Cannibals Love To Have You For Dinner

I love this saying from one of my colleagues in the National Security field about the Middle East:

If you aren’t invited for dinner, you’re likely on the menu!

Oh how true it is. 

It reminds me of a mother-in-law joke my father used to tell about this guy telling his friend:

Yeah, we had my mother-in-law for dinner. And boy was she good!

Anyway, no one can tell a joke like he did. 

Last thing you want to be is on the menu. 😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Oh Deer!

So you really don’t want a deer ending up on the grill of your car. 

Not good for the deer (dead meat!) and not good for your car. 

My daughter and son-in-law just gave me Deer Warning Whistles. 

They are supposed to emit ultrasonic sound waves that warn the deer away. 

Anything that keeps the deer away is welcome in my neck of the woods. 😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Kosher Cheeseburger, Finally

So I’ve never had a cheeseburger. 


I keep kosher. 


And we don’t mix milk and meat together.


Tough watching all the fast food commercials from McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s, and more. 


So lo’ and behold, my surprise when they introduced the kosher cheeseburger.


It uses the Impossible Burger made from plants–and it’s advertised as having more protein, less fat, no cholesterol, and fewer calories than meat. 


So we got two bags of food from Goldberg’s bagels. 


One bag had breakfast with bagels and egg salad. 


The other bag had the kosher cheeseburgers for lunch (after the morning’s activity)


We ate the egg salad bagels and they were good. 


But we were really looking forward to the cheeseburgers. 


Finally, after all these years of waiting…


But what happens, Dossy threw out the garbage from breakfast and…


She accidentally threw out the Impossible Burgers with it. 


So when we got back to the car, salivating for the cheeseburgers…


We look in the front, in the back, in the compartments–and nothing!


It’s gone!  It’s all gone!


No freakin cheeseburger for me. 


Not then, not now, and I’m afraid not ever.  😦


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Life Cycles For Carnivores

I thought this was interesting-funny in terms of the the food life cycles for us carnivores:


For meat, it’s:

“From farm to fork.”


And for seafood, it’s:

“From boat to throat.”


Either way, we end up eating it. 


Just plain hungry or only the strong survive. 


Vegetarians and vegans can ignore this post. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Walmart Ain’t Got Nothing On The Shuk

The Shuk (Marketplace) in Jerusalem is one of the most exciting and affordable shopping experiences. 


Vendor after vendor.


Row after row. 


Items stocked high for the taking and eating.  


From the most delicious foods to Judaica items.


Fresh-baked breads and gooey chocolatey pastries. 


Halvah and baklava!


Fruits and vegetables.


Spices, olives, figs, and dates.


Fish and meat.


Nuts, cheeses, and wines.


Candy, coffee, and slushes.


Hamburgers and falafel. 


Virtually endless. 


Dizzying in a good way from all the people and products.


Like the old times, but anew.


So much life and you never know what you’ll find. 


It’s exciting in a way that big box Walmart will never be. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Chocolate Turkey Delight

So this is the kind of dessert turkey that will sweeten your Thanksgiving dinner.


Gobs and gobs of white, milk, and dark chocolate.


And they actually shaped it all like a turkey.


Sort of cute, but also sort of sugary disgusting, no?


Generally, I’m not a huge fan of eating turkey either.


Maybe when they boil it in oil, and it’s cooked through and through, it actually comes out juicy and not so bad.


But give me a nice piece of beef, and I’ll be your pal forever!


A colleague who was a veterinarian and worked inspecting meat plants overseas told me some things about the cleanliness though that made my skin crawl.


“The cleanliness outside of the U.S. is WAY DIFFERENT than here!”–and not in a good way.


Even in places that do maintain clean facilities and healthy animals, the way that “they make the sausage” sounded so unappetizing.


It made me think of all those PETA and other commercials that show the chickens and other caged birds in those crowded and filthy (and diseased) conditions…even aside from the cruelty, it’s enough to make you cringe.


He said they mash the meat until it’s like just a pink paste that gets shot into the tubes for hot dogs and things like that.


“It looks disgusting!”


Also, they put parts of the animal in that are basically leftover meats from the head and other parts of the animal that did NOT sound desirable at all. 


I’m thinking to myself…FROM THE HEAD.


Uh, no more hot dogs for me, thank you.


I think that I’ll stick with a nice steak or burger or something KOSHER and palatable.


You can have your turkey and your sausage and eat it, but not me! 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Great New Kosher Food In Washington DC

So nice to meet this impressive young Jewish women today, Carly. 


A Sophomore at GW University, who had the brainchild for more and better kosher food options in Washington, D.C. 


Hence, Brooklyn Sandwich Company food truck. 


The kids are lining up for their whole brisket sandwiches on a pretzel bun with broccoli slaw and many other kosher sandwich and soup treats. 


This is awesome opportunity for some terrific kosher food in America’s capital. 


Great job to Carly and Rabbi Yudi Steiner!  😉


(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)