Longevity…85 Is The New 65

So I was speaking to one of our very nice elderly neighbors.

Last week he lost his dear wife of 60 years!

I had visited him during Shiva (the Jewish period of mourning) to wish him our best and let him know we are there if there is anything he needs. 

He told me how the night before she passed, they had gone out to eat and to the theatre (she loved the theatre)…and everything was fine!

And then the next day, he went to work–he still teaches medicine at the local hospital 2 days a month.

At midday, he called his wife and asked how she was and if she needed anything from the store (to eat etc.)

She told him she was fine and she didn’t need anything. 

But by the time he got home just one hour later…she had fallen, hit her head, and died. 

He tried to do CPR by it was no use, she was gone. 

Both he and his wife were 84-years old. 

He mentioned that would tease her that he was 3 months older than her, and so she had to listen to him!

I felt so bad for him…it was obvious how much he loved her and missed her already. 

When he told me how old she was, I tried to say reassuringly:

“That’s a good old age…at least she lived a full life!”

But then he answered:

“84–that’s nothing! 85 is the new 65!!!”  

And went on to tell me how many of their friends are already in the 90’s. 

It’s funny how no matter what age you are…there is always a will to live!

He said how she had passed quickly and so maybe he could consider that a blessing. 

And we talked about how it truly is especially when some other people really suffer prolonged periods with terrible debilitating and painful illnesses. 

It was also strange that around the same time, I ran into yet another elderly neighbor, and he had tears in his eyes…and I asked how he is. 

He told me how he just learned 3 weeks ago that his wife has lung cancer. 

Seeing his expression how bad things were, I inquired what stage it was at. 

He said, “stage 3 cancer,” and I told him as well how sorry I was for his pain. 

All this made me realize again, how very tenuous life is…and we all hang by a thread that G-d decides at any moment when to shear and when to cut–we need to live every moment to the fullest and as if it’s our last. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

My Ashley Madison

So Ashley Madison is now a well-known adulterous website, particularly after hackers stole 37 million records on the site participants, and have released that information to the public.


These tens of millions of users seek companionship for loveless or sexless marriages or perhaps are just plain liars and cheaters–who knows? 


But yikes, now everyone knows!


Huffington reports that divorce lawyers are anticipating a deluge of new clients seeking divorces. 


And BBC reports that two people have already taken their lives in Canada as a result of the release. 


What is incredible as well are the 15,000 people who used their .gov or .mil accounts presumably to hide their infidelity from their spouses, but now are in potentially huge trouble with their government agencies.


I assume that Ashley Madison prided themselves on their discretion in handling their clients accounts, but lo’ and behold the discretion is for naught compliments of some very naughty hackers. 


Privacy is becoming a very lonely and meaningless word whether you are faithful or a cheater–it’s all open fodder on the net. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Richy Rich Reward

Check out this lost dog sign in Las Olas.

Do you notice anything unusual?

Look at the amount of the reward for finding this canine.

—Yes, $10,000!!!

A healthy Teacup Yorkie can run you as much as $2,000.

So this reward is 5x that and this kelev is on meds!

Amazing the meaning of money and dogs. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Go Quick And Far

I love this African proverb that I heard recently:

 

“If you want to go quickly, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together.”

 

When we’re alone, we are traveling “light”–we don’t have to worry about or help another person…we can go quickly.

 

However, when we go together with another, we have a companion and support, and can endure more and go much farther.

 

In life, going it alone…is more of a “flight” response. When you have to run, you get away as quickly as you can.

 

In the movie Last of the Mohicans the fleeing male character yells to the woman, “Stay Alive! No matter how long it takes, I will find you.”  They disperse, each one moving as speedily as possible to survive.

 

Similarly, when we have to “fight,” there is power in numbers. We are always stronger and more capable as a team.

 

Already from The Three Musketeers, we acknowledge the familiar refrain of, “All for one, and one for all.”

 

Similarly, when a military force advances it does so in strength with coordination and in unison, but when it is under severe attack and is retreating, often it does so chaotically, running with “every man for himself” trying to save as many as possible.

 

Overall, while we need the strength of unity and the speed of an agile runner, in the end we have to have faith, hope, and perseverance to survive.

 

Ernest Hemingway said, “The world breaks everyone, and afterwards some are strong at the broken places.” 😉

 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

People Needing People

My wife always tells me she needs a lot of personal space–she likes time and focus to do “her thing.”

No one nagging, yapping, coming around, asking for things…just some quiet time for herself.

I can appreciate that–we all need time to think, be creative, take care of personal things, and pursue our own interests.

At the same time, people need other people.

When we are done doing our things, we need human interaction, attention, conversation, sharing, touch.

I saw a few things this week that really brought this home:

1) The Netflix show “Orange Is The New Black” about a young woman put in jail and how she handles all the challenges of being incarcerated with literally a cast of characters. But in one scene in particular, she is thrown in the SHU (Solitary Housing Unit) and within about a day, she is hearing voices and talking to someone that isn’t there. Alone, she crawls up into a ball–like a baby–craving someone to come, anyone.

2) Visiting the nursing home today, I saw many old people screaming for help. It is a really nice nursing home as far as they go, and the people apparently weren’t screaming because of mistreatment, but rather for attention–a human being to be there interacting with them. Interestingly, even when the old people are sitting together, they are still yelling in a sort of helpless anguish being alone, only calming down when a family, friend, or caretaker comes over to them, touches their hand or hugs them, asks about their wellbeing, and shows genuine human caring. Yes, they have real physical needs they call out for help for too, but I think even many of those calls for help–too many and too often to all be for actual needs–are just for someone to come around and pay them attention and be there with them.

3) I remember years ago, seeing some parents put their child to sleep at night. But the child wanted their parent to sit with them and comfort them while they drifted off to sleep. But this parent strictly followed the Dr. Spock guidance that you just let them cry it out, and boy did this little girl cry and cry and cry. I said to my wife, this is not the right way–it can’t be. And I myself always fought that the children should be held and comforted when they cried, not forced at such a tender young age to be alone and “self-sufficient.”

While people need time and space for themselves, even the biggest introvert among us needs other people.

In solitary, people can literally lose their mind–alone, scared, desperate, but solitary doesn’t have to be a prison, it can be an emotional and mental condition where people are craving even just a hug from someone who gives a damn.

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Clover 1)