A misfit is someone who doesn’t fit in.
He/she is missing the mark in terms of the thing or group they are trying to fit into.
The opposite of missing the target is hitting the target, hence a “hitfit” (my term)–someone who is in congruence with who he/she is and what they can do well.
At times, we are all misfits–at work, school, places of worship, and even with family and friends–the personality, chemistry, and KSA (knowledge, skills, or abilities) are just not right.
Hence, people miserably fail in one environment or set of circumstance, but yet they thrive in others.
What happens when you’re the misfit?
– You feel like you’ve been relegated to moron status, sitting in a corner or closet somewhere (and now envision the dunce cap on your head).
– Essentailly everyone else seems to be meshing and doing great, but you’re the odd man out. Nothing you seem to do is right, you can’t perform or you just stop trying, and you feel like a worthless sh*t!
But then what happens?
– With courage, determination, and hard work, you pull yourself up by your trousers and you make a significant change in your life–your job, school, community, even your spouse or friends–you’re the shinning star that you always knew or hoped you could be–you’re the hitfit!
I’ve seen this happen again and again with people.
So often people are not “bad,” “stupid,” or “losers”–they are just not in their groove for who they are.
If you give people a chance to find themselves and leverage their strengths,. and strengthen (or challenge) their weaknesses, they can and will do superbly!
None of us are perfect (except G-d)–we are all frail human beings, even the strongest, smartest, fastest, and greatest among us. If you’re put or find yourself in a bad situation–recognize your part in it, but also understand that sometimes it’s just a misfit, and time to make a positive change in life.
Do you research, test the waters, get primed, and find your hitfit and your happiness–you can do it, with G-d’s help, everyone can! 😉
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
The Wall Street Journal reports that in the past employees could expect that “we would bring them in and beat them down a bit.”
But now, managers are expected to “scrap the negative feedback” and “extol staffers strengths” (accentuate the positives).
Companies are realizing that negative feedback does “more harm than good.”
– You tick off the employee and ruin any positive relationship and trust.
– The employee feels unappreciated, hurt, and in jeopardy.
– Employees project their hurt feelings and accuse you of being the problem.
– The deteriorating state makes them fear that you are working against them and they become unmotivated to try to do better.
– Instead, they spend their time working against you (and the company), and looking for another job.
There is an old saying that you don’t sh*t where you eat, and so it is with employee performance evaluations.
In over 25 years, I have never seen negative employees reviews produce positive results!
However, I have seen that sincerely praising everyones’ best efforts, leveraging their strengths, and being thankful for what each person contributes makes a high performing team where people are loyal, want to work, and contribute their best.
Everyone has weaknesses and problems, and frankly most people when they are being honest with themselves, know what their issues are. Pointing their face in it, doesn’t help. (Have you ever told a fat person that they need to lose a few pounds?)
One idea that I did like from the Journal is called “feedforward,” where you ask “employees to suggest ideas for their own improvement for the future.”
This way each person can be introspective and growth as they mature and are ready, but not under threat, rather with support and encouragement. 😉
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)