Forgot To Bring Blood

So I go for some blood work today.

Lady pokes my arm, and nothing comes out. 

She moves the point of the needle around and around– still no blood. 

 

She says: “Hey, it’s your fault!”

I say: 

You’re right, no one told me that I was supposed to bring blood with me today. 

She looks up and says, “Okay let’s try the other arm!”

Then she spanks the arm…and I blurt out laughing, “hey do that again!”

Then poke, poke, and the blood easily fills a half dozen tubes.

She’s said, “You see that worked!”

I said:

I only brought blood in my right arm today!

If I could read her mind: “Ok, get the F*** out of the office.”

But she was nice and actually says, “You can get your results in about 3 days.”  😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lifeguard Needs A Lifeguard

So I thought this was a funny story the lifeguard told me.

The guards are required to renew their lifeguard certification every two years. 

When I asked if he swims, he said “not regularly” and then when I asked if he exercises, he said half-jokingly: “I sleep, eat, and drink!”

But then he told me about the lifeguard exam and a couple of people who should’ve never been taking the test. 

One lady gets waist deep into the pool, and the proctor tells the lady to swim to the other side of the pool and back. Instead of swimming, she starts crying hysterically that she doesn’t know how to swim!

Another guy was swimming funny with his arms flailing and his butt out of the water. When the proctor asked him what was up with that and to show him what was hiding under his trunks, the guy showed him that he was wearing an inflatable plastic band under his pants. 

Fail, fail, fail–these are life endangering guards, NOT “lifeguards!”  😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Breaking The Bounds Of This World Thinking

Coming from the Metro, someone stopped me and gave me this card for meditation, and I thought it was really insightful. 

“Changing the human mind to infinite universe mind”

Our minds are constrained by our mortality, materialism, and physical limitations of space and time. 

But if we free ourselves even momentarily from these, we can enter into a sort of limitless universal mindset.

“Human is incomplete because human are living inside human mind world which is one’s lived life and thoughts.”

We are beset by a near endless barrage of life’s fears and worries–like that we can’t fully perceive the metaphysical and spiritual world that is the real and meaningful one for us. 

“One can live forever and [when] he has escaped pain, burden, stress, and the countless kinds of agonies; his old self has disappeared and so it is great freedom.”

Through mindfulness, centered and balanced thinking, we can go above the “false world” and enter the “true world.”

Doesn’t this ring fundamental and true?

What an amazing approach to thinking that we can use elevate ourselves above what we live and see every day. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal via Rockville Meditation)

613 Calories

So today I tested out a hypothesis about seeing 613. 

I tried to do it intentionally. 

I was getting my activity, and lo and behold, I see that I am at 612 calories burned so far. 

Oh, how cool–I can capture 613 in a another second or two. 

And I continue my activity looking intently at the Apple Watch monitor. 

Okay, 613 now!

No, now!

How about now? 

But it doesn’t come. 

I am waiting for it.

It can’t come on my terms.

Next thing I know, the calorie counter jumps from 612 to 616.

I can’t believe it. 

I couldn’t capture the 613 when I wanted to. 

Every other time so far has been–we’ll it’s just been. 

And maybe that’s the whole point. 😉

(Source Photo: Rebecca Blumenthal)

Honesty, A Great Policy

So I went to the Podiatrist today for some routine maintenance. 

This was a new doctor for me, and I was going in with a healthy dose of skepticism (until I know the person is good and trustworthy). 

Well after the doctor does all these things, I test the waters and ask him, “So how often should I come back to see you every 6 months or more often or what?”

Here’s his opportunity to put money ahead of really caring about the patient and to say to come often and more frequently so they can make more patient visits and more money.

But instead he pleasantly surprised me and goes, “Well let’s see how your doing and take it from there.”

I loved it–some genuine honesty and not just business and a money-making racket. 

Now, I really do plan to go back to this doctor regularly, because I trust him. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Homeless At Foggy Bottom

The homeless situation in Washington D.C. (as in other big cities in the U.S.) is horrible and tragic. 

 

The homeless person here is wrapped in a blanket trying to stay warm on her wheelchair. 

 

Further, her bucket, at her feet, for people to give is empty. 

 

The Thanksgiving holiday is this week, but where is the thanks and where is the giving?

 

Interesting…halfway down the block is GW Hospital and across the street behind this lady is a gorgeous, modern, brand new GW University engineering and science building (almost completed now). 

 

The haves, the have mores, and the have nots. 

 

Where are all the trillions of dollars of spending going..,that we can’t feed, clothe, shelter, and educate our people. 

 

We need to do better as a society for providing care for the truly needy.

 

G-d is watching what we do and what we don’t do.

 

Our test, and the test of our elected officials/leadership–will we/they stand up for those that can’t? 

 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Hospital Wake Up Call

So recently, I was in the hospital for something. 

G-d, I hate hospitals, but this time something was going on and I knew I had to go. 

I admire all the doctors, nurses, and other health professionals that work there helping people–it is definitely not an easy job.

I watched the other patients–on gurneys, in wheelchairs, laying in the hospital beds, and getting various procedures–and it is eye-opening. 

Many people, who are otherwise strong and able-bodied, are reduced to needing help with feeding, going to the bathroom, getting around, and some even just turning over in bed.

I watched the people out of their everyday clothes and forced into hospital gowns–one of the most awful things in terms of our human modesty and dignity.

Then there is the need to have to ask for everything and being reduced to poking, prodding, and vitals checkups at all hours of the day and night. 

In one case, they even woke someone up to give them a sleeping pill, true. 

Also, when you have to share a room with a stranger with their own various ailments, the quiet time and the privacy to deal with your issues is even less. 

Hospital are not a great place for getting rest or for feeling confidant in your abilities–let’s face it, you’re confronting very helplessness itself.

In these circumstances, I found myself getting down about the circumstances and my wife, G-d bless her, said something really smart to me. 

She said, “You are better than this,” and I looked up at her feeling physically lousey and emotionally spent, and she repeated, “You are better than this.”

I stopped to not just hear what she was saying, but to really listen–and it was amazing. 

She was right, there was nothing to feel bad about. I needed to have faith and believe that all was for the best, and that I was stronger than this test. 

A short time has passed, but I will never forget my wife’s words to me–she gave me a great gift and I will always be grateful what she did for me. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)