On Time Is Late

Smart saying I heard today on time management:

Early is on time.
On time is late.
Late is unacceptable.

Having grown up in a very precise environment,  I can certainly appreciate this. 


Seriously, from a Yekke (Jewish German background), we were taught to be 15 to 30 minutes early–i.e. on time–for everything. 


I remember starting to get “little” reminders to get ready and get out the door well in advance and numerous times before the clock struck. 


Fashionably late or any other type is not in the vocabulary and frankly is a complete f*ckin insult. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

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Anus Protectus

So I learned this new phrase today:

“Anus Protectus”


It’s what it sounds like.


It when you communicate (or do) something in order to “cover your a*s.”


Sometimes we communicate as an FYI.


Other times as a FYSA.


And then there is the CYA. 


All of these are what we call “Purposeful communications.”


The only real difference is their purposes. 


When you open your mouth or your email make sure you know your:


– Why (intent)

– Who (audience)

– How (persuasion techniques)


These are the secret sauce of good communication. 


More blogs to come on this important topic. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Worst Passover Cake Ever

So this has got to be the worst Passover cake ever. 


It’s definitely not kosher for Pesach. 


Not only is it made from chametz, but it’s shaped like a chazer (i.e. pig) too.


This thing would be conceptually treyf even on the best of non-Passover days. 


Does it have lard too? 


I don’t know for sure, but would it really be a pig cake if it didn’t!

This lousy cake doesn’t even have an ounce of chocolate in it–have you ever heard of a genuine dessert that tastes like the calorie count it adds up to be without chocolate? 


I’ve heard of the callous calling people a pig for eating too much cake and being fat, but making the oink oink face directly on the cake itself–and on Passover–is not only insulting, but at $28.95, it’s overpriced too. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Fortune Cookie Generator

Ok, this is a most interesting fortune cookie:

“If your cookie still in one piece, buy lotto.”


Hmm, what cookie is this referring to?  And why should I buy lotto?


So I start to think that this is likely a computer-generated garbage fortune–i.e. the artificial intelligence makes no f*ckin sense! 


Anyway, you will be fascinated to know that the modern fortune cookie with the paper fortune inside the hollow of the cookie was invented in California.


However, the Japanese put something like this in the bend of the cookie already in the 19th century. 


Using this fortune as an example, I have this gnawing feeling that the Japanese fortunes had a lot more intellectual substance to them. 


Anyway, someone tell this lame cookie fortune teller that Lotto is way out and Powerball is in and where the real winnings are. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Alien Orange Vacuum Cleaner

I love this art in Jerusalem, Israel. 


These big orange overhangs from the lamp poles look almost like big vacuum hoses that are ready and going to suck people literally off the streets. 


Can’t you just see the people in mid-air suction, arms and legs flailing all around, yelling “Hey, what’s going on around here!”?


Hopefully, they don’t end up on an alien spaceship somewhere with some weird creatures wanting to explore about us or even use us for food!


Okay, this is what I call Purim spiel–fun for the holiday celebration today.


Seriously though, those orange things are great. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Who Says Flying Can’t Be More Enjoyable

This flight attendant is terrific here. 


She delivers the typical hum-drum public service announcements in a whole new way–now (maybe) you’ll actually pay attention.


Smart cookie and fun sense of humor. 


Happy Friday and enjoy!


(Thank you to Itzchak Ochayon for sharing this with me)