The Dark Side

Thought this was a fascinating piece in the Wall Street Journal’s Review Section called, “The Dark Triad and The Evolution of Jerks.”

Antisocial Personality Disorder is where people exhibit three primary symptoms:

1) Narcissism – Excessive focus on oneself.

2) Machiavellianism – Manipulating others for one’s own gain.

3) Psychopathy – Overall disregard for others, including impaired empathy and remorse

Together, these 3 traits make up “The Dark Triad” or perhaps they  come across as being from the dark side, because of how badly they can treat others. 

Studies have shown that these three traits are positively correlated with one another, and that more than 10% of the population has these. 

In reading a little more online at WebMD, I learned that the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath is that while they share similar traits, a psychopath typically acts as if they have no conscience, while a sociopath acts with a weak conscience. 

“At worst, they’re cold, calculating killers,” while at the less extreme, they may be okay with hurting others to get what they want. 

– Moreover, while “psychopaths are more cold-hearted and calculating,” sociopaths are “hot-headed” and “act without thinking how others will be affected.”

Another study found that people with these traits often “experienced low-quality or irregular parental care.” Thus a harsh or unstable childhood may cause these symptoms. 

Whether these people come from the dark side, are going to the dark side, or just are scary and hurtful, it is important to be able to recognize who you may be dealing with.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Ready To Explode

So have you ever had to deal with someone at work and they are NOT exactly acting the consummate professional?

They may be volatile, angry, raising their voice, intransigent, threatening, acting the a*s, maybe even a little meshuga.

Yeah, unfortunately it happens (although it absolutely shouldn’t)!  

People have crap going on in the office, at home, and sometimes they come in and they just can’t cope.  

G-d forbid, they should never really “go postal” as in real violence–but you never really know what you are going to be dealing with. 

One colleague said some people are just “hypervolic“–a new word for someone who is excessive, over the top, and emotionally volcanic!

Yikes–scary enough. 

Another colleague I know who is excellent with people and has decades of experience dealing with a cast of characters told me, “I just look at everyone as a bomb ready to go off.“

Ugh, not exactly how I would want to perceive people around me, but the point is well taken–you never know (and you can almost hear the ticking now). 

With some people we sort of know from dealing with them that they have some marbles loose, and while others may appear calm, cool, and collected on the outside, on the inside they may be a volcano ready to blow. 

Heck, you can’t read everyone right and even if you do, you can try to calm them down, listen to them, work with them, talk sense to them, suggest some counseling or other outside assistance, but even then they may go off the deep end. 

Lots of personalities out there, lots of people with problems and stresses, and sometimes we in our best intentions may make mistakes or unknowingly say the wrong thing and it only inflames the situation.

Of course hopefully, calmer heads will prevail, professionalism will take front seat, and people will get some perspective and do the right thing…chill man!

But also keep in mind what my colleagues said, some people may  just be ready to go explode–like a volcano–and we need to be ready for that too. 

How do you prepare for this?

Yeah, I don’t remember them covering that subject in leadership training–maybe with the exception of listen, show empathy, and if worst comes to worst you can either head for the exits to get away or shelter in place before the human stress bomb goes big boom! 😉

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Camilo Rueda Lopez)

From Coworker to Killer

People are people, but there are some who walk a fine and dangerous line.

Some are stable, rational people–those, that we hope we can depend on.

Others are prime time wack jobs–they are not “safe” and everyone knows to beware of them.

Finally, there are those who are like firecrackers, one step away from explosion–and these can pose a nasty surprise.

These last two perhaps invoke the fear of someone in the workplace “going postal”–a reference to the 1986 killing by a postal worker of 14 people and then himself.

In light of the workplace shooting this week in front the Empire State Building, Newsweek (3 September 2012) asks “How to Spot a Workplace Crazy?”

Their default answer–see the Department of Homeland Security’s Active Shooter Booklet, which includes a list of 16 “indicators of potential violence by an employee” (page 10) from addiction to depression, over reactions to mood swings, unprovoked rage to paranoia, and more.

Perhaps, their more genuine answer is that anybody can be the next workplace shooter–and that it is hard to really tell what demons lay in wait inside a person’s head or heart or what can set them off.

They reference  the book, Going Postal: Rage, Murder, and Rebellion, which states: “it can be anybody who’s getting completely screwed in the workplace–so that’s most workers in this country.”

When people feel a “perceived injustice” or they are “grievance collectors”–harboring hurt and anger at their mistreatment day-in and -out, they may be one step away from dangerous.

As leaders and managers, we cannot control for everything that people feel or for all their personal struggles and life’s circumstances, but we can do our best to treat others fairly, with compassion, to listen to them, and try to accomodate genuine needs.

I was reminded of this again, recently, when I went with my daughter to a car dealership.  At one point in negotiating for a new automobile, I asked a question about the current odometer reading.

The Manager yells over to a worker and tells him harshly to get on it and quickly.  It wasn’t what he said per se, but how he said it–ordering his subordinate around like a thing, not like a person.

My daughter turns to me and she is clearly uncomfortable with what she saw.  I asked her about it.  And she whispers to me, “Did you see how they treated the worker? It’s not right.”

I couldn’t agree with her more. And when the man came back with the information–we thanked him so much for helping us and told him what a good job he was doing getting everything ready–the paperwork and the vehicle.

Is he going to “go postal” today, tomorrow, or never…I don’t know–he seemed nice enough, but if people get pushed too far and their mental state is frayed, anything is possible, and we shouldn’t tempt fate–more importantly, we should treat everyone with respect and dignity.

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Charlie Essers)