Pool Poop Galore

So I was at the pool going swimming, doing my laps.  


It was very busy there with lots of people of all ages. 


All of a sudden, I hear some screaming. 


Then the guards come over and tell people they have to get out of the pool, pronto!


There’s been an accident. 


No, not someone getting hurt.


Someone had a bathroom accident in the pool.


The director of the pool is going around explaining to the inconvenienced swimmers that:

“Someone pooped in the pool.”


Not exactly an eloquent way to say it, but it gets the point across. 

What is worse, it was on the side of the pool where the adults were swimming!


Next come the lifeguards with the nets and they are literally scooping swathes of this sh*t out of the pool. 


I see it literally spans almost a half length of this olympic pool. 


What a crappin’ mess. 


Luckily I got almost all my swim in–yes, I am dedicated!


And then took a long hot shower with tons and tons of soap. 😉


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why Only Two, Daddy?

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called, “Why Only Two Daddy?”

The father goes on to explain that these are the commandments that G-d gave to the Jews (when they were redeemed from slavery in Egypt). He enumerates just two examples: keeping the Shabbat and honoring your mother and father. The son asks, ‘What are the other commandments?’ The father hesitates either not knowing any of the other commandments or simply unable to remember any more of them on the spot. And all of a sudden, the little boy starts wailing to his father: ‘Daddy, why do you know only two, why?’


Knowing the Torah and commandments is not only for ourselves to do what’s rights, but also to pass on the torch to the next generation. It’s not always easy to be good examples, but it’s the challenge we all face. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Fire Alarm, Now What?

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel, called “Shabbat Menucha.” 

Friday night–the start of the Shabbat–oh, thank G-d we made it (and TGIF). Usually such a wonderful time to catch up on some extra sleep from the whole week of work. But last night it’s different…the fire alarm suddenly comes alive and the voice over the loud speaker tells everyone to exit the building immediately. It is 1:00 AM in the morning.

Carrying a head cold, medicated, and sleepless, this is what happened to me.  😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Take Off Those Shoes

So this was pretty funny. 


We have a sign in our house that people should take off their shoes when they come in. 


Heck, it’s part of being a neat freak and somewhat germaphobic.


But of course, the kids invariably don’t follow the house rules and we get the shoe dirt all over. 


And guess who has to always clean it up?  


Well the other day, my daughter was looking to purchase a condo, and when she found a place she liked, she was walking around the apartment and saying:

When I have my own place, everyone is going to take off their shoes.


Hmm, when the place is yours and you have to clean up the messes, all of a sudden the house rules are in effect and big time.  😉


(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Celebrating Chanukah At Ulpan

It was so nice tonight at Ulpan. 


Morah Degani had a special night planned for us tonight to celebrate Chanukah. 


She called me up to light the candles for the 3rd night and recite the blessing. 


Then she played Chanukah songs and we sang along to the Hebrew words on the screen. 


We later read and talked about the story of Chanukah and all the meaning and significance of it for having freedom of religion/worship and to maintain our religion and not assimilate. 


It was a beautiful way to learn and practice our Hebrew. 


Happy 3rd night of Chanukah! 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

News – Real and Imagined

I thought this was a funny Dilbert comic that a colleague had by their office. 

News–My Brain Hurts.


It’s not only the 24/7/365 news cycle that make it often extremely repetitive and monotonous–where “breaking news” is the same news from 5 hours ago-sometimes even from 5 days ago. Ho hum, boring. 


But it’s also the forced news, where there always has to be a story even when there isn’t one worth taking about. Every reporter has to earn their keep too. Oh no, not another cat rescue from a backyard tree! 


Hey, in the end its ratings–that drives advertising, which of course pays the bills, so don’t hold your breath as to how long we can continue to talk about the 2016 election, the Kavanaugh hearings, the Mueller Investigation, and so on. It’s the news gifts that keep on giving and giving. 


Sometimes, it’s about getting different angles on a story–however, more often it seems like just the same old, same old–how many ways can you say, he did it or he didn’t do it?


Then there is the fake news and alternative facts, where if there isn’t a story (or one that supports the sponsor’s world filter), then maybe–just maybe–we need to create one and get people unsettled or use it for social control (remember the “Echo Chamber”). And for sure, let’s not forget the power of a good conspiracy theory! People certainly are gullible, right? 


This all reminds me of a famous saying by Lenin:

There are decades when nothing happens, and there are weeks when decades happen.


In some ways maybe it was better to just have the morning and nightly news without all the B.S. in between, because…there are decades when nothing consequential happens. 


I guess we all just are waiting around for the weeks when decades happen, but when that sh*t hits the fan, who says there will even be any news to be had. 


No wonder, Dilbert says his brain hurts–doesn’t yours? 😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Window and The Mirror

Thought this was a wonderful story on our perspectives in life. 


And how money can corrupt our vision of what is truly important. 


This is the story:


A rich man became ill. 


He looked out the window and saw his old friend who was a poor man. 


The rich, sick man invited the poor man, his friend into his house.


After talking awhile, the rich man asked the poor man to tell him what he sees. 


The poor man told the rich man to go over to the window and asked:

What do you see?


The rich man said:

I see men, women and children in the street. 


Then the poor man took the rich man over the mirror and asked him:

Now what do you see?


The rich man taken aback for a moment, said:

I see myself.


The poor man says:

Ah, that is the difference. Both the window and the mirror are both made out of glass. But when you look into them, you see different things. The window is just plain glass.  But the mirror is glass covered in silver. When we look through just the glass, we see others!  But when we look through the glass tainted with a coating of silver (i.e. money), we only see ourselves.


Wow! Think about it a moment. Shabbat Shalom!  😉


(Story adapted from Bishvil Ha-Ivrit)


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)