Where Does Organized Religion Go Wrong

So I am definitely someone who is spiritual and tries to be faithful to G-d.

I believe, He is my creator and sustainer and that we are here to learn and grow our soul before it goes back to Hashem. 

Yet often, like so many others now-a-days, I find organized religion to be a turn-off. 

Why?

1) There is a consistency and sincerity problem.

To some people, I believe it’s partially the rote and robotic nature of some of the practices–where we just do it, because we are told to do it, and we do it over and over and time after time, again–even when we don’t feel it in the moment, and even if we do other things that are not so right in other areas of our lives.  

In contrast perhaps, there can be more spontaneous and genuine feelings and actions, in the moment and every moment–that come from the heart and the soul of the person and directly to G-d–and they are consistent whether we are in a religious setting to how we treat others and how we act in business. 

In other words, we just don’t follow the rules, but we live them fully and integrated with ourselves and all situations we find ourselves in. 

2)  There is a money and power problem.

In some religious environments, all people are not created equal or treated equal. Instead, the say, the attention, and the honor goes to the powerful and the rich, who are courted for their donations and their votes to the institution and the spiritual leader. Who gets talked up? Who is given the honors at the religious rituals, at the events and the dinners, and with their communal “peers”? 

In other cases, it’s not just money and power that talks, but who is outwardly the “most religious” and presumably walks the walk.  If you but “seem” more religious than the next guy, then you are elevated and exalted in the religious community.  

Instead, what happened to welcoming and caring for everyone–to everyone being children of G-d–to each person having a soul and their personal life challenges. Why can’t we treat everyone as religiously worthwhile and give everyone a chance to learn and grow in their own way from their starting point and to their destination?  

Religion should be the one place that isn’t a competition with others. 

Religion is ultimately between man and G-d!

And only G-d knows what is inside man’s heart and in his soul–and what his actions really are all the time and what they truly mean in context and in essence. 

I welcome G-d in my life, because I:

– Have faith in Him and that ultimately He has a master plan and that everything is for the good 

– Love Him for giving me the chance to learn and grow my soul to be better

– Fear Him for when I do something wrong in my life and need a course correction 

I wish for a time and transformation when religion would not just be based on outward manifestations but on being sincere and consistent in people’s lives, and where people would no longer be superficially judged and (mis)treated because they are themselves and on their G-d given paths. 

If only we could religiously love, rather than endlessly judge, each other, oh what a heartfelt and inspiring religion that would be. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Getting Your Message Out With Impact

There is an old Jewish parable about the body parts arguing which is most important. 

Each makes it’s case that without that part, we just couldn’t function. (No jokes here now!)

But in the end, the tongue that harnesses the power of speech demonstrates that it is most important, because it is through our words that we may live or die. 

– Say the right thing–something smart and influence the masses–and you can change or even save the world.

– Say the wrong thing–something stupid, inflammatory, and damaging–and it can literally mean your or someone else’s life.

From an early age, we come to recognize that communication is so important to our success. 

Hey, I need a bottle or diaper changed…please!

Or answer the (interview) questions well, and you can land yourself in the best schools and jobs and even with the best ladies. 🙂

Those that succeed with communication, can we make themselves and their positions heard, understood, and accepted.

What are some common communication strategies people employ?

Well as we’ve all learned, it’s not always the one who is the boldest, screams the loudest, or repeats themselves the most that wins the argument–although at times, that too can work when force of debate, undeterred passion, and a little crazy can hammer the points home. 

Having the best laid out and most rationale argument–some people will rightfully be influenced by logic and common sense. 

Sincerity, integrity, honesty, and appealing to people’s gut and emotions–this certainly goes a long way as many people are driven by their feelings as well as their instincts and genuine character assessment of others. 

Making people confront what scares the hell out of them–fear is a big motivator for action and everyone is afraid of something and usually many things. 

