There is Meaning

Please read my new blog at The Times of Israel called, “Is It Really All In Vain?“

On Sukkot, we read Megillat Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) about “vanity of vanities; all is vanity”–everything is temporal in this world and seems meaningless. Yet in what we perceive as meaningless, there is truly so much meaning when we understand the bigger picture of what is happening to us and perhaps why.

G-d works in mysterious ways and bad things can and do turn into good things too. 😉

(Source Photo of Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

I Doth Fear

Innocent Shakespeare in the Park or violent assassination incitement of the President of the United States? 

Kathy Griffin holding up a severed head of the President.

Stephen Colbert’s tirade and obscenities.

And the list goes on and on…

Is this resistance or are things perhaps going too far for political discourse? 

Whatever your views, does the rhetoric need to get any hotter or more violent in this country. 

Cooler heads and compromise need to prevail for anything positive to come from all this.

Is it not still possible to unite under the shared values of freedom, human rights, and democracy that we all presumably hold dear and use these to advance our common cause? 

At least twice now protesters have stormed the Shakespearean stage calling the incitement as an evil portrayal reminiscent of those like Nazi Propaganda Minister, Goebbels (may his name and memory be erased).

The other side pretends nothing is going on and says, but it’s only Shakespeare. 

Demonstrating against the actors’ nightly violent portraying (and perhaps undisguised wishing for) the killing of the President, the plays’ protesters are themselves summarily dragged off by security.

Nothing seems to stop the shrill words, calls for violence, and violence itself. 

Just last week, we had the unreal and gross shooting of Congressman Whip, Steve Scalise, at an early morning baseball practice with his colleagues. 

For those who care to glimpse down the road, what happens from here as we seem to forget who we are as people and as a nation, and we let extremists take over the agenda.

I doth fear (a little Shakespeare myself here) that the problem with extremism and violence is that it can too easily beget more extremism and violence.

Incessant name-calling, an avalanche of punches by the media, hostility on college campuses towards free speech, SNL just poking fun (is this really so funny anymore), an inciting Shakespearean play, plus marches, protests, and then taking things too far.

Like the closing in a classic Shakespearean tragedy…should we all not fear how this will end? 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal) 

Dysfunction Is The Starting Point

A very smart speech today in synagogue by Rabbi Haim Ovadia. 

He connected to this week’s reading from Genesis in the Torah.

It was a commentary about our forefathers and mothers and what the stories in the Bible teach us. 

As we know, these people while righteous and holy, were not perfect people or families. 

Thinking about these, some examples that come to mind about the many tests, challenges, and tragedies in their lives:

– Adam and Eve eating the forbidden apple in the Garden of Eden

– Noah getting drunk and his son, Ham, seeing his nakedness and telling his brothers

– Abraham and Sarah’s doubting (i.e. laughing) that G-d would give them a child

– Isaac lying to Avimelech about Rivkah being his sister (similar to what Abraham said about Sarah)

 – Jacob buying the birthright and stealing the blessing from Esau

– Shimon and Levi killing the people of Shechem for Hamor raping their sister

– Joseph’s brothers being jealous of him and throwing him in the pit and selling him into slavery

– Judah sleeping with Tamer, the wife of his firstborn 

And so on. 

Rabbi Ovadia said we should keep 4 things in mind about the Biblical figures and families to learn for our own:

1) Context – There is a context to what we do. We all have histories that involve difficulties, challenges, illness, abuse, PTSD, and so on.  The things we do and how we react later in life are anchored in this context. 

2) Dysfunction – Every family (and I would add person, organization, and institution) is dysfunctional.  There is no perfection out there (except G-d). Functional would mean like a computer, we input-process-output towards a certain function.  However, as people, we are not automatons, but instead work out our dysfunction through our striving to love, have relationships, learn and grow. 

3) Responsibility – Whatever our challenges and dysfunctions, we are responsible for what we do–our actions.  We can’t just blame history or others.  Our role is to face up to our lot in life and take responsibility for what we do.  It our life and circumstances to make or break us. 

4) Communication – In dealing with life and it’s challenges, communication is key to dealing with things. I would argue that communication is just a part of many critical success factors like trust, determination, hard work, emotional intelligence, being giving, integrity, etc.  But certainly, communication is a key aspect in how we work out our issues with others and try to build function from inherent dysfunction. 

