Training Them To Be Like Us

So I saw this in the supermarket. 

This kid was pushing the shopping cart with groceries in it. 

And a little sign at the top that says:

Customer in Training

His mom is nearby with the big shopping cart full of even more groceries. 

It’s interesting how we teach our kids to be just like us and at the same time to be not like us. 

They emulate some things and they reject others.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

But no two apples are the same either. 

Teaching is an important component of parenting and schooling. 

We need to impart important lessons from the past, so children don’t have to recreate the wheel in the present and future. 

But spitting out little clones is not helpful to innovation and the engine of “what’s next.” 

Sometimes, I envision that there is a really big war–maybe World War III–nukes are used and all our bits and bytes are wiped out, and we are thrown back to the Stone Age. 

All the teaching is evaporated in the vapor of the blasts.

All that’s left in what’s in the soul of the remaining. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Ultimate Rejection (Not)

Ok, folks.

This picture is not the message you want to get before Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year and time of judgement). 

We want to see the long hand of G-d come down with love, caring, forgiveness, and blessings!

A flick of the Almighty index finger, definitely not what we want to see or get.  

Worse would be getting the middle finger, of course. 

But I definitely don’t think G-d does that! 

Talking about rejection with a big R. 

To all my family and friends, a most happy, healthy, peaceful, and prosperous New Year!  😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

 

Polarized and Not Going To Take It Anymore

So they say about Washington politics, “if you’re not on offense, then you’re on defense.”

In the polarized mood of the nation, this has never been more true. 

The alt-left and alt-right are stronger than ever and pointing fingers and fists at one another. 

Each side, the ultra -liberals and -conservatives are duking it out over who is is going on the offensive today.

Only to be outmaneuvered the very next day and be placed back on the defensive. 

Who communicated with the Russians today?

Who used their private email today?

Who committed perjury and lied under oath today?

Who was offensive and even violent at rallies and protests today? 

And on and on…

You’re either on offense or your stuck on defense!

And the more polarized and hateful of each other this nation has become, including in the media, the more the outrageous the accusations and the more alternate facts and fake news. 

But what I learned today is that this doesn’t just apply to politics.

Religion is another prime source for discrimination and hate of your fellow man. 

I remember learning that over history, more people have died in wars in the name of religion than for any other reason.

So too today, the “crazy-hard line” ultra religious and the “throw-it-all away” irreligious are just as polarized. 

The religious mock the irreligious as self-haters and atheists and the irreligious make fun of the rightwing religious as abusive and robotic.

Moreover, any disagreement results in insults and loathing over who is morally superior.

Of course, everyone cites sources and authorities to show why their position is the correct one and everyone else is wrong about religion and G-d. 

Attack, defend, attack, defend. 

No wonder nothing is getting constructively done.

No wonder children are confused. 

No wonder those around us laugh at our seeming inability to come together, all as G-d’s wonderful creatures. 

Who will be on the attack today and who will be on defense. 

If only we could have a panini instead of all this anger, hate, extremism, and rejectionist bias toward our fellow man. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Yes, I Mean No

This is a hilarious video of a social experiment.

This girl–a complete stranger–goes up to random guys and asks “Would you have sex with me?”

On the top there is a running counter–thumbs up or down–for how many of these guys say yes or no.

The final count for this girl and the complete strangers is 50-50!

The reactions of the guys who stumble all over themselves ranges from “Are you crazy?” and someone who actually calls the police on her to “Why not?” and “I will definitely have sex with you!” or how about this guy who offered up a middle of the road approach of “Would you like to hang out with us first?”

In a companion video, they reverse the social experiment, and a guy propositions random girls with the same cavalier question.

In 100 cases, he was rejected!

So are women more discriminating? Are they looking for intimacy while men are looking for a physical hookup? Or are men just driven by their chemistry, evolution, and species preservation to procreate far and wide?

While the girl chosen for this experiment is undeniably attractive, given the risk of STDs and AIDS and also broken relationships and even families, you still have to ask yourself are men’s brains fully wired on right? 😉

Needy And You Know It

Some people are so needy–they are almost like children in adult’s clothing, while others are so distant they may as well be living on another planet–they are in there own world.

The Wall Street Journal (15 July 2013) asks why some people seem to demand so much?

It explains that there are three types of people:

1) Secure–these people were raised in a consistently caring and responsive manner and they become warm and loving people themselves able to form healthy balanced relationships–where they can be apart from and together with others and function well in both situations.

2) Avoidant/Dismissive–those who are raised in an environment where neediness was not tolerated and was seen as suffocating, and so they learn to minimize closeness to others–they are distant and detached.

3) Anxious/Needy–People raised in an inconsistent environment, where they got mixed messages about nurturing, and they end up constantly feeling insecure and needy, like they will get drawn in and then rejected again, so they smother other people with their neediness and don’t recognize and respect appropriate boundaries.

This third personality type, who is always needy and ends up pushing away other people, who feel suffocated, reminds me of a funny scene in Woody Allen’s “Annie Hall” where a couple visit the therapist, who asks each of them how often they have sex? The man says, “Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.” But then the woman when asked the same question says, “Constantly. I’d say three times a week.”

Just like people can’t really change their basic sexual needs (men apparently wanting physical intimacy more often then women), so too people can’t change the home life they were raised in–good, bad or indifferent.

Whether people are needy and clingy, aloof and dismissive, or plays between hot and cold, we need to figure out how to care about and love them for whoever they are.

Boundaries are key. Taking some personal space is healthy. Together time and intimacy is critical.

It’s all about finding a balance–where each person has the time and space to be who they are, and then come back to a warm and caring relationship to share, rejuvenate, and laugh and cry together. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Have Some Chutzpah

Nobody likes to get or feel rejected–whether asking someone on a date, applying for a job, coming up with a new idea…you don’t want to get shot down…you want to be appreciated for who are you and what you “bring to the table.”

I used to have a teacher who used to tell his students “nobody appreciates how great you are like your mother does.”

In other words, don’t get overconfident and think your so smart, so good-looking, or so otherwise great–just because you received unconditional love from your parents–who tell you everything you do is so amazing and you are G-d’s greatest gift to mankind–doesn’t mean it’s really true.

So get real about yourself!

Bloomberg BusinessWeek (7 January 2013) had an article about something called “Rejection Therapy”–where for 100 days, this guy–Jia Jiang–“makes at least one preposterous demand everyday” that get him “strange looks, rude comments, and outright dismissal.”

He posts videos of this to his site entresting.com or “Hope from nope.”

Jiang is trying to learn a little chutzpah and determination in the face of rejection–especially for landing some venture capital funding for a social networking app he wants to build.

To teach himself to get out there, try his best, be willing to fall off the horse and get right back up again, Jiang now purposely seeks to get rejected every day–thinking that “Everybody has failures periodically. The people who are generally successful are the ones who bounce right back.”

So he asks random people for crazy things…like a policeman, if he can sit in his/her squad car–just to see what happens and if he gets rejected whether he can brush it off–and generally be strong in the face of (repeated) failure and some accompanying adversity.

It’s a crazy experiment, but one that is getting Jiang noticed–maybe you’ve got to be a little crazy to stand out from the crowd.
In the end, it’s not about rejection, but about trying your best and being willing to take some bruises and bumps along the way to your goals.

The path to success is littered with wounded and even dead bodies–to succeed you’ve got to have some chutzpah–plus a dose of resilience and perseverance–to get out there and try, try again. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)