Keep A Cool Temperament

So this was amazing. 


I was working with someone for a number of weeks/months. 


All of a sudden, I got a complete blow off email from them that said they are done and they wished me well in a sort of very sarcastic and even contemptuous way–like a real f*ck off!

Were they just being nasty or trying to pick a fight or something?


First, I was taken aback and honestly hurt–like what the heck happened that they showed their true strips…did I miss it all along. 


I showed my wife their email, and she read it the same way, and said “What an asshole!”


I continued to hold my mouthpiece and feelings as I contemplated how I would respond. 


I have to admit that some choice words and wishes back to them definitely came to mind. 


But I said to myself, “Hold, hold, hold!”


It wasn’t easy not to respond in kind–lash back out at them–and even then some for good measure. 


No, that isn’t the way. 


You can rise above this. 


I kept my mouth shut and literally controlled my reactions.


Well, lo’ and behold, I thought I would never hear from this person again the way they spoke to me, but then a few days later,  I received another email where apparently they rethought what they did.


It didn’t have to come from me to them to “set them straight!”


Their own conscience seemed to have played on them and they came to their own senses about how they behaved and spoke. 


I learned from this that it is critical to maintain your composure and keep your cool under all circumstances, no matter how trying. 


Don’t stoop to their level–you rise above it!


Sometimes, the other person may just surprise you and rise back up too and do the right thing in the end. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

One Mean Election

trump

Three cheers for one of the worst elections ever.


American politics sinking to new lows.


This poster yesterday plastered all over Washington D.C. 


“Bully Culprit”


Denigrating, bashing, hurting, and humiliating other people whether we like them or not is wrong. 


– What happened to agreeing to disagree?


– What happened to being civil and mannered?


– What happened to “when they go low, we go high”?  


Power is such a motivator. 


Greed, according to the Buddhists is one of the “three poisons,” along with ignorance and hate. 


These lead to evil and suffering and prevent the attainment of enlightenment. 


Desire and wanting something so much that you will do anything for it, thinking you deserve it, and being overconfident that you will get are a weakness of character and leadership. 


Yesterday, Putin said about our election hysteria, “Is America some kind of banana republic?” 


Is this really the type of darkness (and not light) to the world we want to show ourselves as.


We are continuing to go in the wrong direction and away from enlightenment and good–especially when there is so much work for us to still be done. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why Yell And Intimidate The Child?

Child.jpeg

So at the table next to us this morning at breakfast was a mean looking lady and a fidgety young child. 

The lady as we found out over the course of their dialogue was the child’s grandmother. 

And she wouldn’t stop berating this kid, maybe 5-years old. 

Grandmother: “Don’t you dare get up from the table until I’m done with my coffee, [and then this weird chilling] thank you.”

Child: Obviously looking to run around and have some fun, “But I just want to go.”

Grandmother:  Who has finished her breakfast and coffee and is just making a continuing point, “You’ll wait until I’m done, and I say we’re ready, [and again, the long controlling pause and then] thank you.”

Child: “I’m tired.”

Grandmother: “Then you’ll go upstairs, get back into bed and go to sleep, and no tv, just sleep–you will not move!”

Child: Looks up helplessly sad.

Grandmother: Now the truth starts to come out, “You know I don’t like the way you treat you mother. Your disrespectful! And that won’t go with me.”

Child: Appears to not really understand what she is saying and legs dangle anxiously off the chair, but clearly very afraid to get up.

Grandmother: “You’ll learn to be respectful to your mother. You will learn!”

Child: Head leaning sideways on table, says nothing. 

Grandmother: Makes child wait some more and more, and finally, “Now we can go.”

Child: Child picks head up and runs to take her hand. 

Grandmother: Sneers and smirks with her power over the child–she looks like a freakin’ witch. 

Whole scene was sort of heartbreaking. 

My wife and I look at each other, and shake our heads.

This was not teaching or loving, but something else and it wasn’t normal or nice. 

I say, “Perhaps, when a child is abused this way–day after day, year after year–this is why they grow up and then do horrible and hateful things.”

