OFNR Communications Model

This is a useful 4-part communications process (developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg):


1. Observations:  Tell the other person the behavior you observe from them that is making you uncomfortable. 

When I Observe…


2. Feelings:  Explain how the person’s behavior makes you feel (happy, sad, angry, annoyed, excited, worried, scared, hurt, embarrassed, confused)

I feel…


3. Needs: Describe what you need from the other person (physiological, safety, social, esteem, self-actualization)

Because I need…


4. Requests: Ask them specifically what you’d like them to do.

Would you be willing to… 

It’s a way to make your feelings and needs known and ask nicely what you’d like from others. 


This provides a mechanism to give feedback and work with other people without being confrontational, threatening, dictatorial, or nasty. 


When I see you reading my blog, I feel happy, because I need to try to be a good person and good influence in this world. Would you be willing to share my blog with others? 😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal and Colleague from Work)

Goals Vs. Tactics

I liked this saying from someone in the IDF. 


Be “flexible in tactics, but stay fixed on the goals!”


There are many ways to accomplish the same thing. 


And different people have their own approaches. 


As in the lyrics: “You take the high road and I’ll take the low road.”


That’s absolutely okay. 


In fact, that’s one of the strengths and benefits of diversity.


We bring different ways of looking at the world to the table.


Hence, we can bounce fresh ideas off each other and come to a great way forward. 


The main thing is that we focus on our goals and progress to achieve them. 


Be rigid on goals and flexible in tactics. 😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Who’s In Charge Here?

This was a funny photo…


Sign around the ape says:

Laugh now, but one day, we’ll be in charge


I guess you never know who will be in charge. 

  • Be nice to everyone. 
  • Never burn bridges.


All of life is a circle–and everything and everybody goes around and around.  😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

@Bagels and Business with CEO Hair Cuttery, Dennis Ratner

Hair Cuttery has 1,000 company-owned Salons in 18 states in the USA.  


Dennis Ratner, the founder and CEO is a huge success story.


– Puts people first. 


– Gives back to the community. 


– Believes in vision, planning, and execution. 


– Dennis said: “Effort = Reward” and to be “Relentless” in pursuing your passion.


– Great roles model. 


(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)

Contributors and Whiners

Have you ever noticed the relationship between those that contribute and those that whine. 

The bad news is there is a highly inverse relationship between contributing and whining.

– Those that contribute, don’t whine–they are focused on how to make things better!

– Those that whine, don’t contribute–they complain and naysay, but add no real value.

The good news is that some solid contributors can more than counterbalance the whiners.

– Unfortunately, too often the whiners outnumber the contributors.

– But fortunately the contributors outweigh the whiners.

Despite your best efforts, you may not be able to make the whiners stop whining and throwing up roadblocks. 

You’re often best-off spending your time working with the other contributors who want to see things through to success. 

Be a leader, not a babysitter and help the contributors win! 😉

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal adapted from here with attribution to mediamodifier)

Project Suicide

This was sort of a funny scene in a project meeting. 


One person describing the challenges at one point, spontaneously and dramatically motions to take a knife and slit both wrists.


This absolutely got people’s attention.


Understanding the struggles the person was expressing, and trying to add a little lightheartedness to the situation, I say:


“This is a tough project, pass around the knife.”


This got a good hearty laugh around the table, with one person saying that this was the quote of the day. 


Anyway, we want to make operations as effortless as possible on people, but the project work to get there is definitely making people work for it. 


Let’s avoid project or people suicide–be supportive of each other, pace ourselves, team together, and problem-solve to get it successfully over the finish line.

 

Soon we can celebrate all the challenges we overcame together and from our determined efforts, all the wonderful results. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Don’t Get a Huge Hierarchy or a Big Fat Flat

So organizations are a funny thing.


Too hierarchical and you can get lost in the maze of corner offices.


Too flat, and there is no one to make a darn decision. 


Huge hierarchies can be costly and inefficient, but flat as a board organization are mob rule.


I think there has got to be a happy medium.


– One, where there is leadership, accountability, a reasonable span of control, and room for professional growth. 


– Two, where there is dignity and respect for everyone, and your tile and level doesn’t make any difference in terms of having your voice heard and being able to make a difference. 


Hierarchies that reach to the pompous sky and flat organizations where all the air is let out and nothing can get done are those that need to be hailed away in a big menacing orange wheel lock.


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)