Oh, of course, the religious argument that “It’s what G-d wants” and there will be fire and brimstone if you don’t do it that way–well reward and punishment, heaven and hell, divine justice–that certainly will move masses. 

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”

For those who can effectively harness the power of their speech and intellect, the sky is the limit. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Synagogue Time

So this is an interesting new phenomenon with synagogue. 

Usually, we like to go a little later so that basically we are there for about an hour and a half of services. 

That’s about my attention span and then I start to get claustrophobic and antsy. 

(BTW, some friends that go to Church told me that they have the same experience.)

But the last two weeks something changed…(no, not me). 

Last week in Maryland, we went to synagogue and the people were standing in front with the Ark open and I thought wow they are way ahead and are finished with Torah reading and are putting the Torahs away already. 

But after a moment, I realized they were only just taking out the Torahs for the weekly reading, and we were actually earlier than usual. 

When I inquired in synagogue why they were behind schedule, I learned that to get people there for more of the services, they had decided to start later. 

Ah, it’s a trick!

This week in Florida, I went to the Chabad shule and we were running late (hey, it’s vacation) about 10:45 and thought shule would almost be over, but they were just in the morning prayers still, and there wasn’t even a minyan yet.  

Two places, two synagogues, two weeks and they are changing the start times…

Seems smart from their perspective to try and get people there and for more of the services, but for the people who just want to come for a certain amount or parts of the service, isn’t this just going to cause people to come even later in an endless cat and mouse game. 

Start later, come later, start later, come later…

I’m no Rabbi, but how about a serious focused service–ONE solid hour (plus)–full of REAL kavanah (concentration), meaning, and sincerity, and everyone comes on time?

Start on time, come on time–really pray (no talking please)!

And still plenty of time for socializing and bonding after services at the yummy Kiddish. 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Brian Smithson)

Death To PowerPoint

Ok, we’ve all heard of “Death by PowerPoint” (well, I’m advocating death to PowerPoint). 

It’s the unfortunate occurrence that happens when a speaker presents a wad too many slides (OMG, some people seem to go on and on forever –get them off that podium)!

Or when they present too much information, too little information, or just don’t know what or how to present at all. 

Their (slide) presentations leave the audience basically wanting to just kill themselves, if not the inconsiderate S.O.B. speaker.

But aside from lousy speakers, you have a crappy presentation mechanism, which is PowerPoint slides.

Hello out there, tell the truth…

Can any of you remember much of a darn thing that anyone has ever conveyed to you by PowerPoint?

Think of webinars, conferences, and meetings galore with slide after slide of 2-dimensional boredom.

Is your head hurting you yet or are you just glad you can’t remember any of it–natural selection of memory saves you the pain…why thank you.

Then consider what someone has told you in great thoughtfulness, confidence, or with genuine passion, caring and sincerity.

– Perhaps, the wisdom of a parent or teacher who took you aside to tell you a life’s lesson.

– Or a Rabbi or Priest who shared with you something spiritual and uplifting to guide you on your path.

– How about someone in the office who was passionate about an idea or project and who motivated you as well.

Most of the communication between people that really means something never makes it to a PowerPoint slide.

Imagine for a moment, if something meaningful was conveyed to you by slide presentation–you would think, how ridiculous it is to use PowerPoint for that?

– I love you–will you marry me?

– We’re having a baby, how wonderful. 

– Just got that promotion, yes!

– So and so is sick or just passed away, how terrible. 

PowerPoint just doesn’t happen here in real life–thank G-d!

And no matter how much organizations such as TED would like to make a (show)business out of presentations using PowerPoint…(ah, nope).

Real communication happens when one person talks from the heart to another person who receives it in their heart. 

The greatest orators in history…never used a slide presentation.

Other presentation products like Prezi tried to take slides to the next level with a storytelling format using a virtual canvas, but that didn’t pan out to well either…see many Prezis lately (and without getting dizzy)?

