My Ashley Madison

So Ashley Madison is now a well-known adulterous website, particularly after hackers stole 37 million records on the site participants, and have released that information to the public.


These tens of millions of users seek companionship for loveless or sexless marriages or perhaps are just plain liars and cheaters–who knows? 


But yikes, now everyone knows!


Huffington reports that divorce lawyers are anticipating a deluge of new clients seeking divorces. 


And BBC reports that two people have already taken their lives in Canada as a result of the release. 


What is incredible as well are the 15,000 people who used their .gov or .mil accounts presumably to hide their infidelity from their spouses, but now are in potentially huge trouble with their government agencies.


I assume that Ashley Madison prided themselves on their discretion in handling their clients accounts, but lo’ and behold the discretion is for naught compliments of some very naughty hackers. 


Privacy is becoming a very lonely and meaningless word whether you are faithful or a cheater–it’s all open fodder on the net. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lock Or Peephole

So is that keyhole in privacy for a lock and key or as an exhibitionistic peephole?

The New York Times had an excellent article on this yesteday, called “We Want Privacy, but Can’t Stop Sharing.”

We are compelled to share online to demonstrate that we are:

– Important

– Interesting

– Credible

– Competent

– Thoughtful

– Trustworthy

The problem is when you inappropriately overshare online, you may leave youself little to properly disclose in building real-world intimate relationships in a normal give and take of “opening and closing boundaries.”

Moreover, being like a lab rat or in a house of glass walls for all to watch indiscriminantly can leave us with feelings of “low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.”

Being under observation–even when it is voluntary–implies being open to judgement and this can drain us of our ability to be ourselves, creative, and take calculated risks.

We don’t want to become too busy brushing our hair back and smiling for the camera and making everything (artificially) look like made for reality TV (e.g. Kardashian) perfection. 

The key to privacy is to disclose what needs to be shared, put a lock on what’s personal, and not arbitrarily leave the peephole eyes wide open. 😉

(Source Photo: here with attribution to g4ll4is)

Mars On A Dime

According to the Wall Street Journal that compares with $671M that it cost NASA (which arrived just 3 days earlier than India’s) and the European Space Agency’s mission that cost $386M in 2003,

But aside from the Indian’s being able to achieve a Mars mission at a tenth the cost of what we did, BBC reported that they also did it $26M cheaper than even the cost of the science fiction movie Gravity with Sandra Bullock about the International Space Station. 

While we clearly go the extra mile and are able to do great things–why does it always cost us so much to get there?

Perhaps, you can say that we are somehow more diligent or careful in our work (i.e. putting a premium on safety) or that it’s just the higher cost of labor in this country or that we are early innovators and incur the costs of research and development that others than leverage. 

However, even though we are considered a very wealthy nation, it is fair to ask whether we are managing our wealth with discretion and an eye to the future or do we just take it for granted and are wasteful with it?

With a $3.9 trillion federal government budget (note, this is a full 21% of the entire U.S. economy/GDP), we are talking about some serious money, and we should be getting the most for it.

Unfortunately, the gravy train extends from certain “Beltway Bandit” contractors–e.g. remember the $640 toilet seats, $7,600 coffee makers, and $436 hammers uncovered by the Project on Government Oversight–and apparently all the way to mission Mars. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Video Chat TMI

This is a new video chat service from Airtimeand the music and video make it look pretty good, but I have my sincere reservations.

Airtime connects as an app from Facebook and according to Bloomberg BusinessWeek (11-17 June 2012), “users can then talk to their Facebook friends, search for someone with similar interests, or just hit the ‘next’ button to find a random chat partner.”

While, I find the idea of randomly engaging online with someone intriguing, I also more find it more than a little scary not knowing who they reallyare–there are plenty of fraudsters, charlatans, and perverts out there that you would not want to be talking to.

The not so funny thing is that the precursor to Airtime called Chatroulette–was truly, as the name implies, a gamble and many times a bad one at that, with some unscrupulous users availing themselves of the video to expose themselves online.

Frankly, it seems that many people may be using these applications more as swingers to hook up, have a fling, and engage in flirtatious or even sexual behavior than for developing any sort of real meaningful relationships.

Furthermore with Airtime, based I assume on people’s Facebook profiles, “as two users converse, Airtime suggests interests and common friends they may have in common”–with these actually popping up on your screen!

Whatever happened to any sort of privacy and discretion in sharing and letting conversations and relationships evolve naturally and over time between people rather than forced and in your face!

To me even the concept of having to use video when chatting is over-rated! I think most people do notfeel all that comfortable in front of the camera and are actually more at ease talking without being viewed every moment through a lens.

I have seen cameras deployed for desktop computers that were hardly ever used. And even with Apple’s Facetime application built right into the iPhone, I rarely ever see anyone actually using this–do you?

I think this is a clear lesson with technology that just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we should.

We need to take into account people feelings and their comfort zone, especially when it comes to privacy, and not just put them in front of every camera and float their personal interests and friends randomly or regularly.

“Discretion is the better part of valor” and it’s time to appreciate technology and social media companies and applications that recognize this and roll out services that are respectful of people privacy, security, and right to have some control over their lives.

The Not So Candid Camera

When you’re at the swimming pool, it’s a time for swimming, splashing, and fun.

With family and friends, it’s even a great time to catch some scenic photos of loved ones having a great time.

You expect to see cameras and smartphones taking some discreet pictures or videos.

Not a new problem, but some people take advantage of the people swimming or tanning to take compromising shots.

When people are knowingly scantily clad in public–people will argue what level of responsibility they have for the way they present themselves.

However, when others take advantage of that–let’s be clear, the predator is the aggressor!

At the pool, I saw this taken to a whole new level today–and by someone and in a way I would not have expected.

This older-looking guy, with a hat on, strolls up to the pool with a huge tripod mounted video camera on a WALKER and starts taking rolling video on a pool almost exclusively filled with little children.

There was no warning, no request–“may I”, no do you mind, just a video camera mounted on a walker at the head of the pool with lots of little kids, and also some teens, women, and more.

First, I watched to see what this guy was doing…then I thought, I better capture this and I took a series of photographs of the guy–who had no apparent compunction about invading everyones privacy.

But the story isn’t over–it get’s worse.

All of a sudden, I notice my computer picking up a wireless network with a name that self identified them with a clear inclination for child pornography (I am withholding the actual name so as not to tip off the criminal). I capture this too–with a screenshot. Was it the same guy with mounted video camera or someone else?

So much for a relatively serene vacation, and some quiet private time.

I just saw Dateline’s “To Catch A Predator” early this week and I almost can’t believe this is happening. I think to myself–is this real?  Unfortunately it is.

I reported both incidents to hotel security. At their request, I email them the screenshot of the wireless network name that would make anyone cringe. Next call is to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and CyberCrime.com.

Normally, I believe in live and let live, but we all have to do our part to protect children and other innocent victims.