Life In The Times of Coronavirus

I heard my daughter laughing from another room.


A real hearty bellyaching laugh.Β 


Then she came in and shared a WhatsApp post from one of her friends which said:

I ate 11 times and took 5 naps and I woke up and it’s still today!

Then I couldn’t stop laughing. πŸ˜‰


(Credit Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

The Dog Diet

Funny story from a wonderful relative of mine…made me laugh during this coronavirus outbreak.

——————-

“I interrupt the COVID-19 pandemic to bring you this lil story…

Last night I went to Sam’s Club to buy a bag of food for my dogs.


Already in line, a woman behind me asked me if I had a dog.


I stare at her (those who know me will imagine my gaze πŸ€”πŸ˜³) …but then why would I be buying dog food…right? 😝😝


So on impulse I told her no, that I didn’t have a dog, that I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but 15 pounds less!

I told her that it was the perfect diet and that all you had to do is carry the kibbles in your pocket and eat one or two every time you feel hungry (I have to mention that practically everyone in line was interested in my story).


Frightened, the woman asks me if I ended up in the hospital because the dog food had poisoned me. I answered…of course not!

I was admitted because I bent down to smell the butt of a bulldog and I was hit by a truck πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I thought the man behind her was going to have a heart attack…he was laughing so hard!

…Let’s continue promoting reading! 😁

I have to confess…I posted this to make you smile. It’s your turn to copy/paste it and make someone else laugh.


We need to laugh more! Have a GREAT DAYπŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„”


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

 

Telework Lessons from Coronavirus

 

So we’re all stuck in the house teleworking because of Coronavirus.


After a number of hours, I hear from my daughter that her laptop stopped working.


Apparently the battery overheated.Β 


Like a good millennial, what does she do?


She puts it in the refrigerator to cool down.


And sure enough, when she takes it out, it’s working again.Β 


Next problem of the day is where the VPN circuits are overloaded (too many people trying to login from home).


And when you try to call the help desk, of course all you get is a busy signal.Β 


We sure are learning a lot during this Coronavirus outbreak. πŸ˜‰


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Corruptocrats

I heard this new term that I thought was worth sharing:

Corruptocrats


Refers to corrupt politicians.Β 


Couldn’t believe it’s actually in the dictionary.Β 


Not all of them are, obviously.Β 


Could it be a whole “political party” too? lol


If only everyone was pure of heart and intention. πŸ˜‰


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal, and note that no disrespect intended to anyone)

Cannibals Love To Have You For Dinner

I love this saying from one of my colleagues in the National Security field about the Middle East:

If you aren’t invited for dinner, you’re likely on the menu!

Oh how true it is.Β 

It reminds me of a mother-in-law joke my father used to tell about this guy telling his friend:

Yeah, we had my mother-in-law for dinner.Β And boy was she good!

Anyway, no one can tell a joke like he did.Β 

Last thing you want to be is on the menu. πŸ˜‰

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Story About Dressing Modestly

One of my good friends told me a funny story.

The friend of his daughter was wearing one of those cropped shirts which expose the belly.

She said that her dad told her to throw a party for her clothes, so that her shirt could meet her shorts.

I guess all dads worry about the modesty of their daughters.

This was a good tznius story that hammers home the point and is also pretty funny. πŸ˜‰

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)