Last night, as Tisha B’Av (the commemoration of the destruction of the first and second Holy Temples in Jerusalem) was nearing conclusion, we watched these beautiful videos of:
1) The singing of Ani Ma’Amin at the Kotel yesterday in 2018. 2) An amazing NCSY kumzitz, including at the beginning, the singing of Kol Berama Nishma/Rachel Mivakah at the Kotel a few years ago in 2015.
“A voice is heard in the Heavens, lamentation, and bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children; she refuseth to be comforted for her children, because they are not. Thus saith the Lord: Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears; for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the LORD; and they shall come back from the land of the enemy. And there is hope for thy future, saith the Lord; and thy children shall return to their own border. “
Both are so beautiful, and we imagined G-d looking down from the Heavens and being moved to rebuild the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and bring his amazing presence closer to us once again on Earth.
Charisma is something that can make or break a career or life.
If you have it, people often flock to you–that means connections, networking, relationships, and support.
If you don’t have it, then kiss your effectiveness and associates goodbye.
According to Elizabeth Holmes in the Wall Street Journal, charisma is about how you look, talk, prep, smile, and get feedback.
At work, for example, Holmes focuses quite a bit on superficial outwardly things like “Look polished, wrinkle-free,” “Make eye contact,” “Master grace under fire,” and more.
And while these are important, they are really also the more superficial of what you can do in term of primarily how you look and comport yourself on the surface.
Holmes does point more substantive things you can do, like ask for honest feedback, so presumably you can improve yourself.
But improvements in the skin deep is nice, but not the essence of charisma.
Yes, no one appreciates someone who comes into the room disheveled, smelly, and like a proverbial turd.
But more important than how one looks, talks and carry’s themselves outwardly is how they actually behave.
Looks are superficial, and word are cheap, but what a person actually does shows what they are really all about as a human being.
Yes, do you need to build confidence by being put together, of course you do.
But to really build respect, trust, influence, inspire, and lead, you need to be a mensch–a decent human being, grounded in virtuous beliefs, who shows they will do the right thing and act at all times with a core integrity.
Charisma means we genuinely care and help others–not that we focus on promoting ourselves by walking around as the high and mighty.
In the end, your charisma, charm, gravitas, presence and effectiveness as a leader is much more about what you do then what you simply look like or spout out.
Be genuinely kind, caring, and giving, and that is a presence that can be sincerely felt and not just ogled over. 😉
So the military got it right when they teach their cadets to stand tall “at attention.”
“Chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.”
The Wall Street Journal (21 August 2013) says that “posture can determine who’s a hero, [and] who’s a wimp.”
Research has shown that striking a power pose raises testosterone levels that is associated with feelings of strength, superiority, social dominance, (and even aggression at elevated levels) and lowers cortisol levels and stress.
Power poses or even just practicing these have been linked with better performance, including interviewing and SAT scores.
Body language or non-verbal communication such as standing erect, leaning forward, placing hands firmly on the table, can project power, presence, confidence, and calmness.
It all ties together where saying the right thing is augmented and synergized by looking the right way, and doing the right thing. 😉
(Source Photo: here with attribution to Official U.S. Navy Imagery)
This is a good video on creating a smart house by a company called SmartThings.
Building on Facebook’s social graph where we are all connected in the social realm, SmartThings has developed the concept of the physical graph, where all things are connected and are programmable.
While most of us still don’t see the real need for our toasters and fridge to be connected to the Internet and wouldn’t pay more for it, SmartThings has some cool ideas that may just yet help the smart home market actually take off.
The obvious–turn on/off lights, fans, and appliances; adjust thermostats, and monitor your home through security cameras over the Internet.
The not so obvious–
– Add a “presence tag” and the home can sense when you arrive/leave and take appropriate action to adjust lights, temperature, security system, and so on.
– Add a open/shut sensor and you can know if you left a door or cabinet open or if someone (like the kids) is getting into the liquor closet or a small child into the cabinet with dangerous cleaners and chemicals.
– Add a “moisture sensor” and you can be alerted to broken water pipes.
– Add a “smart service” and you can notify the plumber about the water emergency at your home.
– Add smart apps by 3rd party developers and you can get notification when there is a severe weather alert and you left the windows open.
– Add “party mode” and you can have the patio lights, blender, music and disco ball going on for some fun.
I like the look of the app they’ve created to control all these things on your Smartphone–simply choosing your location (home, office, etc.), room, and then physical item that you want to remotely monitor or control.
Interestingly, the Wall Street Journal (23 Feb. 2013) take this “smart” concept yet further to where we actually start giving up control to the devices themselves and asks “Is smart [technology] making us dumb?”
Some examples…
– Cars sense when we are tired and attempts to drive for us or they detect we are driving too fast or reckless and notifies our insurance company.
– The scale sees that we put on a few pounds and contacts the personal trainer for an appointment for us or won’t allow us to heat up the pizza when we slide it into the microwave.
– The toothbrush senses that we brushed a little too quick today and urges us to brush a little more.
– The trashcan detects that we did not separate out the recyclables and splashes this embarrassing information on Facebook.
– The washer detects high water usage this month and suggests we hold off on the next load.
The WSJ comes to a distinction between “good smart” and “bad smart,” where good smart gives us more information for better decision-making and the control to execute on it, and bad smart is where you “surrender to the new technology.”
While I agree with Google’s CFO who said “The world is a broken place whose problems…can be solved by technology,” I also believe that “smart design” means that we remain the masters and the technology remains the slave.
Technology is a tool that can help us solve-problems, but we are the problem-solvers and we must learn through trial and error and a maturation process so we can continue to address ever larger and more complex problems.
Giving up control to technology may make sense if we are about to harm ourselves or others–like with having automatic stopping on a car backing out and about to hit a little child–but it doesn’t make sense in directing the personal decisions that we see fit for ourselves.
Sometimes we will be right and other times, very wrong, but that is living, learning, growing, and being human beings accountable for our actions–not being another automaton hooked to the physical graph. 😉
andyblumenthal 