The honestly of the Bible in telling us the flaws of it’s heroes and heroines–our ancestors–is one of the things that make it such a source of wisdom for us as well as demonstrating the truthfulness of it being G-d given to us.

The bible doesn’t sugarcoat who we are and what we have to deal with–it is the Book of G-d that is a roadmap for us to learn from and do good with in our own lives. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Cancer Takes It Away

This is an amazing video.

It is about the life of Angelo and Jennifer Merendino.

Initially, they a lived a fairy tale life, until she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

You can see in the video the brutal transformation Jennifer underwent from the disease.

Yet, the love and togetherness this couple maintained is inspiring.

A link with photos of this couple’s battle with cancer is here.

Jennifer died on December 22, 2011 at the young age of 40.

Angelo, a NY photographer compiled their painstaking journey in a book called The Battle We Didn’t Choose available at their website My Wife’s Fight With Breast Cancer.

It is difficult to look at the pictures of Jennifer’s illness and deterioration, especially when marked in contrast to her husband throughout.

The numerous personal pictures makes me feel a little uncomfortable, even as I believe, they are meant to be educational and giving–with 1/2 the proceeds from the book’s profits to be going to a non-profit for breast cancer victims.

The story is very tragic, yet too often repeated throughout society…some may be able to find hope in it, and to appreciate what we have, when we have it.

>What I Learned From A Beggar and A Disabled Man

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This week I was riding home on the metro one day and I witnessed this strange course of events.

Typically, on the DC metro, there is not a lot of panhandling when compared with a city like NY—in fact, it is practically a rarity on the Washington, DC Metro.

So you can sort of image my surprise, when I entered the metro this week and immediately hear a young man begging for money (i.e. “a beggar”) coming down one end of the train car.

What made this particular panhandling scene really stand out though was that the beggar, who appeared young and able bodied, had a serious speech impairment. He kept trying to say something to the effect that he was homeless and needed $16 for a bed to sleep in that night. But he was mumbling, stuttering, and barely able to get the words out, but clearly he needed help and people on the train were giving him money, especially one young family, where the father put some bills into his daughter’s hand who reached out to the beggar, who gratefully grabbed the money and continued trying to repeat the words that seemed stuck in his mouth.

Then, things turned stranger, because there was another young man in a wheelchair with his back to me—so that I could not see what was wrong with him. And all of a sudden this disabled person starts yelling at the beggar to “speak up, get it out, and tell me what’s wrong” – again and again in this horrendous mocking way to the beggar who could barely speak.

The beggar kept trying to get the words out that he was homeless and needed $16 for a bed for the night—but he struggled again and again—mumbling and falling all over himself trying ask for help. And no matter how hard he tried; the disabled man in the wheelchair kept taunting him—as if holding out a bone in front of a dog, but never letting him get any. If the beggar couldn’t speak clearly and ask for the money, the disabled man wasn’t going to give him any and on top of it was going to shame him even more than he already was in front of the crowded train car.

It was devastating to watch; yet everyone did. Somehow, no one could say anything to the disabled man about his behavior—because he was disabled.

After the beggar made it past the wheelchair, staring at the man who mocked him, and made it down to the other end of the car, the beggar turned around one last time, looked at the disabled man in disbelief—like how of all people could you do this to me—and left the train.

At that point, the man in the wheelchair turned his chair and I saw he had only one leg. And he was angry. Obviously angry at the world for his loss and pain and determined to let loose on whomever crossed his path, even a speech-impaired beggar.

I thought about this human tragedy during and long after, and am still obviously thinking about it.

I suppose I expect to find situations where the strong prey on the weak—that’s like Darwin’s theory of the “survival of the fittest”, but I was taken aback by seeing one person down on their luck “getting it” from someone else who was also in pain and suffering. Somehow, I guess I just thought—maybe naively—that someone who knew “how it felt” would have more mercy on someone else in similar shoes.

I come away with a life lesson about leadership and management that for those fortunate enough to achieve these positions, you should never take them for granted. They are not an entitlement because of hard work, education, or other achievements; rather these positions are a privilege, and this teaches me that you should never look down on others or rise up on the backs of others. Each person, each life in this world is valuable. And every person deserves respect and should give respect—whether they are begging and speech-impaired or disabled and missing a leg. We all need to have mercy on one another. The world can be a harsh place indeed.