Not A Kiss

 

So I learned a lesson recently.


Sometimes, a kiss is not a kiss. 


It could be a phony show. 


Like a snake. 


It slithers and fools people into complacency. 


Kiss kiss!


Hug hug!


But around the back is a hand holding a dangerous dagger. 


It stands ready to swing and plunge into your soft unsuspecting tissue. 


The more kisses, perhaps the more hiding of their true intentions. 


People are complex and sometimes malevolent. 


They want what they want, and when they want it. 


When the time comes, a kiss can turn into a sharp knife. 


You wonder how is it that person has no more kisses.  😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Is It I Don’t or I Do?

Love.jpeg

Wow this was tough…


I was at a luncheon with some friends, including a couple we’re friendly with that’s been dating a while.  


At one point, the young man gets up to get some more food, and the young lady all of a sudden asks me, “Do you still live around here?”


I said “Yes, not far from here,” and in turn asked whether she was still living in {blankty blank neighborhood}.


She said, “Yes, {and continues sort of out of the blue} and we’re not going to live together until we get married.”


I was sort of surprised at the turn that her answer took about their relationship, and innocently asked, “So does that mean you guys are planning on marriage then?”


Just then the man comes back and I must’ve been reading the tea leaves {and the ominous music for the laying of the trap starts playing in my head}…


Immediately, the young lady says to him before he even sits back down, “He’s asking if we’re getting married {and for some reason she’s literally pointing at me or am I imaging that finger like a dagger coming out}!”


At this point, I think my eyes started to bug out a little as I must’ve had this look on my face like what the heck is going on here. 


But if this isn’t going bad enough {what in G-d’s name did I walk into with this?)…


This older lady across the table, starts blurting out loudly saying, “How would you like if she ends up with another guy?!!!”


Holy sh*t {where is that coming from now?)!


The guy next to me is obviously at the point of fury {I can’t say that I fully blame him}, and he packs up his stuff and sort of storms off from the table.


The young women is still there trying to make conversation as if this whole thing just somehow didn’t happen. 


But it did and it was pretty ugly!


The older lady {not stopping–this is madness} then chimes in again and says, “Look at what he did, he stormed off–if I were you, I would just drop him!”


We’re all sort of sitting there in complete shock now. 


Pulling for a straw to somehow make this scene go away, I ask the young lady, “Should I go out and see if I can speak with him?”


She’s shakes her head and says, “No. We’re almost done {done–in what way…?}!”


Within a couple of minutes, we excused ourselves and headed out–sort of not believing how this whole scene went down. 


One thing I can tell you is do not get ANYWHERE near people and their relationships–there are a whirlwind of just under the surface feelings, agendas, and finger-pointing ready to take flight and eradicate everything in the vicinity of ground zero. 


Anyway, I hope everything works out okay for this couple…they actually do seem really nice together.  😉


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Synagogue Time

Time Change

So this is an interesting new phenomenon with synagogue. 


Usually, we like to go a little later so that basically we are there for about an hour and a half of services. 


That’s about my attention span and then I start to get claustrophobic and antsy. 


(BTW, some friends that go to Church told me that they have the same experience.)


But the last two weeks something changed…(no, not me). 


Last week in Maryland, we went to synagogue and the people were standing in front with the Ark open and I thought wow they are way ahead and are finished with Torah reading and are putting the Torahs away already. 


But after a moment, I realized they were only just taking out the Torahs for the weekly reading, and we were actually earlier than usual. 


When I inquired in synagogue why they were behind schedule, I learned that to get people there for more of the services, they had decided to start later. 


Ah, it’s a trick!


This week in Florida, I went to the Chabad shule and we were running late (hey, it’s vacation) about 10:45 and thought shule would almost be over, but they were just in the morning prayers still, and there wasn’t even a minyan yet.  


Two places, two synagogues, two weeks and they are changing the start times…


Seems smart from their perspective to try and get people there and for more of the services, but for the people who just want to come for a certain amount or parts of the service, isn’t this just going to cause people to come even later in an endless cat and mouse game. 


Start later, come later, start later, come later…


I’m no Rabbi, but how about a serious focused service–ONE solid hour (plus)–full of REAL kavanah (concentration), meaning, and sincerity, and everyone comes on time?


Start on time, come on time–really pray (no talking please)!


And still plenty of time for socializing and bonding after services at the yummy Kiddish. 


(Source Photo: here with attribution to Brian Smithson)

Taking The Spin Off Things

Spin

Ok, so here is what I learned over the years about communication…


Question everything, believe nothing (except in G-d).


It’s not just that a lot of people out there are full of sh*t–yes, that is true too. 


But also that many powerful people are experts at manipulation and spin. 


Take just some recent some examples:


– We didn’t just give America and Israel-hating “suicidal, apocalypse-seeking” Iran a clear path to the bomb and in just half a generations’ time (along with hundreds of billions to continue funding global terror and a lifting of the weapons and ballistic missile embargo), instead we have a “comprehensive long term deal with Iran that will prevent it from obtaining a nuclear weapon.”


– With the hackers who not only showed how to take wireless control of a moving Jeep Cherokee, but also released information on how to do it, they didn’t put another tool in the toolkit of the cyber attackers and terrorists out there, instead “they are bringing atttention to an issue auto makers have for too long ignored.


Could go on and on to issue after issue…


The point is that from a young age we are primed to respect, listen, and automatically believe figures of authority and experts–when our parents, teachers, spiritual leaders or a policeman or fireman says something, we naturally believe them, who they are, and in them. 


This is what politicians and executives and other people in power prey on–that we will believe them over everyone else or any other facts to the contrary. They have the title, the uniform, the badge, or whatever, and so they must be good, honest, and trustworthy.


However, good parents and teachers make sure to tell children not just to take people or what they say at face value. For example, if someone comes to the door and says they are delivering a package, don’t just open the door.  Look through the peephole, ask for identification, or have them come with a neighbor, etc. 


I remember in the very first movie of “Death Wish” with Charles Bronson, where his wife and daughter answer the door expecting a simple delivery from the supermarket that they were just at and instead they get a brutal gang that murders the wife and rapes the daughter. 


Similarly, in cases where women get pulled over, attacked, and raped by someone with flashing lights, siren, and even a fake uniform/badge–even as you believe you are obeying the law, others are taking advantage and fooling you.


As comforting as our beliefs are and perhaps even that we just want to believe–things often are not as they appear or what we want or expect them to be–what goes on behind the scenes and the spin that comes out in front are designed to intoxicate the masses. 😉


(Source Photo: here with attribution to Kristian Niemi)