PowerPoint slides, and the like, are for distraction…now I don’t have to pay that much attention to the rambling, numbnut speaker anymore.

The bottom line…we don’t listen with our eyes!

Rather, we hear words of wisdom and see when someone is genuine, sincere and worth listening to.

The rest is PowerPoint… 😉

G-d, Thinking Of You

I saw this on the side of a car and liked it–simple and to the point:

“Praise G-d”

My father used to tell me that “There are no atheists in a foxhole”–basically every one shits their pants when that tank rolls overhead.

There is a tendency to turn to G-d when we feel we need him–when times are bad–but then sort of forget about him when things are okay again, and we feel like we have it all under control.

Even when things are bleak, it can be easy to lose faith in anger and despair. 

So challenge #1 is to remember him in good times and bad–we are in his hands, always. 

In terms of how we praise G-d?

Some do it in prayer, others in deed.

That leads to challenge #2–to speak and act with consistency and sincerity. 😉 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Be, Be Yourself

I thought this was a cute sign in the elevator at Safeway.

“Be Yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

Why they put this up in a supermarket, I don’t really know.

Anyway, gotta hate phonies, kiss-ups, and B.S. artists–in the store or out.

My wife’s grandfather used to say, “What comes from the heart, goes to the heart”–I really like that!

An ounce of sincerity is worth more than a ton of faking it–even if you’re a good fake. 😉

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lessons Learned From My Family By Rebecca Blumenthal

This is a moving interview with Rebecca Blumenthal.

She came to me this afternoon, spontaneously, to tell me some meaningful lessons she had gathered from some of the special members of her family.

Immediately after I heard a few of the things she had to say, I asked her if she would mind me capturing these beautiful sentiments on this short video.

I was very moved by her sincerity and thoughtfulness, and it gave me pause in my own life to appreciate these things anew from the people who have been so important in my life as well.

(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)

The Shofar: We Can All Improve

The Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah) is tonight, and it is a time of introspection and commitment to do better in the future.

On Rosh Hashanah, we blow the Shofar (traditionally made from a ram’s horn) in synagogue.

My sister-in-law, Sara Herbsman, told me a beautiful learning about the three types of blasts on the Shofar that correspond to 3 types of people that think they may be beyond repair, but who can still improve their lives:

1) Tekiah–tekiah means rooted and is one long blast–a person is never too stuck, stubborn, or set in their ways to change.

2) Shevarim–shevar means broken and the sound is 3 short broken blasts–that is a person is never to broken to fix.

3) Teruah–comes from the word Ra which means bad and is 9 rapid very short alarm blasts–that is a person is never too bad or evil to repent.

For those who have heard the Shofar blast, it is a moving experience–as if your very soul is stirred to introspection and fear of heaven.

I remember learning in Jewish Day School that our prayers would ascend to G-d in heaven on the blast of the Shofar.

But what I always like the best was the story of the one little boy in synagogue who did not know how to pray, but instead just cried–and his tears, full of sincerity, ascended beyond all the other prayers all the way to throne of the Almighty.

May G-d bless us with a happy, healthy, prosperous, and peaceful New Year.

Andy

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Elias Punch)

Friends or Foes

People are amazing creatures–they can be sincere and trustworthy or phoney and users.  How do you tell them apart?

I learned in enterprise architecture and information architecture that information is power and currency–i.e. that those who have it rule and those who know how to get it–are the kingpins.

They may get information legitimately through research, study, reading, review, and working with others or they may cozy up to others illegitimately, to more to the point–find out “what’s going on?” what have they heard. or “what’s the real scoop?”

In some cases, it is merely benign networking and that is a healthy thing–or as they say, “it’s not what you know, but who you know.”

But in other cases, some people may take it too far, and literally prey on others when they are vulnerable, trusting, or simply let their guard down.

We spend a lot of our waking hours in the office , and therefore people’s social needs manifest in work friendships, confiding in others, going out for a coffee, lunch, drinks, etc.

