Forgot To Bring Blood

So I go for some blood work today.

Lady pokes my arm, and nothing comes out. 

She moves the point of the needle around and around– still no blood. 

 

She says: “Hey, it’s your fault!”

I say: 

You’re right, no one told me that I was supposed to bring blood with me today. 

She looks up and says, “Okay let’s try the other arm!”

Then she spanks the arm…and I blurt out laughing, “hey do that again!”

Then poke, poke, and the blood easily fills a half dozen tubes.

She’s said, “You see that worked!”

I said:

I only brought blood in my right arm today!

If I could read her mind: “Ok, get the F*** out of the office.”

But she was nice and actually says, “You can get your results in about 3 days.”  😉

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What Type Of IT Error Is That?

So true story…

One of my collegues was giving me a status on an IT problem in the office. 

With a very straight face, he goes, “Yeah, it was an I.D. 10 T error!”

I’m just looking at him with a sort of blank face (I must have been emanating something like, “What are you talking about Willis?”)

And he repeats, “An I.D. 10 T error…uh?”

Ok, one more time, I haven’t had my coffee yet.

So he goes dotting his head, “What you haven’t heard about an I.D. 10 T error?”

“All right, you got me…What is an I.D. 10 T error.”

And as I’m saying it out loud and visioning it on paper, his little joke is out of the box.

Hey cut me some slack, I’m a Jewish kid from the Bronx and so I innocently say, “An IDIOT Error?”

Now he’s nodding his head up and down in excitement, “An end user–IDIOT–error!”

And he starts laughing his head off. 

Ok boys and girls in IT…rule #16 of office etiquette, please don’t call the end-users, idiots.

Back to customer service (and sensitivity) training for some of the jokesters on the team… 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

For The Love Of Pizza

So I was at an eatery (not this one) in South Florida. 

I order a sandwich, and I must’ve been in a little mood.

The waiter says to me, “Do you want it with everything?”

And I smiled and said, “Yeah, especially the everything!”

Then when we were done eating, I get up to pay at the counter, and pull out my plastic. 

The cashier says to me, “We only take cash.”

I smile again and now playing with her respond, “Well, I only pay plastic, now what do we do?”

I was only joking around as I pull out the few bucks of cash I happen to have in my pocket (note: I rarely even carry paper money in the age of technology).

As I left, I thought about the brief exchanges and sort of laughed to myself. 

It doesn’t pay to take a hard and fast line with people…

Much better to be flexible like, “What would you like on your sandwich (we have X, Y, and Z)?” or “Cash or credit today Sir?”

Being all or nothing just provokes an occasional smart aleck to pay a little back. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Read My Shirt

They remind me of Ethel and Fred from I Love Lucy.

Do you think that there are any couples out there that this rings true for?

Maybe just a few, right. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)