Conflict – Resolution or Escalation

Conflict.jpeg

So I thought this was interesting on the cause of conflict. 


There are four main parts:


1) Deprivation – You believe that someone is depriving you of something you need or want. This could be something physical like money, or an object or it could be inanimate such as love or respect. The feeling of deprivation is anchored in a real or perceived feeling or being deprived of access to resources or the imbalance who has those resources. 


2) Name – You identify the person you feel is causing you this deprivation. 


3) Blame – You blame them for their role in causing you harm. 


4) Claim – You justify the accusation by anchoring it in a claim that the other person has violated some social norm such as taking something that doesn’t belong to them or violating an agreement you have with them and so on. 


As the conflict comes to a head, it is clear that people are feeling hurt, that there is a desire to correct the situation, and that you are going to confront the (perceived) culprit and make your case on why what they are doing is wrong and how it should be resolved. 


If you have the wrong person in the cross-hairs, your justification is weak or you’re not telling the whole story (i.e. maybe you played a part or harmed the other person too), or the person just won’t give you a fair hearing and sincerely work with you to resolve it, then the conflict may escalate from here.  


Usually, it’s best to listen, empathize, negotiate, compromise, try to be reasonable, and resolve the situation at the earliest point possible.


If there is a greater conflict or risk to either party involved, then heels may get dug in and all avenues to resolving it can be open including legal and even all out war. 


Conflict is no game, but in some cases it may be unavoidable–and then the ramifications can be earth shattering. 


What to do when you’re in a conflict situation? Think before you act, and then think again. 


Ultimately, peace is one of the greatest of blessings. 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Can’t Find My Dentures

Dentures
This was a funny sign this morning in the elevator.



Someone found a set of dentures on the table in the lobby!



Uh, what was someone doing taking out their dentures and putting them on a public table in the lobby? 



I remember my beloved Opa (grandfather) who had quite a set of dentures (years ago they couldn’t as readily save people’s teeth as they can today). 



When my sister and I would go over to my Opa and Oma for Shabbat lunch after synagogue, and sometime right before Birchas Hamazon (grace after meals), my grandfather would invariably end up taking out his dentures and we would all laugh together at how silly those things looked. 



But thank G-d for those dentures, beause I don’t know how people would eat solid food or smile a non-gummy smile without them. 



Of course, I hope whoever lost their dentures in the lobby isn’t going crazy searching for them, sees the lost and found sign, and claims them soon. 



Anyway, can you imagine going down to the lobby and seeing someone’s false teeth just laying there randomly on the table or when they go to the front desk to claim their lost dentures, and the person behind the desk says, “Well Sir (or Madam), can you put them in your mouth and prove that they are yours?” 😉



(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Thirsty And Hungry

Moms Drink2
I took this photo today of this funny banner hanging out a thoroughfare window in Washington, D.C.



This big 6 feet banner says “Moms Drink For Free.”



So not sure, is it a special running at the local bar for the holidays or a wish by a bunch of mom’s looking to get toasted?



Now, look carefully to the right, and you can see in the next window the messaging continues and it says “+ Send 1 Pizza.”



So these “moms” are not only thirty but apparently hungry too–they want pizza and brew!



Not sure to what happened to “moms” just being normal mothers and good role models, and not hanging their menu cravings out the window in downtown. 😉



(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Turkey Head

Turkey Head
The new insane fashion statement on Thanksgiving…wearing a turkey on your freakin’ head.

 
This guy is at the beach and stopped for the photo–towel in hand, turkey on head.
 
But lest you think this is just for the beach crowd…
 
A obviously wealthy older couple are having their breakfast at no less than the Ritz Carlton.
 
And yes, they are sitting sipping their lattes and eating their danish WITH turkeys straddling their heads–both of them, facing off at each other!
 
What won’t people do for some attention–to simply get others to look at them.
 
Perhaps to feel alive, relevant, or important in some way. 
 
Sure, there is fun in it too, but also some very mashugana stuff going on out there. 
 
Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving from chilly, but sunny Fort Lauderdale. 😉

A Fat Pill

Swirl
So true story…



This guy at work goes to me today, “Hey, did you get a fat pill?”



I am thinking to myself DID I put on a few pounds…but still how totally rude. 



My colleague must’ve seen me looking at him with some disbelief and irritation that he would say something like that to me. 



Then he gets this look on his face like, oh sh*t {oops that wasn’t what I meant!}



Immediately, he reaches down to the counter in one of our common areas and picks up a Dunkin’ Donut from the box that someone had brought in for Friday munchies. 



He’s holding up the donut to his face mouthing, “A fat pill,” as he takes a big bite engulfing half the donut (or more) in that one mouth shot. 



Well, I never heard of a Donkin’ Donut called a fat pill before…



Probably lucky for someone that is what he was referring to (LOL). 😉



(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Draining Our Life Force

Corporate Agenda
Here’s a photo I snapped of one of the Fantastic Four (superheroes).



He’s telling the evil Galactus, who drains planets of their life’s energy, to “Stop!”



He yells at Galactus, “You have facilitated the Corporate Fascist Agenda long enough.”



I think we all know a Galactus (or two)!



In every company and agency…there are individuals that seem to literally suck the creativity, problem solving, and life force from the bowels of the organization. 



They complain incessantly, make excuses for their lack of support and contribution, erect obstacles to progress, and needlessly put down other people’s ideas and contributions.



These Galactuses facilitate their own or a corporate agenda–to raise their stature, power, and purse.



They can be–almost G-d like figures in the organization that are feared and cowed to–but in the long term it’s counterproductive to enslave humanity to them.



You can be like the Fantastic Four, who recognizes problem people and calls them out for bad behavior–you can be part of changing the culture from a BIG VILIAN negative to a SUPERHERO positive.



It starts, like in the comic–by identifying their personal agendas and bad behaviors and telling them to stop as well as by working with or around them to facilitate progress.



Galactus, you are finished! 😉



(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Yes, Awkward

Awkward
This is a funny (-sad) one for the day.



This book was a New York Times Bestseller!



There is a book, a Kindle edition, a board game, a calendar, and a website to upload your photos.



On Amazon, there are also versions with awkward family holiday and family with pet photos. 



I can’t believe this is for real either. 



Awkward, indeed. 😉