However, at work, people are also competitive and can be ruthless in getting what they want, making themselves look good, badmouthing others, going for that “gotcha”, and even stealing other people’s ideas and hard work–now where did they leave that notebook?

So when you tell an associate something–are they trustworthy with your feelings, experiences, information tidbits or will they take what you share and use it for their own ends?

There are a lot of good, decent people out there, but unfortunately, not all of people are.

Is their face for real or a poker face?  Are they playing on your side or playing you?  Will they come to your aid at the moment of truth or use the opportunity to thrust the blade through your back.

My father used to joke about some people being two-faced, and then why would they choose that (ugly) one that they have on. 🙂

I always learned talk is cheap and actions speak volumes. So when someone asks about your latest project, your kids, or ailing parents–is it from someone who genuinely gives a hoot or from someone who’d like to get you off guard, even for that split second.

In the military, this would be related to psychological operations (PsyOps)–getting into the other’s person’s head, figuring out what makes them tick, and then using that to extract intelligence or inflict mental and emotional “blows.”

In law enforcement, perhaps the equivalent would be the old “good cop, bad cop” routine–where one person offers you some cold water or a cigarette and tells you everything will be alright, while the other person slams the table, yells, threatens, and says “your going to be going away for a long time.”

There are lots of ways to get into a person’s head, under their skin, and get to that valuable information–without going to the levels of physical, “torture” techniques, some of which have since been generally outlawed such as waterboarding.

So which people that you deal with are good, genuine, helpful, and have integrity, and which are selfish, nasty, and cruel?

It is definitely a challenge day-in and day-out to tell who is who–and you shouldn’t let the bad apples out there, ruin your trust in all people–you just have to make sure to look beyond the veneer–to see if the other person is more friend or foe.

(Source Photo: herewith attribution to BlueRidgeKitties)

A Boy Who’s Name Is Light

Recently, I inspired by an award-winning documentary that I watched on Netflix called Praying With Lior (2007).The movie is about the development and spiritual maturation of a Jewish child with Down Syndrome to his Bar Mitzvah (and a few years past).As a young child, Lior Liebling is comforted by his mother, who is a Rabbi, who teaches Lior to pray and sing to G-d.

She holds him and they share an amazing bond both maternal and spiritual that never leaves Lior.

Unfortunately, the mother has breast cancer and passes away when Lior is only 6.

Right before his bar mitzvah, Lior goes to his mother’s gravesite and clings to it saying, “I miss you,” and then breaks down in tears that I could feel or imagined rising up to the heavens itself.

Lior is deeply loved by his family–father (also a Rabbi), stepmother, and 3 siblings–who play, engage, teach him, and learn from him as well.

Lior means light in Hebrew, and Lior brings light to everyone he meets–inspiration to overcome challenge, deep love of G-d and community, and faith that his mother is watching over him.

Lior makes it to his bar-mitzvah–and becomes a proverbial Jewish man–he says the blessing, reads from the Torah, celebrates with his family and loved ones, and even gives a speech on the importance of Torah.

At the celebration, he goes over to another retarded girl, and says something about how she is special and that “I am going to marry you.”

I watched this young man, Lior, pray with a rigor that I have not been able to do for some time, and I was inspired not by the words he said, nor the song he sang, or even the cheer he brought others, but rather I think I was moved by the simple sincerity and purity of his heart.

Lior didn’t want anything, didn’t have an agenda, wasn’t trying to do anything to anybody, he was just a soul that reached out to others–loving them, hugging them, kissing them, and yes, praying with them–often actually leading the services.

One of Lior’s classmates that was interviewed said that everyone has a test, and Lior’s is an incredibly difficult one–but he is succeeding extraordinarily by not only surviving with his disability, but also showing others the way.

Thank you Lior for being such an amazing inspiration to us all–may you go from strength to strength and someday reunite with not only your heavenly father, but also your mother who awaits to sing and pray with you in great joy again.