Relax, It’s Just Sex

Just thought this was a really funny-sad display in the window of this store in Tel Aviv. 

It says:

Relex It’s Just Sex

Forget that Relax is spelled wrong. 

But advertising for sexual items in such a casual way…like it’s sex and what’s the big deal.

Maybe I am old school, where sex actually meant a deep personal relationship and emotional intimacy. 

…Where you partner was also your spouse and best friend.

Now–unfortunately–it’s just sex!

I think as a society that we have lost something here. 

…Something important. 

If it’s just sex, and it’s just with anyone, then what does that leave for us with that someone truly special in our lives? 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Choosing Good Over Vice

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel, called “Choosing Good Over Vice.”

But yet, if everyone would just act out on each other based on their unbridled wants and desires, oy vey what a truly terrible world that would be…From uncontrolled desires for food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, honor, money, power, sex, and more–it seems like everyone has their little secret fetish. Whether it’s coming from their head, their heart, or down below…the key questions is how much can they control themselves.

However, inside us, our soul, like the Ten Commandments in the Holy Ark, guide us so that we aren’t just animals chasing game or tail, but are human beings trying to become angels.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Tag Lines Deliver

Ouch!  How is that for a tag line?

Unlike Your Boyfriend, We Deliver.

That certainly has a sharp bite to it, but you know what?  It works. 

Witty, funny, and maybe even true. 

It’s the old adage that “sex sells.”

That’s a delivery service that I’m sure many would nod their heads to. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

An 80-Year-Old’s Life Philosophy

So today an 80-year-old Algerian man sat our table for the Kiddush lunch after synagogue services. 

And he talked quite a bit about his life philosophy and told me I was a good listener. 🙂

1) TRUE LOVE IS LIKE AN ORANGE:

A man and women that are meant to be together are like two sides of an orange.  With his hands, he showed us putting the two sides together, twisting, and he goes, “You see it just clicks!”

2) WHEN LOVE IS NOT TRUE ITS LIKE TWO BIRDS IN A CAGE:

When a man and woman are not soulmates, maybe they just are meant to be together for a time to have children or make a home temporarily. But then, the birds need to leave the cage, and be free!

3) BURIED TOGETHER:

“When people are soulmates, they are buried together, next to each other. Otherwise, one is buried in Greece and the other in Hawaii, and it makes no difference because they are going their own ways in Heaven.”

4) 80 HERE AND 20 HERE

He pointed to his belly and said, “I’m 80 here.” And then pointed to his groin area, and said, “But I’m 20 here!”

5) WOMEN ONLY UNDER 40:

While he is 80, he claims to be robust in the bedroom, and “will never be with a woman over 40…not a day over!”  He said, “It’s like an old Cadillac!” Moreover, he said, if a woman is “not perfect” and has a scar like from having her appendix out, “forget it!”

6) WRITING, PLAYING GUITAR, AND DANCING:

He said, “I like to write, play guitar and dance.” And with his arms, he makes some swoops like he is on the dance floor having a good time. 

7) PEOPLE ARE LIKE CANDLES:

People are like candles.  The body is like the wax that burns down, but the soul is the flame that always rises up.  In the end, the soul ascends to heaven just like the flame. 

8) INFINITELY STUPID:

He pointed to the yarmulke on top of his head and said:  “You know what that means?  This means that there is no limit to how stupid some people can be!”  

8) YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK:

I asked what he did for a living, and he said “Real estate, Jewelry, and even fashion salons.”  I said, “Wow, you’re very fortunate!”  He said, “No, in life, you make your own luck!”

10) RESPECT ME IF YOU WANT:

“You respect me, and I respect you. But frankly, I don’t care if you respect me or not. You can do what you want, and so will I!” I said, “Ok, see you next week and we’ll talk again.”  He said, “Maybe I will or maybe I won’t talk to you ever again.”

Like his philosophy or not, I never saw an 80-year-old with so much energy, life, and personality. Honestly, there are a lot of people half his age, who act more dead than alive. It was incredible to see this ageless person and hear what that’s like. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal 

How Do I Choose?

So I thought this was an interesting topic for the sermon on Shabbat by Ben Shemony. 

It was about how we are confronted in life with whether to follow our impulses or our values. 

I think there is a lot to this topic…

Some may see it as the little good angel standing over one shoulder and another bad angel standing over the other trying to convince us what to do when it’s decision time.  

Others may be perpetually torn between temptations or pleasures of materialism and the flesh versus of pursuing what you know to be spiritually good and right in this world. 

Either way, as human beings, we are a complex make-up of both body and soul.

Do we give in to temptation and do what feels good–more money, more food, more clothes and jewelry, more houses, cars, and yachts, more vacations, more carnal pleasures from the proverbial “wine, women, and song” or do we pursue the path of spirituality, serving our maker, caring and giving and doing good for others and the world?  

It sounds simple, but our impulses tell us one thing and our values tell us another. 

Are we being selfish or selfless?

Perhaps, too much of anything is bad for us–even too much giving and selflessness–we need to care for ourselves too–we are mortal, we have needs, we have to nourish ourselves, and we need to live. 

But you can’t be a glutton or a slave to your impulses–you can’t take and not give, your can’t indulge until you make yourself sick, or take at the expense of and harm to others.

Like all things in life, there is a need for balance.

Certainly our spirit should guide our animal. 

If and when our animal is dictating to our spirit then we are in real trouble. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Couple Arguing Loudly About Sex and Pregnancy On The DC Metro {Funny}

This couple is arguing loudly in front of everyone on the Metro in Washington, D.C. 

She claims the coming baby is his, and that he needs to take a paternity test. 

He says it’s impossible that it’s his because she’s 3 months pregnant and they haven’t had sex in 5 months!