It’s amazing how adults take out their issues on children–and they think it’s legit–but deep down you can see it really isn’t–and the children and society pays for the sins of the adults. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Kardashian Ball-Busters

Balls

So despite the immense beauty, fame, and fortune associated with the Kardashian women…if you are a man, you may want to stay far far far away. 

It seems like in the end, nothing good ever turns out for the Kardashian men–who BTW are often ballplayers and even Olympic athletes. 

Kris’s husbands:

– Robert Kardashian (1st husband) – divorced in 1991 after Kris’s affair and lavish lifestyle spending, remained close friends, and died of esophageal cancer in 2003.

– Bruce Jenner (2nd husband) – divorced in 2014, and revealed “excruciatingly painful” transgender crisis and transformation to Caitlyn Jenner. 

Kim’s husbands: 

– Damon Thomas (1st husband) – Messy divorce in 2004.

– Chris Humphries (2nd husband) – Filed for divorce after 1 year, 7 months and divorce completed in 2013.

– Kanye West (3rd husband) – Marriage issues and divorce rumors abound from frustration over Kim’s weight gain to the two sleeping apart

Chloe’s husband:

Lamar Odom (1st husband) – Signed divorce paper in 2015, and now in coma after drug overdose in brothel

Kourtney’s partner: 

– Scott Disick (Ex partner) – Broke up in 2015 and continues struggling with drugs and alcohol addiction.

What about brother, Rob Kardashian?

– He too is struggling with a weight problem and depression, and is estranged from his family

Anyway, it all starts with Kris Jenner, the controlling family matriarch who has been said to be “testy, demanding, manipulative,” and generally narcissistic.  

And how about the Kardashian daughters–who are they as people?–as they air their freewheeling “have it all” lifestyles on the show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians?

Even though they call it a reality show, maybe the real reality–like for most of humankind–is not so “all that” and glamorous after all? 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Customers Gone Stinkin’ Wild

Shopping
I took this photo yesterday in a Home Goods store. 



This is the aisle for rugs and mats. 



And it is a disaster zone!



I asked the clerk (with the orange apron on) knelling on the floor at the end of the aisle if the customers did this.



And he said, “Oh yes!” and he had to clean it all up. 



My G-d, what gets into people? 



It’s one thing to shop–pick things up and put them down–but throwing everything all over and trashing the place–stuff on the floors and literally left dangling off the shelves. 



And forgetting for a moment what this does to other people’s shopping experience and the potential loss of sales for the store…



How about we think for a moment about the poor guy working in the store to earn a few bucks for his family who now has to go on and his knees to clean up this pigfest? 



Is this really shopping or for some people perhaps it’s is a way of venting their anger by choosing to sh*t on the innocent next guy.



Gee whiz folks–can you have a heart? 😉



(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

You Can Be Nice and Powerful

You Can Be Nice and Powerful

According to the Wall Street Journal, workers “value kindness in their boss” and compassion–this is natural, as we are all human with tests, frailties, and yes, everyone even makes some mistakes (and hopefully they learn from it).

So while there may seem to be a contradiction between being nice and being an effective leader, there really is not.

For example, we can have empathy for people, while still holding them accountable to do a good job through programs like flexible schedules, telework, and other workplace accommodations.

Power in the organization can be wielded by a boss in so many ways, and they don’t even have to eat their spinach to do it.

From what assignments you get, whether you have to work odd hours, to whether you get a good evaluation or even that promotion, for that matter.

Many may be too quick to put on the punching gloves, however.

Sometimes, the boss will laud publicly over some employees, while degrading or shunning others…that sends a message doesn’t it.

Worse is boss that yells, tells someone their ideas are stupid, or glares at someone like they are a moron…that takes someone straight to employment hell.

The email chain is the classic message!

So while power can be wielded, it can also be shielded by appreciating each person for what they can do and their contribution, if sincere and merited.

While employees value a nice boss, this doesn’t mean that we don’t want to be challenged, we do–challenge adds some meaning to our jobs and our day–that’s why 75% would rather work for a high-achieving, but demanding boss than a nice, but ineffective one.

But combine nice and high-achieving into a boss, and I think we will all want to work for such a leader and follow them wherever they go! 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)