is true too. 


But also that many powerful people are experts at manipulation and spin. 


Take just some recent some examples:


– We didn’t just give America and Israel-hating “suicidal, apocalypse-seeking” Iran a clear path to the bomb and in just half a generations’ time (along with hundreds of billions to continue funding global terror and a lifting of the weapons and ballistic missile embargo), instead we have a “comprehensive long term deal with Iran that will prevent it from obtaining a nuclear weapon.”


– With the hackers who not only showed how to take wireless control of a moving Jeep Cherokee, but also released information on how to do it, they didn’t put another tool in the toolkit of the cyber attackers and terrorists out there, instead “they are bringing atttention to an issue auto makers have for too long ignored.


Could go on and on to issue after issue…


The point is that from a young age we are primed to respect, listen, and automatically believe figures of authority and experts–when our parents, teachers, spiritual leaders or a policeman or fireman says something, we naturally believe them, who they are, and in them. 


This is what politicians and executives and other people in power prey on–that we will believe them over everyone else or any other facts to the contrary. They have the title, the uniform, the badge, or whatever, and so they must be good, honest, and trustworthy.


However, good parents and teachers make sure to tell children not just to take people or what they say at face value. For example, if someone comes to the door and says they are delivering a package, don’t just open the door.  Look through the peephole, ask for identification, or have them come with a neighbor, etc. 


I remember in the very first movie of “Death Wish” with Charles Bronson, where his wife and daughter answer the door expecting a simple delivery from the supermarket that they were just at and instead they get a brutal gang that murders the wife and rapes the daughter. 


Similarly, in cases where women get pulled over, attacked, and raped by someone with flashing lights, siren, and even a fake uniform/badge–even as you believe you are obeying the law, others are taking advantage and fooling you.


As comforting as our beliefs are and perhaps even that we just want to believe–things often are not as they appear or what we want or expect them to be–what goes on behind the scenes and the spin that comes out in front are designed to intoxicate the masses. 😉


(Source Photo: here with attribution to Kristian Niemi)