This goes on and on in a most hilarious and boisterous way, and they even try and involve some of the innocent bystanders on the train. 

Always a show in this crazy town and it’s not just the politics! 😉

(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)

A Sexless Generation

Oy vey, the statistics are not good. 

Sex in America is on the decline (and no, this is not an April fools’ joke)!

Based on this who can argue with President Trump that we need to “Make America Great Again”–and that should include sexual vitality along with military might, economic competitiveness, and social justice.

In the early 1990 and 2000’s , Americans had sex on average about 60 to 65 times a year.

Moreover, for married couples, who are at the high end of the sexual spectrum, this is down from 67 in 1989 to just 56 times a year now.

This is a reduction of 9 , which doesn’t sound like much–however that actually comes to 14% less nookie!

And geez, that’s less than once a week! 😦

What’s weird is that the statistics show that Americans working longer hours and watching more pornography actually is tied to a “busier sex life.”

To me the obvious answer is that people are living too much in a virtual world of loneliness and nothingness. 

And they have lost touch with each other in the real world and have become more selfish and less giving personally and sexually. 

So while some people are busy infighting and infatuated with reading and generating all the fake news these days, it seems like they are missing the real disheartening and unloving American news of the times. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Sexuality Sells Sometimes

So this was the entranceway to a store in Florida. 

As you can see, the center mannequin is set up sitting in not a very modest way for a lady. 

And worse, there is a little boy mannequin situated right next to her. 

It was funny to see people stop to look at this fake sexual scene.

But no amount of sexuality could sell the junk that the store was pushing. 

So strutting your stuff or showing a little skin–or in this case hard plastic–may get the customer’s attention or even in the store.

However, it certainly doesn’t close the deal, although something else here would be better off shut or as my mother-in-law says, “close your yap!” 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Losing All Political Perspective

So here we go again into our politicians pants to uncover every locker-room lewd remark they have made. 

Yes, it’s abhorrent and criminal for our politicians, religious leaders, coaches or anyone for that matter to rape or inappropriately sexually touch someone else against their will. 

The problem is that we are losing all common sense and perspective. 

When we are focusing almost exclusively at this point on getting that next verbal sexual gotcha on a hot mic from people running for office, instead of on what they’ve actually done (good and bad) in their lives, then we are being lead astray by powerful elites fighting for and to keep the power they most greedily worship.

Words do have meaning, don’t get me wrong, especially when we hurt someone with them or when they demonstrate true moral lapses in the person.

But when words are taken out of context, exaggerated, or dug up from decades ago just to sling dirt then we have a powerful political machine that is working to hurt and not help our political process. 

What’s even worse is that we are becoming the laughing stock in the world in the process of the mud fest. 

An article yesterday in China mocks the chaotic U.S. political system as a highly flawed “political show.”

If we and the media remain gripped in people’s political pants here, then the real and potentially catastrophic issues will continue to not be on the table or our lips. 

The effect is that rather than being able to effect positive change at home and in the world, we are heads down in the sand, as for example:

– Russia deploys nuclear-capable missiles on Poland’s (and NATO’s) doorstep

– ISIS continues it’s global reign of terror and remains strong and determined

– War crimes are being committed and “red lines” crossed daily in Syria

– Iran and North Korea continue their nuclear hated-filled march on the U.S. and western allies

– Bioterrorism is an increasingly dangerous threat as agents are “relatively inexpensive, easy to produce, conceal and transport” 

– Cyberwarfare is now being considered an existential threat, even as our democratic elections themselves are under attack by the latests hacks from Guccifer 2.0 and DC Leaks. 

– Our national debt has increased $9 trillion (almost doubled) in the last 8 years and is threatening key pillars of our social entitlement system, including social security and medicare. 

– The global economy is on the rocks as the impact from easy credit sputters and future growth is stunted.

As these and other risks increase to the U.S., our leadership remains in a narcissistic fugue with their desire for power and sham legacies, and politics have become grotesquely about killing off the opposition by actual death or by a thousand cuts of verbal mutilation.  

Sex sells and has us mesmerized, but we are missing out on all the real world drama, danger, and any meaningful dialogue. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Love ’em OR Leave ’em

An age old question, “Love ’em or leave ’em?”

I heard one young man say, “I love her…but I’m not in love with her.”

So what’s the difference?

He’s been seeing two girls, one is steady and stable, earns a good income, and is head over heels for him–when he is sick, she makes the chicken soup. 

Then there is this other girl, foreign, cool accent, good-looking, intelligent, has similar interests, but no serious income–however, there is some serious hots there. 

What do you do?

Girl #1 or #2.

Who’s the better bet–Ms. I love her or Gal I’m in love with her?

One women said that years ago, mothers would tell their daughters, “If they bring home a paycheck and look better than a baboon, marry them!”

Back then, marriages were often arranged by the parents or the village elders (“Matchmaker matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch…”).

These days, there is much more a sense of the need for compatibility, chemistry, and passion–I can’t live without him/her.

Without the mutual respect and passion, it might as well be in the bedroom like, “Let’s just get this over with” or something pathetic like that.  

In some ultra religious circles, I’ve heard some women sadly simply referred to as “baby machines.”

Yet on the flip side, I remember hearing this story when I was young about this famous model (it could have been about Bo Derek, but I can’t remember for sure), and they interviewed her husband who was known to have married her for her unbelievable gorgeous looks, and they asked him, “What would you do, if she had a terrible car accident, and was horribly disfigured?” And his cold, hard response was, “I would leave her!”

Ok, so looks are skin deep, and passion is important but doesn’t replace shared values, genuine commitment, and selfless giving to one another. 

Maybe the answer is it’s not 1 or 2, but 1 and 2–we need someone that will make the chicken soup when we are sick, but who we also find hot in the sack. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)