Relax, It’s Just Sex

Just thought this was a really funny-sad display in the window of this store in Tel Aviv. 


It says:

Relex It’s Just Sex

Forget that Relax is spelled wrong. 


But advertising for sexual items in such a casual way…like it’s sex and what’s the big deal.


Maybe I am old school, where sex actually meant a deep personal relationship and emotional intimacy. 


…Where you partner was also your spouse and best friend.


Now–unfortunately–it’s just sex!


I think as a society that we have lost something here. 


…Something important. 


If it’s just sex, and it’s just with anyone, then what does that leave for us with that someone truly special in our lives? 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why We Chase Love

Being a heart alone in this world is very lonely, indeed. 


Chasing another heart, so that we can pair together makes two less lonely hearts.


Two hearts that beat as one making beautiful music together. 


When the hearts are in harmony, we sway and are uplifted flying away into the heavens.  


And when the music is discordant, we are forced to retune and to grow wings that we never even knew we had. 


Hearts that complement each other, help us face the questions we often fear to ask ourselves. 


When these hearts meet, they touch so gently, and like silk they dance a perfect dance.  


What is meaningless alone is all of a sudden meaningful with another. 


What is too painful to bear by oneself is manageable when shared between two. 


And what is joyful is magnified in sweetness when there is someone else to enjoy it with. 


One heart chases another until they embrace that long blissful embrace. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Matter Of Hair

hair-jpeg

I saw these ladies crossing the street in downtown DC.


The standout here was obviously the hair!


The girl on the left had Barbie pink hair. 


The one on the right had blond dyed hair with the roots showing. 


And the lady in the middle had two-tone hair, with brown on one side and blond on the other (now that was really different). 


This reminded me of the hippies’ hairstyle in terms of the perhaps rebellious nature of the style. 


In Judaism, I remember learning that hair is like the crown on a person’s head, and for modesty, the custom is for married women to cover their beautiful hair–it is only something that gets shown/shared with her husband as part of their intimacy. 


Hair can say a lot, especially if you are fortunate enough to still have some (lol). 


It can be uncombed and messy like a mad professor’s, finely brushed and cared for like Trump’s, or even transplanted to cover the onset of unwanted bald spots.


Like a horse’s or lion’s mane, hair frame’s a person and can make the plain or even unsightly, more attractive and desirable; at the same time, if not properly cared for and groomed, it can make a person look disheveled and even crazy.


Of course, hair is just what tops off the person and is only skin deep, so looks (including hair) can be defining or oh, so deceiving.


Hair or hairless, groomed or gross–it’s a reflection and a statement of how we’re looking to each other. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lock Or Peephole

Privacy
So is that keyhole in privacy for a lock and key or as an exhibitionistic peephole?



The New York Times had an excellent article on this yesteday, called “We Want Privacy, but Can’t Stop Sharing.”



We are compelled to share online to demonstrate that we are:



– Important

– Interesting

– Credible

– Competent

– Thoughtful

– Trustworthy



The problem is when you inappropriately overshare online, you may leave youself little to properly disclose in building real-world intimate relationships in a normal give and take of “opening and closing boundaries.”



Moreover, being like a lab rat or in a house of glass walls for all to watch indiscriminantly can leave us with feelings of “low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.”



Being under observation–even when it is voluntary–implies being open to judgement and this can drain us of our ability to be ourselves, creative, and take calculated risks.



We don’t want to become too busy brushing our hair back and smiling for the camera and making everything (artificially) look like made for reality TV (e.g. Kardashian) perfection. 



The key to privacy is to disclose what needs to be shared, put a lock on what’s personal, and not arbitrarily leave the peephole eyes wide open. 😉

(Source Photo: here with attribution to g4ll4is)

Yes, I Mean No

This is a hilarious video of a social experiment.

This girl–a complete stranger–goes up to random guys and asks “Would you have sex with me?”

On the top there is a running counter–thumbs up or down–for how many of these guys say yes or no.

The final count for this girl and the complete strangers is 50-50!

The reactions of the guys who stumble all over themselves ranges from “Are you crazy?” and someone who actually calls the police on her to “Why not?” and “I will definitely have sex with you!” or how about this guy who offered up a middle of the road approach of “Would you like to hang out with us first?”

In a companion video, they reverse the social experiment, and a guy propositions random girls with the same cavalier question.

In 100 cases, he was rejected!

So are women more discriminating? Are they looking for intimacy while men are looking for a physical hookup? Or are men just driven by their chemistry, evolution, and species preservation to procreate far and wide?

While the girl chosen for this experiment is undeniably attractive, given the risk of STDs and AIDS and also broken relationships and even families, you still have to ask yourself are men’s brains fully wired on right? 😉

Needy And You Know It

Needy And You Know It

Some people are so needy–they are almost like children in adult’s clothing, while others are so distant they may as well be living on another planet–they are in there own world.

The Wall Street Journal (15 July 2013) asks why some people seem to demand so much?

It explains that there are three types of people:

1) Secure–these people were raised in a consistently caring and responsive manner and they become warm and loving people themselves able to form healthy balanced relationships–where they can be apart from and together with others and function well in both situations.

2) Avoidant/Dismissive–those who are raised in an environment where neediness was not tolerated and was seen as suffocating, and so they learn to minimize closeness to others–they are distant and detached.

3) Anxious/Needy–People raised in an inconsistent environment, where they got mixed messages about nurturing, and they end up constantly feeling insecure and needy, like they will get drawn in and then rejected again, so they smother other people with their neediness and don’t recognize and respect appropriate boundaries.

This third personality type, who is always needy and ends up pushing away other people, who feel suffocated, reminds me of a funny scene in Woody Allen’s “Annie Hall” where a couple visit the therapist, who asks each of them how often they have sex? The man says, “Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.” But then the woman when asked the same question says, “Constantly. I’d say three times a week.”

Just like people can’t really change their basic sexual needs (men apparently wanting physical intimacy more often then women), so too people can’t change the home life they were raised in–good, bad or indifferent.

Whether people are needy and clingy, aloof and dismissive, or plays between hot and cold, we need to figure out how to care about and love them for whoever they are.

Boundaries are key. Taking some personal space is healthy. Together time and intimacy is critical.

It’s all about finding a balance–where each person has the time and space to be who they are, and then come back to a warm and caring relationship to share, rejuvenate, and laugh and cry together. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Getting To Know You

Getting To Know You

This was a funny picture that my wife took today.

It is a guy sitting in the restaurant surrounded by women.

He is eating and reading.

The book is “What Do Women Want?”

What–like most men don’t have a clue how women think!

Anyway, sort of an interesting way to take a break from the workday.

Pondering the ultimate mystery men seem to want to know.

Anyway, I know what my women wants and that’s for me to take out the garbage. 😉

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)