Love ’em OR Leave ’em

An age old question, “Love ’em or leave ’em?”

I heard one young man say, “I love her…but I’m not in love with her.”

So what’s the difference?

He’s been seeing two girls, one is steady and stable, earns a good income, and is head over heels for him–when he is sick, she makes the chicken soup. 

Then there is this other girl, foreign, cool accent, good-looking, intelligent, has similar interests, but no serious income–however, there is some serious hots there. 

What do you do?

Girl #1 or #2.

Who’s the better bet–Ms. I love her or Gal I’m in love with her?

One women said that years ago, mothers would tell their daughters, “If they bring home a paycheck and look better than a baboon, marry them!”

Back then, marriages were often arranged by the parents or the village elders (“Matchmaker matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch…”).

These days, there is much more a sense of the need for compatibility, chemistry, and passion–I can’t live without him/her.

Without the mutual respect and passion, it might as well be in the bedroom like, “Let’s just get this over with” or something pathetic like that.  

In some ultra religious circles, I’ve heard some women sadly simply referred to as “baby machines.”

Yet on the flip side, I remember hearing this story when I was young about this famous model (it could have been about Bo Derek, but I can’t remember for sure), and they interviewed her husband who was known to have married her for her unbelievable gorgeous looks, and they asked him, “What would you do, if she had a terrible car accident, and was horribly disfigured?” And his cold, hard response was, “I would leave her!”

Ok, so looks are skin deep, and passion is important but doesn’t replace shared values, genuine commitment, and selfless giving to one another. 

Maybe the answer is it’s not 1 or 2, but 1 and 2–we need someone that will make the chicken soup when we are sick, but who we also find hot in the sack. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

It’s Not About The Regrets

So a teacher recently gave her students a scenario with the following moral dilemma:

An important and talented surgeon who has saved many lives in the past and will surely save many more in the future runs across an old man who has slipped and fallen under the cracking ice into a lake after trying unsuccessfully to save his puppy from drowning.  

The old man is trapped and will freeze to death in short order.

Should the surgeon walk across the breaking ice and risk his own life to try and save the old man?

The vast majority of students’ responded…that the surgeon should try and save the old man.

When asked why they thought that, most said because otherwise he would feel guilty afterwards. 

Thinking about that it seems like a funny reason to do something dangerous, heroic, and maybe utterly stupid…so as not to feel guilty. 

I guess that I would’ve thought people who would advocate for trying to save the old man would say something like

– Every life is valuable!

– Saving one person is like saving the world.

– Helping people even at our own risk or peril is what we do for our fellow human beings.

– We would want others to help us if we were in trouble, so we should do that for them. 

While we can’t judge someone else for how they react in situations of genuine moral conflict, we can teach the younger generation that doing something good for others is about more than just not feeling bad or guilty afterwards (for being lazy, selfish, or making the wrong call in the situation).

Making moral judgements is about choosing in every situation to try your best to do what’s right, help people, be a good influence, take responsibility, and generally act selflessly, but not recklessly. 

Regret stinks (and can be truly painful), but missing opportunities to live a good, meaningful life is much worse. 😉

(Source Photo: The Blumenthals)

Extra Special Delivery

I took this photo in Washington D.C. of a bicycle messenger delivery with Valentines Day treats.

He was carrying an assortment of balloons and gifts (those are hiding in the basket under the balloons)!

What do you think chocolate, flowers, or something even more romantic?

There is enough hate and hostility in the world. 

It’s wonderful when love is in the air and people show each other that they really care. 

Going home from a day at work, and what can be nicer than someone waiting for you when you get there. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)