Pyramid of Emotional Intelligence

I really like this Pyramid of Emotional Intelligence (EI). 


It starts at the bottom with your own personal self-awareness–knowing who you are, including your beliefs, values, priorities, needs, and dreams, and being able to express this. 


Next level is your personal self-control–being able to manage your feelings, control your actions, and cope with challenges and adversity. 


Moving to the social level is then social awareness–having a consciousness and respect of others, their feelings, thoughts, motivations, needs, desires, and rights.


Finally, at the top is relationship management–the ability to actively listen and empathize, assert and influence, be patience and unconditionally accept differences, develop trust, give and take, collaborate, and manage conflict.


Most people work on developing these areas of the EI their whole life, and it is definitely a pyramid worthy of the climb. 😉


(Credit Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

You’re Driving Me Nuts

There is just something so crazy funny about this Simpsons’ painting. 


Homer is mad as h*ll and has Bart by throat!


Bart is screaming for help.


It so funny how art imitates life. 


Where people drive others $%#&^*)* crazy. 


And the other person just wants to wring their freakin’ neck. 


Yeah, this never really happens. 😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

3 Types of Dumping

This was sort of a funny sign:

“No Dumping”


Dumping can refer to at last 3 different types of things and none of them are any good:


1) Dogs – When people are inconsiderate with the animals and they take a “dump” and people don’t clean up after them (leaving the messy stink for you to step in). 


2) Trash – When people throw their trash in the dump or what they consider to be a convenient dumping ground and they make a huge mess of the surroundings (like the used mattress on the side of the road).


3) Emotions – When people dump their emotions and problems on others; they just sort of let it all out and while they may feel better (i.e. a nice catharsis), now you feel like sh*t!


Overall, I can’t think of any good connotation to dumping, so maybe people should stop doing it–dogs, trash, and problems.  😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Having Each Other

So I hurt my back last week. 


Incredibly painful. 


Difficult getting up from sitting or laying position. 


Today, I was trying to walk it off a little.


One of my kids was walking with me taking good care of me. 


We ran into a neighbor. 


She was nice and asked about what happened. 


I told her in brief and said how grateful I was for my daughter taking me for a little walk while I try to heal with G-d’s help. 


She smiled and said how lucky I was (which I acknowledged). 


I asked if she had any kids, thinking that she did. 


But she goes to me:

I have no one!


I was a little surprised that she didn’t have anyone and how she said it. 


I sort of repeated it quizzically. 


She goes:

Well I did have a cat but she was 19 years old and I had to put her down. 


I felt really bad for her, especially since I know she had an operation this last year and is planned for another one coming up. 


I said that we’re her neighbors and friends and that she can call on us whenever she needs someone. 


This whole thing just made me so upset–no one should be so alone. 


I  really pray that G-d has mercy on his children and that no one should be alone and that we should all have caring and loving people around us always. 😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

OFNR Communications Model

This is a useful 4-part communications process (developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg):


1. Observations:  Tell the other person the behavior you observe from them that is making you uncomfortable. 

When I Observe…


2. Feelings:  Explain how the person’s behavior makes you feel (happy, sad, angry, annoyed, excited, worried, scared, hurt, embarrassed, confused)

I feel…


3. Needs: Describe what you need from the other person (physiological, safety, social, esteem, self-actualization)

Because I need…


4. Requests: Ask them specifically what you’d like them to do.

Would you be willing to… 

It’s a way to make your feelings and needs known and ask nicely what you’d like from others. 


This provides a mechanism to give feedback and work with other people without being confrontational, threatening, dictatorial, or nasty. 


When I see you reading my blog, I feel happy, because I need to try to be a good person and good influence in this world. Would you be willing to share my blog with others? 😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal and Colleague from Work)

Sometimes You Just Want To Say…

It funny, sometimes you just want to say…


Exactly what this ladies shirt says. 


My father used to say when certain people were nasty to him, he would just be nice to them.


And when they would still be really nasty to him then imperceptibly, quietly under his breath, he would say “F*** You.”


Ah, maybe not always so imperceptibly. LOL


Sure, we can’t always just come out and say it like this lady does boldly on her shirt.


Maybe it doesn’t help to use expletives, but sometimes some people can be such jerks that just saying it quietly is cathartic and truth-telling. 


Perhaps more important, saying it let’s you know that you still have  a moral compass and personal integrity, even if others around you have seriously compromised on theirs. :-)


(Credit Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)