Leading Change

I heard a great presentation on change management.


Some highlights I really liked:


– U.S. Army War College in developing high performance leaders seeks to develop competency to operate in an “VUCA” environment:


Volatile

Uncertain

Complex

Ambigious


– The key is NOT to get “emotionally/amygdala hijacked” where our “reptilian brain” in response to threats jumps to:


Fight, Flight, or Freeze


– Instead, we need to manage change methodically as “transitions” (which are personal and emotional) so that we understand that:


Every Ending is a New Beginning


(G-d does not close one door without opening a new one for us.)


–  When one thing in life comes to an end, this is where there is enormous potential for growth in:


The Reinvention of Ourselves


Release the emotions and be ready to move on!


– In short, it can be difficult to accept change unless we realize that:


Problems = Opportunities


And this is the critical place where we can try new things and learn and grow. 


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Boiling A Frog

So sometimes you don’t know that something is happening until it is too late. 


A colleague yesterday told me this great simile:


It’s like when you put a frog in a pot of water and turn up the heat, the frog doesn’t know what’s happening until it’s too late, and he ends up being boiled alive!


With better knowledge of the context, of course, you can have the foresight to act, to fight, to get out, whatever. 


Similarly with the frog, if you throw him into an already boiling pot of water, he immediately jumps out, and viola he’s saved. 


It’s really important to have good situational and political awareness. 


Not everyone out there is so innocent–even when they have a good act and pretend, “Who me?”


Many of them know how to work the system, so that the system works for them. 


G-d forbid, when you’re in the way, they’ll often turn up the heat. 


And if you don’t realize what going on, you’ll be the frog that’s a not so tasty dinner. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal

Fight or Flight

So I learned this interesting thing about the Fight or Flight response.


Fight or flight is not just physically fighting or fleeing, but it has a much more diverse set of responses involved to perceived life-threatening events. 


Fighting (turning towards the threat)

1. Physical fighting (Protect yourself with force)

2. Non-physical aggression

– Criticism (e.g. Attacking personality or character)

– Contempt (e.g. Attacking sense of self-worth with sarcasm, shaming, insults, eye-rolling, and sneering)


Flight (turning away from danger)

1. Physical fleeing (e.g. Run/hide)

2. Non-physical withdrawal

– Defensiveness (e.g. Deflecting the attack with excuses, disagreement, counter-arguments, or blaming)

– Stonewalling (e.g. Conveying disapproval or disconnection, stop participating, change the subject, or giving the cold shoulder or silent treatment)


When you recognize that not all issues are life-threatening, then you can lower the intensity of the “Amygdala Hijack” in terms of fight or flight and instead work towards developing mutual understanding, trust, respect, and shared goals and solutions. 


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal and attribution of content to Dr. Britt Andreatta)

Cross The Street

I like this saying by life coach Iyanla Vanzant”

“When you see crazy coming, cross the street!”


I remember learning similarly from experts that the first lesson in self defense is always:

“If you can run, run!”


That doesn’t mean your not strong or courageous.


It’s just common sense to try to avoid trouble if you can. 


When people seriously fight, both usually can end up with a black eye or worse. 


And there are truly a lot of crazies out there.


Peace is always desired.


But strength (and preparedness) is always required. 


This makes sense as well in the larger context of the USA upgrading it’s nuke arsenal and other weapons systems and platforms to deter enemy aggression.


Thus, peace through strength and of course, prayer! 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What Do You Do With Fear?

Thought this was a really good perspective on fear.


“You have two options:


Forget Everything And Run


Or


Face Everything And Rise”


It the old fight or flight!


– Running may be good when you can avoid a devastating fight and get yourself and your loved one to safety.


– But sometimes you don’t have that option and you have to “fight the good fight” and overcome the devils you face. 


Everyone is afraid of something(s) and/or somebodies. 


If someone isn’t afraid then they are brain dead!


Strengthen yourselves, ready yourselves, and pray. 


What do you fear and how will you face it? 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why People End Up On The Sh*t List

Shit List.jpeg

This was a funny sign…the old “sh*t list!”


When people do cr*p to you and they do it maliciously and with intent, and as repeat offenders enjoying their evil ways hurting others. 


Invariably, they can end up on the sh*t list. 


However, I’ve never actually seen such a list until this. 


You have your:


– Offender

– Violation

– Was it a friend, stranger, lover, family, other?

– When did it occur?

– Severity level


It even has a line for your “plan of attack”–whether you confront, ignore, stew, avenge, talk sh*t, or other. 


And finally whether the terrible offender is still on or off the list. 


While not every offense is a mortal blow and we need to have compassion for people and try to love everyone…sometimes, people can behave so badly and don’t stop no matter how much you try and beg and offer to help them that they just force themselves onto the bad boys/girls list. 


We don’t want to have ill feelings to anyone–we are all G-d’s creatures–but what do you do when people go so far astray or have problems so big that they hurt others so bad and so often.


Surely, we need to have understanding and compassion first for people and try to do everything to help them and bring peace to the world, but when your dealing with the true worst of what people have to offer and they lack basic human self-control and decency, perhaps that’s why victims revert as a last resort to their sh*t list. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Flying Sneaks

Flying Sneaks.jpeg

We can all fly.


Not necessarily through the air.


But through life and ultimately in death, we can fight and take flight and soar. 


It is our attitude and determination to overcome the hardest of hardships that we face. 


We feel the pain for the situations where we fell, failed, and lost control over outcomes. 


People who told us what they thought we are and where we can go…our ego busted, our shame written all over us, our regret and fear over what we did or should’ve done differently.


We can’t go back.


We can only go forward.


We can learn, and we can grow.


We can compartmentalize the problems and hurt. 


We can pick up the pieces wiser than before and more determined to succeed.


Wings are not just for angels, but also for sneakers and for souls. 


I want to fly all around the world, and more so into the heavens to see my Heavenly father and be reunited for eternity with my family and loved ones.


Fly free and wide.


Fly high and unobstructed by poverty, illness, abuse, and loneliness. 


Fly and soar beyond anything we could ever have imagined. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)