Sadistic SOBs

So the scariest people in the world are the sadistic ones. 


They are the ones without empathy.


They get pleasure from hurting others. 


Yes, we all hurt other people sometimes.


But it’s different when we do it by accident or when we feel bad about our wrongful actions.


Sadistic people don’t just not feel bad or regret…


Instead, they actually savor watching others suffer and squirm. 


Other people’s pain and misfortune are what gives them their energy and happiness. 


Rather than working on themselves, they rather put down others. 

“I’m better, because your worse or because I kick your a*s!”


What types of people are these? 


They are not really human. 


They are lacking genes for empathy. 


They are lacking a holy soul. 


They are cold, calculated, and hateful. 


While it wonderful to see some people seek love and peace. 


It is disturbing to see those that run after hate and harm. 


Your loss is their gain. 


Your pain is their pleasure. 


Your tears are their springs.


Your cries are their laughter. 


Why did G-d put these sub-humans in this world?


Perhaps to test us humans. 


Can we maintain dignity, integrity, and humanity among the beasts of hell? 


We can, but like others that have gone before us, we bear the mark of fighting with the devil. 


The devils live among us, but we must still strive to be angels before man and G-d. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Listen Better, Empathize More

So I am working on myself to improve and be a better person.


Recently, I had a number of experiences with people telling me of some very trying circumstances.


And at first, I found myself listening and talking to them about it, but then my mind started to get distracted by other things going on and other problems in my life that I needed to deal with.


So after we finished speaking about their respective family, work, and even health problems, I felt that I may have cut off some of these conversations too early or without enough empathy. 


After clearing my head, I thought to myself, I really want to listen better and empathize more. 


And so I went back and did just that. 


I found each person (in person, by phone, or email), and I said that I felt sorry for what they were going through, and I asked more questions and tried to really just be in the moment and there for them.


They seemed to each really appreciate me taking the time and effort to come speak with them and that I cared. 


I know that I am human and make mistakes, but I want to continually grow and do better in life. 


In this case, listening better and empathizing more–it felt great and I learned to listen to my conscience and do more when I think it’s right! 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Management Is A Privilege

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So some people have this notion about management that is all wrong. 


– Management is not a right or entitlement.


– Management is a wonderful privilege!


The privilege comes with responsibility and is earned by knowing how to manage and treat your people right.


That means:


– Acting with integrity


– Treating people fairly, with dignity, and respect


– Showing you value them


– Helping to develop them


– And of course, achieving results together!


I heard it said well like this:

“If you don’t treat people well 

you won’t be a manager for long.”

Again, it’s a privilege, not a right, to manage and lead others. 


Those who abuse their privilege and people–it’s like the cycle of life. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

From My Cats To Yours

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Diversity is a very beautiful thing.


Whether you’re an orange, red, or green cat.


It doesn’t matter–you are a cat!


All cats gotta get along. 


Might does not make a right in any catfight.


But brotherhood of cats does us all good. 


Does every cat need to stand up for it’s daily food?


Sure, but there is more than enough catfood and nip to go around. 


I like to be in a great cat sea purring and frolicking all day long.


Live and let live–and love–all cats and dogs and people and others!


And from the great Martin Luther King Jr. 

“We must learn to live together as brothers 

or 

perish together as fools.”


Shabbat shalom and happy Labor Day holiday weekend!


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Conflict – Resolution or Escalation

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So I thought this was interesting on the cause of conflict. 


There are four main parts:


1) Deprivation – You believe that someone is depriving you of something you need or want. This could be something physical like money, or an object or it could be inanimate such as love or respect. The feeling of deprivation is anchored in a real or perceived feeling or being deprived of access to resources or the imbalance who has those resources. 


2) Name – You identify the person you feel is causing you this deprivation. 


3) Blame – You blame them for their role in causing you harm. 


4) Claim – You justify the accusation by anchoring it in a claim that the other person has violated some social norm such as taking something that doesn’t belong to them or violating an agreement you have with them and so on. 


As the conflict comes to a head, it is clear that people are feeling hurt, that there is a desire to correct the situation, and that you are going to confront the (perceived) culprit and make your case on why what they are doing is wrong and how it should be resolved. 


If you have the wrong person in the cross-hairs, your justification is weak or you’re not telling the whole story (i.e. maybe you played a part or harmed the other person too), or the person just won’t give you a fair hearing and sincerely work with you to resolve it, then the conflict may escalate from here.  


Usually, it’s best to listen, empathize, negotiate, compromise, try to be reasonable, and resolve the situation at the earliest point possible.


