Ghosting – How Rude!

So when I listen to the Kane Show in the morning on 99.5 FM, they frequently do this thing where they call someone to find out why they’ve ghosted their lover or friend. 

Invariably, it often turns out that there is someone else in that person’s life. 

The person is usually either too scared to confront the other person or is just a cheater and doesn’t want to tell the other person, instead wanting to “have their Kate and Edith too.”  LOL

So “ghosting” is where the person just disappears, cuts off contact, or goes incommunicado. 

It’s sort of an avoidance strategy. 

This leaves the other person not knowing what happened or why. 

It’s like the line just goes dead between the two people.  

Sometimes, one person is clingy or forces themselves on another in which case, the other person may feel smothered, and therefore repels or wants to run in the other direction. 

Other times, how do you tell someone that you just don’t like them anymore? 

Worse is if the person is cheating behind the other person’s back, hiding it, and denying it–that’s unforgivable!

When a person ghosts another, it’s sort of like at work when someone get’s marginalized. 

No one wants to give honest feedback to the other person, so instead for some people it’s just easier to avoid them and the topic  altogether. 

I think the point is not to hurt other people. 

The question is how do you cut the strings with someone you don’t like without getting into a huge, ugly confrontation?

Honesty is the best policy, and treating people the way you would want to be treated. 

But for some people who don’t take no for an answer, it’s understandable that you may just want to have the phone on busy signal or you attempt to break contact.

Relationships are tough, and when they go bad, ghosting without at least trying to end it nicely can not only be rude, but also it’s chicken to break it off as a ghost, and not a person. 😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

That’s The Power Of Love

Please see my new article in Times of Israel called, “Shabbat Nachamu: That’s The Power of Love.”

We don’t have to fight, but even when we fight, we can overcome through compassion, love, and constructive reconciliation.  

Love and friendship can win over anger and fighting, and help to usher in the ultimate redemption. 

Hope you enjoy the article. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Everyone Deserves A Day of Rest and Happiness

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So someone I know came over to this country and literally has to work 7 days a week for months at a time!

They don’t want or need to work that much, but their employer insists that’s the way it is. 

On top of it, they don’t even get overtime for all the unbelievable hours they have to put in. 

One day, this person actually just broke down in incredible tears, just asking to get a single day off. 

Finally, finally, finally–the employer gave in–for just a single day!

The person was so happy–one day of freedom; one day to enjoy; one day to regain their inner beauty and humanity. 

I was so happy for them!

Every person deserves at least one day off per week. 

Every single one of the major religions in the world that is anchored in the Bible–Judaism, Christianity, and Islam–have a holy Sabbath as a day of rest.

There is a divine and ancient wisdom to this. 

People need a day to rejuvenate.

Everything is nature does.

Even the fields have to lay fallow every 7th year so the earth can revitalize and replenish itself. 

There is a natural cycle to things–peaks and valleys–and we need to have some rest and relaxation–to work for something and not for nothing. 

The joy on this person to just have a day off–it was so incredible and touching. 

It spoke light years to me about treating people right–just–humanly–with compassion–and doing good over evil in this world.

What does the employer need to wring an extra days work out of their employees for the rotten greed of money and profits?  

Better to care for your people, and they will be better off for it and thus to the needs of the business and its customers. 

Care for people–they are people. 

Love people–they are G-d’s beautiful children. 

Treat others as you would like to be treated. 

Let everyone have a day of rest and something to look forward to–to enjoy, to have some happiness, to get time with their family and friends, to get back to themselves, to attain a deserved and proper peace of mind, body, and soul. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)  

Crumbs Are For The Birds, Not The Workers

Since the days of slavery, workers have had very little in terms of rights or protections. 

The rich and powerful capitalist employers hold all the cards.

Like this poster says:

“Which Shall It Be?
Duke: ‘If you demand your rights, no more crumbs from my table.’
Working Man: ‘Give me my rights and keep your crumbs.'”

The capitalist owners enjoy being able to give “trickle-down economics” to the average working man. 

Basically, it’s just crumbs from the rich man’s table. 

And if you don’t like it, and you want rights, protections, and more…tough luck, and no more crumbs for you!

But the little guy who breaks his back to earn his daily bread, wants his dignity and respect more than the crumbs from the “capitalist pig” taking advantage of him.

Trickle-down is bullshit!

Crumbs aren’t going to raise the standard of living for the working class. 

We need living wages, social and income equality, and workers rights and protections to keep the little guy from being bulldozed by the rich and powerful. 

Certainly, there are many rich and powerful people that are good and generous, but not everyone is that that way. 

And we can’t have mistreatment of people by those wielding a whip over them.

Yes, workers need to perform and conduct themselves professionally–that is their job.

But workers shouldn’t be taken advantage of with poor wages, little to no benefits, and miserable working conditions (including bullying, harassment, and hostile work environments). 

Remember that in life tables can get turned and the rich and powerful can become the poor and the weak.  

Therefore, pay and treat your workers as you would want to be paid and treated. 

No one is so big as to be untouchable by G-d. 

Money and power will not save anyone from illness, accidents, disasters, and misfortune.

The only thing that does save people is good deeds, kind words, compassion, faith, and prayer. 

Crumbs are for the birds, dignity and respect are for the people!

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

White Lie, Black Truth

No this is not another civil or human rights post, although I like writing those as well. 

Rather, this is about how we use our words to help and not hurt others. 

“White Lie, 

Black Truth”

Yes, we all know that it’s wrong to lie (it’s even in the 10 Commandments). 

