Stone Faces Hide The Heart

Some people are so cold and emotionally distant.


They go around with a stone face.  


No emotion seems to seep in or out. 


The face doesn’t betray the heart in any way. 


You say something or do something, and they just sort of stare at you. 


No words, no outward response. 


Just a stone face like a poker face. 


You don’t know what’s behind it. 


But worse yet is a heart of stone–nothing impacts the inside just like the outside. 


Are some people this way because they have been so hurt in the past that they become hardened like a turtle’s shell to protect from the outside world. 


…Ain’t gonna let nothing hurt me again. 


Or are they great at using their poker face to fool, manipulate, and get what they are after. 


Perhaps the worst possibility is that they are simply a real psychopath–someone without conscience or empathy. 


Yes, that is scary because the unthinkable becomes thinkable. 


For most of us, reading verbal and non-verbal cues is critical to understanding other people. 


Hiding those cues can mean that the stone face is going to shatter someone’s world and that won’t be a pretty face at all. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Who Is More Religious?

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called, “Being Super Duper Kosher.”

Of course, I am sure many good people are trying to do the right thing and genuinely practice to be better servants of Hashem. However, this should never become an excuse to use religious practices to misguidedly “compete”–hurt or shame–and somehow “one up” their neighbor’s religiosity or status as fellow Jews. That would be to erroneously think that G-d can’t see all His children as good and deserving in their own ways, even though the creator can certainly see what is in the heart and in the doings of all of us.


Hope this resonates with many of you who are kosher but feel unfairly (mis)judged by all the latest variations these days. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Shooting At You

As I heard recently in a movie:


“When someone is shooting at you, you know their intentions.”


Sounds simple right?


But often the person throwing shots your way may be couching their real intentions and telling you:


“Ah, it’s nothing.”


Some may try and rip you off, and tell you: 


“It’s just business!”


Others punching you like a punching bag tell you:


“You need to get a thicker skin!”


People f*cking with your head ask you:


“Aren’t you being a little paranoid?”


Yet others blame the victim calling you out for any sign of weakness”


“Why are you so pathetic? Crybaby!”


The truth of the matter is when people shoot you, take potshots at you, or otherwise physically, verbally, and emotionally abuse you, there is usually some evil sleight of hand and tongue at play.


People that are good people–don’t abuse you!


There is no guise or beguiling when people are being truthful and when they truly care about other people. 


When they shoot at you, yes you know their intentions.


Stop pretending they didn’t mean it. Stop accepting empty promises that they won’t do it again. Stop listening to hollow refrains of sorry. 


People can be selfish and evil beasts that rip others apart because they will benefit from it or simply because they can or want to.


– Pain and suffering of other human beings is what they relish and feed on like blood is to a vampire. 


Good people–do good to others. 


– They want to give to others and see others flourish–they know G-d and understand the real purpose of life. 


When they shoot you, you know their intentions. 


Sure you can shoot back and sometimes you have no choice, but the best way to win is to be that good person.  😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Keep A Cool Temperament

So this was amazing. 


I was working with someone for a number of weeks/months. 


All of a sudden, I got a complete blow off email from them that said they are done and they wished me well in a sort of very sarcastic and even contemptuous way–like a real f*ck off!

Were they just being nasty or trying to pick a fight or something?


First, I was taken aback and honestly hurt–like what the heck happened that they showed their true strips…did I miss it all along. 


I showed my wife their email, and she read it the same way, and said “What an asshole!”


I continued to hold my mouthpiece and feelings as I contemplated how I would respond. 


I have to admit that some choice words and wishes back to them definitely came to mind. 


But I said to myself, “Hold, hold, hold!”


It wasn’t easy not to respond in kind–lash back out at them–and even then some for good measure. 


No, that isn’t the way. 


You can rise above this. 


I kept my mouth shut and literally controlled my reactions.


Well, lo’ and behold, I thought I would never hear from this person again the way they spoke to me, but then a few days later,  I received another email where apparently they rethought what they did.


It didn’t have to come from me to them to “set them straight!”


Their own conscience seemed to have played on them and they came to their own senses about how they behaved and spoke. 


I learned from this that it is critical to maintain your composure and keep your cool under all circumstances, no matter how trying. 


Don’t stoop to their level–you rise above it!


Sometimes, the other person may just surprise you and rise back up too and do the right thing in the end. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Good Eggs

So I’ve learned it’s not all about the money and the title. 


What is the most important is being around good, decent people.


I’ve always heard that your relationships are most important.


But it’s not just relationships, it’s also who you are relating to. 


There are good eggs, and there are not such good eggs. 


Don’t get fooled by what’s on the eggshell–that is certainly no yolk. 


Most of eggs know who and what they are. 


Some eggs like to scramble the others. 


Some eggs like to poach on the others. 


Some eggs like to crack the others’ shells. 


But then there are other eggs that like it over easy with the other eggs. 


They all want to get the meal cooked and have it tasty and nutritious, but some eggs just don’t know how to treat others eggs with decency, respect, and integrity.


It’s best to be around those eggcelent eggs, and that is where the best happens and the good eggs gravitate to. 


Be careful what eggs you associate with, because there is nothing that smells worse than a rotten egg. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Sadistic SOBs

So the scariest people in the world are the sadistic ones. 


They are the ones without empathy.


They get pleasure from hurting others. 


Yes, we all hurt other people sometimes.


But it’s different when we do it by accident or when we feel bad about our wrongful actions.


Sadistic people don’t just not feel bad or regret…


Instead, they actually savor watching others suffer and squirm. 


Other people’s pain and misfortune are what gives them their energy and happiness. 


Rather than working on themselves, they rather put down others. 

“I’m better, because your worse or because I kick your a*s!”


What types of people are these? 


They are not really human. 


They are lacking genes for empathy. 


They are lacking a holy soul. 


They are cold, calculated, and hateful. 


While it wonderful to see some people seek love and peace. 


It is disturbing to see those that run after hate and harm. 


Your loss is their gain. 


Your pain is their pleasure. 


Your tears are their springs.


Your cries are their laughter. 


Why did G-d put these sub-humans in this world?


Perhaps to test us humans. 


Can we maintain dignity, integrity, and humanity among the beasts of hell? 


We can, but like others that have gone before us, we bear the mark of fighting with the devil. 


The devils live among us, but we must still strive to be angels before man and G-d. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Breaking The Cycle Of Trauma

Thought these are some beautiful sentiments about breaking the cycle of trauma in our lives: 

“Hurt people hurt people.

That’s how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation.

Break the chain today.

Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. 

Greet grimaces with smiles.

Forgive and forget about finding fault.

Love is the weapon of the future.”

– Yehuda Berg, The Kabbalah Center

This is powerful–it should only be that we can have a complete healing, betterment, and a renewal of peace for all. 


One other thing that I heard that was so plain and simple, yet so smart was that:

Our job in this world is to do the most good that we can do!

Thank you to Minna Blumenthal for sharing all this.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)