Forgot To Bring Blood

So I go for some blood work today.

Lady pokes my arm, and nothing comes out. 

She moves the point of the needle around and around– still no blood. 

 

She says: “Hey, it’s your fault!”

I say: 

You’re right, no one told me that I was supposed to bring blood with me today. 

She looks up and says, “Okay let’s try the other arm!”

Then she spanks the arm…and I blurt out laughing, “hey do that again!”

Then poke, poke, and the blood easily fills a half dozen tubes.

She’s said, “You see that worked!”

I said:

I only brought blood in my right arm today!

If I could read her mind: “Ok, get the F*** out of the office.”

But she was nice and actually says, “You can get your results in about 3 days.”  😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Chocolate Dreaming

Don’t know about you but these looked pretty darn good at Costco.

“Chocolate Dream”

Chocolate cream, whipped cream, and chocolate cookie.  

Now, how could that be bad?

Dreaming chocolate…

It reminds me of the other day when I saw someone daydreaming.

I said to him, “Are you okay?”

He replies, “I am far away!”

It sounded good, so I said, “Can you take me with you?”

Got a good laugh from him.  😉

(Photo Credit: Andy Blumenthal)

Ilhan Omar – Laughing At Terrorism Against America

It’s time to stop defending this anti-American hate-monger who sits in the esteemed House of Representatives.

Omar’s words: 

When I was in college, I took at terrorism class….we learned the ideology…Every time the professor said Al Qaeda, his shoulder went back {in intensity/fear}…We are laughing his name.

Watch her video here mocking Americans about terrorists, Al Qaeda–the same who killed 3,000 people on 9/11.

This is just one of many instances of her extreme callousness, like where she recently said casually about 9/11, “Some people did something“–that something which was a mass murder terror attack on American soil. 

As we contemplate the hate-mongering of Ilhan Omar, we should think about what Luthern pastor, Martin Niemoller once cautioned: 

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

This isn’t about left and right, but about hatred, bigotry, and racism at the highest levels, and we need to stand together against it. 😉

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

Lunch And A Call

This just seemed like a funny photo to me.

In the cafeteria, someone was checking out at the register. 

And on their lunch/food tray, they had, of course, their lunch. 

But also, they had a big black telephone.

Talking about a working lunch!

Wow, is that customer service or what? lol

This reminded me also of the BIG red phone on some top officials’ desks –always ready for that critical call in case of near world catastrophe.

So here we go Joe… 

I will eat my lunch and am ready for your call at any time. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Bored Meetings

So it’s been raining so much here in the DC area lately.

The result is that the hot Summer July temperatures are down in the cool 70’s and the rain is flooding everywhere. 

When I got in the elevator this morning, someone goes to me:

“Did you see the leak in the hallway?  They are watering the tree with it.”

And sure enough, there it was!

When all this rain finally stops, there is going to be a lot of cleanup and repairs to do. 

The other thing was yesterday, we were on the way to a board meeting in our synagogue. 

In the elevator, are two other people–a man and women–carrying binders.

They say to us:

“Are you going to the board meeting?”

Surprised, because I didn’t recognize them from our synagogue, I respond affirmatively and ask to clarify:

“Oh, you’re going to the board meeting too?  I don’t recall seeing you there before.”

Then the elevator stops and they start to get off–but it’s to a different board meeting for the building.

When they see that we’re going to a different floor, they start laughing:

“I guess we’re going to different board meetings!”

I say:

“Yeah that’s right, different board meetings, but we’ll all probably be bored!

Another laugh by everyone, and we we’re all off to the races. 😉

(Source Photo:  Andy Blumenthal)

Nice Chompers

So this was funny-weird at the dentist. 

The dental hygienist comes in and does the cleaning.

Ultrasonic cleaner, scraping, polishing, flossing, rinse–all sort of routine. 

Next the dentist comes in–looks this side, that side, bite, bite again, looks some more. 

Then sort of out of the blue, the dentist goes to me:

“You got some nice chompers!”

Ah, never quite heard anyone say that before or quite the way this dentist said it.

Uh, a little strange sounding and feeling a little uncomfortable. 

I go out and tell me wife about this weird thing. 

And I start laughing and going…

“Doctor, you got some nice chompers there too!”

Somehow the way I said it, we both cracked up laughing. 

I’ll never think of going to get my teeth cleaned at the dentist quite the same way again. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What’s With The Best Buds?

I never quite understood the best buds t-shirt wave.

This is especially the case when the person is alone and there is no best bud anywhere to be found. 

We are all social animals, and perhaps, we all wish to have a best bud in our lives–someone to “buddy around with” and who knows and understands us, and unconditionally accepts us. 

Best buds seems to almost be able to read each others minds and finish each others sentences…and they laugh hysterically together about these mindless things for which apparently only they get it. 

When best buds are together, it’s like they are almost in a bubble of their own world, and everyone else is on the outside, if they even exist to the buds at all. 

That’s because bests buds are it–they have history, they share things in common, they think alike, and they work in tandem.

It’s like getting two for the price of one: they are Batman and Robbin, Tonto and The Lone Ranger, Cheech and Chong, Laverne and Shirley, Simon and Garfunkel, and so many other couplings that stick together like peanut butter and jelly. 

If you have a best bud then you already know you don’t need to give them a t-shirt to spell it out–the chemistry already says it all. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)