If there is a greater conflict or risk to either party involved, then heels may get dug in and all avenues to resolving it can be open including legal and even all out war. 


Conflict is no game, but in some cases it may be unavoidable–and then the ramifications can be earth shattering. 


What to do when you’re in a conflict situation? Think before you act, and then think again. 


Ultimately, peace is one of the greatest of blessings. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Going From Hearing To Listening

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I thought this was pretty good. 


How do we go from hearing to listening?


We have to be silent (and contemplative)!


– Check out the letters in the word silent.


– They are exactly the same as the letters in the word listen.


Keep the mouth shut and really listen to the what the other person has to say, and you might actually learn something. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

When Little Girls Are Not Princesses

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Normally, little girls dream of and are treated as the beautiful princesses that they are. 


But not in Rockville, Maryland last Thursday, where a 14-year old, 9th grade girl was brutally raped by two immigrants (17- and 18-years old) in the bathroom of their high school. 


She was mercilessly raped multiple times “vaginally, orally, and sodomized.”


One of the attackers had previously been detained at the border, but then released as per the lax standards of border security that were in place by the prior administration. 


It is incredible that as a superpower nation, we have not secured our own borders and our homeland. 


Unfortunately, there are many stories like this, and I personally know of a girl from the Bronx who was similarly raped in the stairwell of her school. 


Forget education or competitiveness, when we can’t even provide a safe and secure school environment for our children. 


It is not a strength to let our enemies gain the upper hand, but rather a weakness of our national character–to let bleeding hearts undermine our security.


Sure, we must be empathetic and caring for all people, but this must come hand-in-hand with proper vetting and due precautions. 


Every child in the United deserves to be a princess and a prince, and no one here legally or illegally should be allowed to destroy that present or future. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Greatest Failure of Leadership

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So perhaps the most damaging trait of failed leadership is hubris.

When a leaders exhibits arrogance–bullies and degrades others, especially underlings–then that absolutely destroys the moral fiber of and the employee engagement in the organization.

No, it’s not the salary and benefits, or recognition, or position title, or even the grandness of the mission of the organization itself–although they are all important–but rather, the key ingredient to employee satisfaction is the common sense fundamental of how we treat our people.

People rising or elevated in the organization frequently forget the humble beginnings from whence they and their families likely began.

They see their honor and fat pay check and power–and they start to perhaps think of themselves as (close to) G-d Almighty, Him/Herself.

But it is not their position that makes them in the image of G-d, but how they care for and treat others.

If they shepherd their flocks meekly and with empathy and kindness to all then they emulate G-d, the creator and sustainer.

But when it goes to their heads and they become fat and haughty with themselves and are above everyone and care not for the basic dignity and respect of each individual in their steward then G-d sees and G-d hears the cry of the oppressed, and the mighty will surely fall and hard.

As it says in Isaiah 13:11:

I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless.

Those who are blessed by G-d with position, money, and power–their challenge is to be gracious and giving with it. 

When they “laud it” over others and when they think that they are truly “all that”–rest assured that G-d does not let any tree grow or tower (of Babel) build into the Heavens themselves. 


Empathy, kindness, graciousness, and generosity–that is true leadership–and that is when employee engagement, satisfaction, and productivity will bear the mark of the meek and the truly great person and leader. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Trouble With Communication

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So I remember this old comedy skit showing the problem with communication.


There is a deaf guy trying to communicate with a blind guy.


Boy, this is a real conundrum.


The deaf guy communicates with sign language that the blind guy can’t see. 


And the blind guy communicates by talking which the deaf guy can’t hear. 


So neither are getting any messaging across. 


This is sort of like every day life, where people communicate talking past each other. 


Each may only be concerned with what they feel, think, and have to say. 


They don’t really care to listen or understand the other person. 


It like the blind and deaf guy communicating and neither can hear the other. 


Most importantly, we need to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. 


To think from their perspectives, and to communicate having in mind to fulfill for the other person–what’s in it for me (WIIFM).


In Judaism, their is an important teaching that each person is an entire world unto themselves.


We need to be sensitive to their world and speak our mind, but definitely in their language. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Compromise Preferred

 

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Sometimes we may feel that we are right and that’s it.


Our inclination is perhaps to just do what we think and hold the line. 


But if we can take a step back and listen to the concerns of others then we can be the bigger for it. 


That sweet spot of compromise is where we keep both our integrity intact and still find a middle ground that’s acceptable to the many. 


Compromise is better than just giving someone the proverbial finger and telling them where to go and how to get there. 


Strength is peace…and peace is strength.


When that doesn’t work, then there still always the alternative for good to overcome evil in this world. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)