Except, of course, when we need to tell a “white lie” in order to keep someone’s feelings from getting hurt.

For example, I may not like your new haircut, but when you ask me glowingly what I think, instead of telling you how it’s too short or whatever, I tell you, “Yeah, it looks great!”

Then, there is the “black truth.”

That’s when we swallow hard and tell the  truth to someone, even though it may hurt their feelings, it’s ultimately for their good. 

For example, your child may be going of course with their lives, and while you don’t want to hurt their feelings, you know you need to tell them the truth in order to help them course-correct.

Telling lies or truth can be hurtful to people, but a white lie isn’t really bad, because it’s used to protect someone’s feeling, the black truth, is also not so dark and foreboding, because there are times when you need to get past the superficial, be real with someone, and tell them the hard truth in order to help them in a very practical sense. 

That’s one of life’s most difficult lessons, that not everything is black or white. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Folly of Bullies

So there is an issue with people not treating other people with respect and dignity in life and at work.

Today again, the Wall Street Journal reported that “Companies Wake Up To The Problem of Bullies at Work.”

This is leading some organizations to issue “Codes of Civility” for people to act like mensches and treat each other nicely. 

Adults are just so like children–with work bullies not all that different from schoolyard bullies.

Why do people need to elevate themselves on the backs of others? 

Isn’t it better to join hands and work together as brothers for the betterment of all.

Bullying anyone at work or at home doesn’t benefit anyone, including the bully!

I read today in Psalms 37: 35-36:

“I have seen the wicked in great power and spreading himself like a green tree. Yet he passed away, and behold, he was not; I sought him, but he could not be found. 

[But] Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright for the end of that man is peace.”

How can people forget that the true “big boss” is G-d Almighty in Heaven.

And He judges us for a good or not so good end. 

We are all just flesh and blood and we all answer to the One That Was, Is, and Will Always Be!

Isn’t it obvious that we’re here to learn to act with lovingkindness to one another.

All are imperfect, but treating each other well is how we get closer to G-dly perfection. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Feeling Good Vibes

So what a nice compliment…

I’m talking with someone this week.

They’re new, and so I tried to be generally nice and ask about them, show interest, and just be overall friendly and welcoming.  

It was amazing–these little things, and they made someone else feel comfortable and happy. 

They are smiling and go to me:

“I get good vibes from you!”

Wow, good vibes–awesome!  

And now I was happy too. 

I thought to myself, how often we goof and give off the wrong vibes and how easy it really is to just treat most people decently and sincerely, and get a good reaction. 

Yes, not everyone is easy to get along with and not everyone is nice.

But generally, I think it’s good to try to be the type of person that others feel good vibes from. 

I’ll take that and continue to try and spread the wealth. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

 

The CEO and The Janitor

Wow, I heard a powerful story from a colleague that I wanted to share.

The colleague’s father was a industrial psychologist and he would go into some relatively big organizations to improve the functioning and culture. 

One of the things that he would do is get the CEO and the janitor in the same room together. 

And he would say:

“Both of you have vital jobs in the organization and you need to appreciate each other!”

At this point, the CEO and the janitor would be looking around the room super quizzically.

And the psychologist would to the janitor and say:

“The CEO’s job is critical, because without the CEO, we wouldn’t have the leadership and vision for the organization to be successful, and you wouldn’t have a job and salary.

 

Then he’d turn to the CEO and  explain:

The Janitor’s job is critical, because without the janitor, we wouldn’t have a clean and functioning building and facilities for everyone to do their jobs and be successful, and you wouldn’t be able to come to work ever day.”

 

It’s really amazing that despite all the fancy titles, corners offices, and rich compensation packages for some, really everyone in the organization is vital in their own way!

 

We need to remember that when we deal with others that they are human beings–in the image of G-d–and we need to treat all with the utmost dignity and respect for both who they are and what they contribute. 😉

 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Back On The Hiking Trail

Such beautiful weather today–still February, but Spring has sprung!

We went hiking and I am so grateful to G-d after the surgeries of the last couple of years that I can once again start to enjoy Sugarloaf Mountain together with “my sugar.”

Thank you so much Hashem!

On the hike, one brief thing we talked about was how to email (and speak) nicely to other people.

My wife told me something really smart she heard from a colleague at work:

“WHEN you are having strong feelings and want to communicate them to someone…

Sit down at the table.

Pull your chair in.

Write down what you want to say.

THEN…

Imagine the other person is sitting right across from you.

Turn the paper towards them.

Pretend that they are reading from it in front of you.

NOW…

Decide whether you still want to send it that way.”

So much stupid stuff we say and email could be avoided if we just did this little mental exercise in our heads and in our hearts. 😉

(Source Selfie: Us)

Customers Gone Stinkin’ Wild

I took this photo yesterday in a Home Goods store. 

This is the aisle for rugs and mats. 

And it is a disaster zone!

I asked the clerk (with the orange apron on) knelling on the floor at the end of the aisle if the customers did this.

And he said, “Oh yes!” and he had to clean it all up. 

My G-d, what gets into people? 

It’s one thing to shop–pick things up and put them down–but throwing everything all over and trashing the place–stuff on the floors and literally left dangling off the shelves. 

And forgetting for a moment what this does to other people’s shopping experience and the potential loss of sales for the store…

How about we think for a moment about the poor guy working in the store to earn a few bucks for his family who now has to go on and his knees to clean up this pigfest? 

Is this really shopping or for some people perhaps it’s is a way of venting their anger by choosing to sh*t on the innocent next guy.

Gee whiz folks–can you have a heart? 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)